Is he being kind or deceitful?

neon_dannii

I'm also not sure why you're making excuses for him.

JUST ASK HIM WHAT IS GOING ON! Then let us know your feelings.

You know that it cannot go on as it is now

System

Maybe he has another fetish that the OP doesn't know about and he's paying for Alice for services rendered.

Just a thought.

Emoticon

Oops I think there is some misinformation filtering in here...he isnt advertised on a BDSM website!

I also know all about every aspect of Professional Domination. Though I am not professional its just an element of my sexuality rather than a job, lol!

He told me about Alice and the money as soon as we started becoming more than BDSM partners.

I am 100% certain there is no one else living with him I ave a key and am free to go there when he is at work. I could snoop through his things but its just not my way. If he doesnt love me and chooses Alice that is his free will.

The type of BDSM we enjoy requires high levels of trust - what I know about him I could ruin his career - so I just dont think (not sure obviously) that he would risk treating me badly and risking my wrath or revenge. And maybe this is why I appear to be "making excuses" for him.

Its pretty much an unwritten rule in BDSM that you don't engage in play with another Domme's sub. But of course it could happen. Dommes like me who are not professional are as rare as hen's teeth and outnumber available subs by about 1000/1 and I think if you asked 100 sub men if they would prefer to pay £150 per hour to be ripped off by a (mercenary - apologies to any reading this!) pro domme, or have a true D/s relationship in which you can push each others limits within an otherwise caring relationship...I think you wouldnt find many customers.

As to where he is and what he's doing now? He is upset to have let me down and he says determined to put things right without risking Alice's fragility in order not to enter a long term relationship with a burden of guilt.

We shall see wont we? But I will keep my distance and protect myself from distress that is, I admit, the most likely outcome.

Thank you all for giving me your thoughts and I apologise if the BDSM side of this is offensive to anyone. Hopefully everyone accessing this site is an adult. There again the music industry does try (and fail miserably) to make BDSM acceptable in the mainstream. Perhaps I'm more honest - if too open!

Emoticon

Judi wrote: »

Maybe he has another fetish that the OP doesn't know about and he's paying for Alice for services rendered.

Just a thought.

Its possible of course but we do explore all sorts of things openly and I am not easily shocked or offended;)

Watch out for my book "Five hundred fetishes of Emoticon" lol

Emoticon

pollypenny wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

And you are not a troll? :cool:

No I'm not, are you?
Or are you just incredibly unimaginative behind closed doors?
:T

chelseablue

*max* wrote: »

Think I'll pass! Imagine if you lose the key...awkward conversation with the locksmith or what...

Just wanted to say thank you for this post, I actually burst out laughing at work

Thank you for giving me the best laugh I've had all week :rotfl::rotfl:

Gigervamp

TeamLowe wrote: »

if you google it (not on work computer obviously lol) the first hit is a daily mail article from a lady who makes $3-5k a month EXCLUDING GIFTS and she says how she got into it

I used to know a guy who asked me to blackmail him. It was tempting, I'll admit, but my conscience wouldn't let me. It just felt wrong.

Emoticon

*max* wrote: »

Think I'll pass! Imagine if you lose the key...awkward conversation with the locksmith or what...

Oh BDSM is in the 21st century, male chastity devices are mostly polycarbonate - meaning they could be smashed in an emergency....but then he'd find it difficult to explain where it was the next time we met!

paulineb_2

Emoticon wrote: »

Oh BDSM is in the 21st century, male chastity devices are mostly polycarbonate - meaning they could be smashed in an emergency....but then he'd find it difficult to explain where it was the next time we met!

To be fair, thats the least of your worries right now

If you are prepared to allow someone to treat you like second best, what does it matter about your relationship in the bedroom.

The fact that hes locked into chastity with you frankly means squat unless he can treat you with some kind of respect away from the bedroom.

Hes not doing that right now.

Troutwrestler

globetraveller wrote: »

are you sure that is not his wife?

My first thoughts too....

It's a very complicated state of affairs..and tbh..when something's that complicated I usually find it's not true.