Is he being kind or deceitful?

paulineb_2

Emoticon wrote: »

Bless you, No, she wouldnt have been damaged by it. He is sub and I am Domme. He is locked in chastity to me. But I dont think this really has any relevance to the issue.

Just because hes into BDSM does not mean he cant be unfaithful.

I think it has massive relevance. You might think hes being faithful because of this kink, but hes still acting like he has a lot to hide, so unless he starts telling the truth I think you need to face the fact that he might have another gf on the go. Whether shes into BDSM or vanilla, makes no odds really.

Someone who is into BDSM sex can still be a bare faced liar.

Emoticon

poet123 wrote: »

Could she still be exerting her dominance over him?

Nope she was sub too...thats one of the reasons their relationship foundered.

dandelionclock30

He might not be locked in that tightly.LOL.

Loads of people are into kinky sex like Pauline says. I have a friend who runs a S and M dungeon and makes a killing from it.

Gleek

Emoticon wrote: »

Bless you, No, she wouldnt have been damaged by it. He is sub and I am Domme. He is locked in chastity to me. But I dont think this really has any relevance to the issue.

Then perhaps she was his past-Domme, hence the money giving, the walking all over him and not caring for his feelings

Could it be why he hasn't told his parents/family?

Either way, I stand by my original post.

paulineb_2

Emoticon wrote: »

Nope she was sub too...thats one of the reasons their relationship foundered.

With respect thats his version of events.

barbiedoll

Ah, that sheds a little light on things. Is there any possibility that Alice is blackmailing him? Or is he still her sub? (if not physically then maybe just mentally?)

*Cross posted with everyone else*

bagpussbear

Emoticon wrote: »

Yes I have seen him on a weekday. I know whre he works. IF I had been a snooper I could have Alice's telephone number, his bank details...pretty much everything....he has never hidden anything...
If he loves her more, then fine....I'll get over it.

He is a normal guy not wealthy....same as me.
I have his landline and he speends most eveings and weekend on syke with me....more so that a partnered man could maintain....

Giving hundreds of pounds a month to someone when you aren't wealthy, well no-one in their right mind would do that unless there was a very good reason (or legally required to).

Reading some of your answers, I am inclined to agree with you now there isn't probably a wife.

But I do think that it's possible there is a child on the scene.

But I am also wondering now, given your shared physical interest, whether this Alice is blackmailing him (photos/videos that she is threatening to put on the web, send to his family)?

or could it be he is a paying for another physical service that he is for some reason, not choosing to have with you? Something out of the sub/dom agreement? sorry I don't know much about these things though, so just wondering

It's puzzling for sure.

Errata

I'm out, it's just not my night for peering under bridges.

marisco_2

Emoticon wrote: »

Any ideas/opinions gratefully received from you wise ones:o

It is not Alice who is being kept in the dark over the truth of things by this guy. As someone on the outside looking in, his version of events simply do not add up. I cannot fathom why he chooses to mess with your emotions the way he is and play such silly games. My gut reaction is that you stand to get hurt if you continue to be in a relationship with him.

LannieDuck

My vote's child support for a teenager. If she had a child about age 40, it's perfectly possible he could still be paying support and occasionally having long chats with said teenager on phone.

I don't think the fact he's a sub has anything to do with it.