Is he being kind or deceitful?

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Errata wrote: »

I'm out, it's just not my night for peering under bridges.

I appreciate it all sounds weird. Believe me I think its weird and I know I'm not a troll!

Goodnight

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Gigervamp wrote: »

It sounds like Alice is fleecing him. He sends her 100's each month and yet something always comes up when he wants to meet up with her?

Well yes, the cynic in me thought this too.

But then I just wondered why he would continue to send money....but then I thought he might be kidding himself she still cared about him because she then has to "keep him sweet" through phoning........

Trouble is it would be very hurtfull to suggest this to him, don't you think?

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*max* wrote: »

:eek: I was only joking!

Oh it can be fun....you should try it!!lol
:rotfl:

yvonne13_2

OP is it possible that the reason he pays the money every month is because he's paying his half of the mortgage?

What you've wrote doesn't make sense....he TOLD you that he sends money every month yet he declines to speak on the phone to her in front of you, why? Have you ever given him money???

It's 3 years hun somethings got to give. You have no relationship nor future with this man as there's no trust. Sorry to say this but leave him to his 200 mile secret relationship and find someone else that's not going to treat you as the "might as well then" woman before it's too late.

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yvonne13 wrote: »

OP is it possible that the reason he pays the money every month is because he's paying his half of the mortgage? Its possible I suppose but not sure it makes any difference - he's been in this job and house many years and has no connection to her locality

What you've wrote doesn't make sense....he TOLD you that he sends money every month yet he declines to speak on the phone to her in front of you, why? Have you ever given him money??? No Ive never given him any money - the calls are long and she doesn't know I'm there so he goes into another room.

It's 3 years hun somethings got to give. You have no relationship nor future with this man as there's no trust. Sorry to say this but leave him to his 200 mile secret relationship and find someone else that's not going to treat you as the "might as well then" woman before it's too late.

"Might as well then woman"? Oucheee:eek:

I guess that my decision to stop seeing him is reasonable and I'm not over reacting then, from the vast majority of responses.

I did think that more posters would have given him the benefit of the doubt.

There again its only me who has experienced all the rest of the relationship which has been so good:)

lostinrates

Emoticon wrote: »

All my side know about him but are still somewhat on the side of my ex, so I haven't forced any introductions until now as we didn't expect the relationship would develop into a partnership.

Also the BDSM aspect means I don't tend to introduce my subs to my family/friends!!

I suspect that until recently he felt he didn't want to admit he had a Domme but he was willing to introduce me to family as a gf (Just not to Alice!)

Whoever said you have to introduce each other as sub and Domme? As you say, many ( most?) would just be bf/ gf. Understandably, ( and appropriately for here) you aren't being clear here where your lines were drawn? You might get more help from somewhere you can be more appropriately frank. Google will bring up several suggestions if you have no other network.

As for the belt...politely...so what? Its not the only way to cheat, its not the only act to perform, its not even the act some prefer.

19lottie82

Maybe a bit extreme, but if you really want to get to the bottom of it and you can afford it, hire a private investigator? I think there is something going on but I don't know what.

FBaby

If he had a teenage child I wouldn't mind in the least. There is no reason for him to have lied about that.

Unless it would lead to him admitted that he has been a crap father maybe?

He once said he'd like to surprise her to see if he caught her out cheating on HIM!! Then he could end the friendship with a clear conscience....

And you let that go by? Why? Doesn't that say it all right there? That IF she was with someone else, he wouldn't give her money any longer? So he is paying her so that he still has a relationship with her, whatever that relationship is? It's not friendship that's for sure, because you don't stop being friend with people when they get into a relationship.

What I don't understand is why it is all coming to a head now? 3 years is a long time to accept that you are sharing him with another woman. Did you go into denial because you enjoyed what you had with him and was not to bothered about the future, but now that you are considering more, this is in the way?

jetplane

OP you say you have enough evidence to trash his life so probably Alice has too so she could be blackmailing him.

He tells you she wasn't domme but as you are not privvy to any of his conversations how do you know anything really? Maybe she is orchestrating this whole scenario?

The foundation of a BDSM relationship must ultimately be trust and respect should it not? You have neither.

Errata

Person_one wrote: »

Is it just me or have there been a lot of bridges going up the last few weeks?

Nah, it's like the Thames around here sometimes.