Family cut themselves out of my son's life

duchy

I thought Wiggy wanted to be a teacher not a social worker .......bit of a jump there !!

I think there is lots of want going on here but maybe not so much need.
Every twenty one year old would like to learn to drive but with lessons costing £25-30 an hour and a two part test and the fact Wiggy is currently on benefit and doesn't have a job yet it is one heck of a financial commitment.

Of course everyone would like to take their toddler on holiday every year but that is several hundred pounds that could be saved so if Wiggy is offered a job that means she has to relocate (and lets face it a relocation could be a really good thing for the right job for the Wig household) there would be savings to cover moving costs, new furniture etc. In the big picture Wiggy starting a proper job and getting her career going is of far greater benefit to Wiglet (and Wiggy) than a few days at the seaside . A career means holidays and other stuff every year -and the opportunities are far broader if you can be that bit more portable. Once Wiglet starts school it'll become harder to move-after all .

Honestly Wiggy I really think a job should come first-and then the rest will fall into place.

lostinrates

duchy wrote: »

Honestly Wiggy I really think a job should come first-and then the rest will fall into place.

I agree. Wiggy already has lots of commitments she seems to handle pretty well for a young person, housing costs, childcare, dog etc, But becoming established and financially prudent and wise will be of far better benefit to all of you than a few days away.

wiggywoo9

Thanks. Had the HV around today- remember I called the WAY back about situation and heard nothing? Well she tried to come before Christmas but it was a day we were out so missed her and came today. Just to check I was doing ok, and wiglet. All fine, think she just wanted to check I was not ill or anything from situation and wiglet was being looked after well. I did say headaches still keep coming but the tablets given last time helped, just rationed them. once I have a spare hour I'll get a repeat prescription.

I do agree with what's been said above with main focus on a job. I am looking at getting another placement (more experience the better) in social care to see if that route is what I'd like more than teaching. The nursery have been great and are looking into using up the funded hours (I use 9 out of 15 at the moment) so wiglet is there for a full day. This way I'd be in a placement two days, then studying for qualifications the other three, with family time (hopefully swimming!) and 'dad' time weekends.

I really am striving towards a job, but whilst I have the 'leeway' to get ahead on IS, I want to get fully qualified or start it at least, as a teacher or social worker. I think that makes sense really, as a degree doesn't seem to cut it anymore and I'd like to aim for a good job above 18k per year to be able to support wiglet properly.

I also need to top up savings as they've dipped recently, as had to pay ahead for childminder when he started. I am trying to do things I like too and make friends- just joined another book club

mcja

Remind me how old you are again.

Wiglet is going to grow up a very sensible lad. You are doing brilliantly, and should be very proud of where you are.

meritaten

while I agree it is sensible to plan for the future - I think Wiggy should factor in some 'fun' too! and a few days holiday is hardly extravagant is it?

wiggywoo9

Meri- planning on some day trips and i'm already starting on his birthday things. There are day trips for 2 for £10 where I am, you just pay admission for some things, like Hatton Country World (which he loved last time!). Also found a great soft play near us which is £2.50 for 2 hours, great find

harrys_nan

I don't know you in real life, but I'm bloody proud of you xx

msb5262

harrys_nan wrote: »

I don't know you in real life, but I'm bloody proud of you xx

I feel exactly the same! You are an inspiration Wiggywoo...

MrsAtobe

harrys_nan wrote: »

I don't know you in real life, but I'm bloody proud of you xx

Me too, I wish I had been as savvy as you at your age Wiggy, would have saved me some heartache xxx

meritaten

wiggy - you are an inspiration to all young mums! you are so mature, and I am dam sure you would be a success in either teaching or social work - you seem to have an innate understanding of how a 'real mum' should be! plus you have been through such a lot yourself and pulled YOURSELF out of it!
you remind me of my daughter in many ways - she has always had a wise head on her shoulders and will fight to the death for HER kids and OH. and with two kids with Aspergers she has had to! but she factors in 'fun' too and just enjoys life!
I wish you two could meet one day - I am sure you would get on like a house on fire!