Is he being kind or deceitful?

Emoticon

Gigervamp wrote: »

I used to know a guy who asked me to blackmail him. It was tempting, I'll admit, but my conscience wouldn't let me. It just felt wrong.

Its a good job you were cautious - people have been prosecuted for doing it. Think about it, when he's bored of it he has the evidence of all your blackmail to take to the police.

I'm not that naive ...its a big bad world.

Gigervamp

Emoticon wrote: »

Its a good job you were cautious - people have been prosecuted for doing it. Think about it, when he's bored of it he has the evidence of all your blackmail to take to the police.

I'm not that naive ...its a big bad world.

Yeah, that was one of the things I considered. Plus, he was a nice guy, I couldn't take advantage of him.

Lucy_Lastic

paulineb wrote: »

I actually dont think Alice is blackmailing him, what would be the point?

Er...Money?

Errata

This thread is almost as funny as the dog and the bag for life one.

lostinrates

Emoticon wrote: »

I also know all about every aspect of Professional Domination. Though I am not professional its just an element of my sexuality rather than a job, lol!
wow, not many can claim that, even ft professionals!

......

The type of BDSM we enjoy requires high levels of trust - what I know about him I could ruin his career - so I just dont think (not sure obviously) that he would risk treating me badly and risking my wrath or revenge.

these statements strike me as contradictory, especially as made more than once in the thread rather than just an aside

Comments above. It also tickles you seem to assume you are the only kinkster on such a well populated forum! I know of at least one other who was (somewhat discretely) open about his kink here. Never mind those who aren't open about it!

LEJC

Well sylvia day and EL James have a lot to answer for!

this guy is not going to have any kind of loving and normal relationship with you until such time as the sub and dom thing is ended.

I read this thread yesterday and it came across originally as someone genuinely wanting advice...but the posts ahave become more erratic and sorry quite frankly trollesque.

even the phrases that the op uses dont seem to fit to the original generic image of a 50 something female described in the opening post

New user...ummm

Sorry im bowing out.

paulineb_2

Emoticon wrote: »

Oops I think there is some misinformation filtering in here...he isnt advertised on a BDSM website!

I also know all about every aspect of Professional Domination. Though I am not professional its just an element of my sexuality rather than a job, lol!

He told me about Alice and the money as soon as we started becoming more than BDSM partners.

I am 100% certain there is no one else living with him I ave a key and am free to go there when he is at work. I could snoop through his things but its just not my way. If he doesnt love me and chooses Alice that is his free will.

The type of BDSM we enjoy requires high levels of trust - what I know about him I could ruin his career - so I just dont think (not sure obviously) that he would risk treating me badly and risking my wrath or revenge. And maybe this is why I appear to be "making excuses" for him.

Its pretty much an unwritten rule in BDSM that you don't engage in play with another Domme's sub. But of course it could happen. Dommes like me who are not professional are as rare as hen's teeth and outnumber available subs by about 1000/1 and I think if you asked 100 sub men if they would prefer to pay £150 per hour to be ripped off by a (mercenary - apologies to any reading this!) pro domme, or have a true D/s relationship in which you can push each others limits within an otherwise caring relationship...I think you wouldnt find many customers.

As to where he is and what he's doing now? He is upset to have let me down and he says determined to put things right without risking Alice's fragility in order not to enter a long term relationship with a burden of guilt.

We shall see wont we? But I will keep my distance and protect myself from distress that is, I admit, the most likely outcome.

Thank you all for giving me your thoughts and I apologise if the BDSM side of this is offensive to anyone. Hopefully everyone accessing this site is an adult. There again the music industry does try (and fail miserably) to make BDSM acceptable in the mainstream. Perhaps I'm more honest - if too open!

You said you met on a special interests website, I would imagine its much the same thing. And my point is, hes hardly hiding the fact hes into BDSM if he meets people who are also into it, hence why I find it hard to believe hes being blackmailed. You dont go looking for other people who share the same interests if you really dont want anyone else to know what you are doing.

He is treating you badly. You just dont seem to want to acknowledge that

As other people have said, there will be people on this site who know what BDSM is and not just by reading a ridiculous tacky mainstream book.

Im not part of any BDSM scene but I know people who are, comments about a chastity belt and whether someone is submissive or not are hardly going to send me into a tailspin.

paulineb_2

Although if the special interests site you met on was cake decorating then obviously Im way off the mark.

poet123

Errata wrote: »

This thread is almost as funny as the dog and the bag for life one.

Do you think it may be an attempt at getting an MSE thread to go viral like the Penis Beaker one on Mumsnet?;)

lostinrates

paulineb wrote: »

You said you met on a special interests website, I would imagine its much the same thing. And my point is, hes hardly hiding the fact hes into BDSM if he meets people who are also into it, hence why I find it hard to believe hes being blackmailed. You dont go looking for other people who share the same interests if you really dont want anyone else to know what you are doing.

He is treating you badly. You just dont seem to want to acknowledge that

As other people have said, there will be people on this site who know what BDSM is and not just by reading a ridiculous tacky mainstream book.

Im not part of any BDSM scene but I know people who are, comments about a chastity belt and whether someone is submissive or not are hardly going to send me into a tailspin.

Tbf, there are people who use Internet for meet ups, will attend munches etc, but want no crossover into their real lives. (So I am lead to believe ) Much like some people panic if their Mse identity is discovered because they have discussed emotionally or financially sensitive stuff.