Parents want to do a "House Swap".

Lunar_Eclipse

AlexLK wrote: »

Thank you everybody for all the advice. So far as my parents go, they are seeking advice regarding tax.

If I'm truthful, I would like to move to the house and could make it "home". The problem is my wife and also if she ends up divorcing me (we are not exactly happily married at the moment). Anyhow, that is a different matter.

Your parents should look in to deeds of trust for any inheritance, to ensure it doesn't leave the (their) family. This is actually what everyone should do, given the statistics on divorce. It's a paper transaction, completed by lawyers.

The house swap probably makes sense financially, though there is a risk associated with it in the event your marriage breaks down. I don't recommend it for that reason in principle, but more importantly, am not sure it's a good idea due to your wife's feelings. Most people couldn't turn down the c800k net asset increase though, so credit to her if she does.

As for the private education gift, I would personally accept that without any doubt, but I would ensure the school was the best fit for the child (& not necessarily your old school.) When physically looking at all options, not many mothers would choose a class of 30 over a class of 12-16 for starters. Of course it really depends on how much variety and choice of schools you have in your locality though. There are very nice private and state schools out there, but class size at primary age and facilities/sport at secondary would lead me to choose an independent "free" option as opposed to a state "free" option. My personal caveat at secondary might be grammar schools; we looked at a few and one of those was my favourite (but 300 miles away!) Each to their own though; I have some die hard 'local school only' friends who could easily afford private school fees if they wanted.

AlexLK

merlot123 wrote: »

You have debts in the excess of 30k, has your credit score been affected, are you paying at least the minimum payment on all the debts, otherwise how do you think you will be able to get a mortgage unless you can port your existing one?

I presumed we'd be able to do something easily about the mortgage because of the equity in parents' home?

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

Your parents should look in to deeds of trust for any inheritance, to ensure it doesn't leave the (their) family. This is actually what everyone should do, given the statistics on divorce. It's a paper transaction, completed by lawyers.

The house swap probably makes sense financially, though there is a risk associated with it in the event your marriage breaks down. I don't recommend it for that reason in principle, but more importantly, am not sure it's a good idea due to your wife's feelings. Most people couldn't turn down the c800k net asset increase though, so credit to her if she does.

As for the private education gift, I would personally accept that without any doubt, but I would ensure the school was the best fit for the child (& not necessarily your old school.) When physically looking at all options, not many mothers would choose a class of 30 over a class of 12-16 for starters. Of course it really depends on how much variety and choice of schools you have in your locality though. There are very nice private and state schools out there, but class size at primary age and facilities/sport at secondary would lead me to choose an independent "free" option as opposed to a state "free" option. My personal caveat at secondary might be grammar schools; we looked at a few and one of those was my favourite (but 300 miles away!) Each to their own though; I have some die hard 'local school only' friends who could easily afford private school fees if they wanted.

My wife is somebody who would like to look back and feel she'd "made it" on her own.

The local (state) village school has 45 pupils.

merlot123

I do think before you even go any further with the house swap idea, you should look into how easy it will be for you to get a mortgage with what you say on a previous thread a wrecked credit rating.

I doubt this move will happen cause of your credit score/rating. These things stay on your credit file for upto 6 years. You may think you been clever saving for full and final offers, but in the process trashed any chance I would say of obtaining a new mortgage at a reasonable affordable rate, if at all.

hollydays

Just before I read your comment where you said you weren't exactly happily married, I was about to highlight that this is coming across in the thread.
Has she ever accused you of being selfish?
Have you started this thread to justify what you really want to do?
How well matched are you?
I don't see much " us" here only " me" and that's not a recipe for happiness.

AlexLK

merlot123 wrote: »

I do think before you even go any further with the house swap idea, you should look into how easy it will be for you to get a mortgage with what you say on a previous thread a wrecked credit rating.

I doubt this move will happen cause of your credit score/rating. These things stay on your credit file for upto 6 years. You may think you been clever saving for full and final offers, but in the process trashed any chance I would say of obtaining a new mortgage at a reasonable affordable rate, if at all.

Considering the amount of equity in the house I'm sure we could find some kind of mortgage or it (the mortgage) could be put in my wife's name?

hollydays wrote: »

Just before I read your comment where you said you weren't exactly happily married, I was about to highlight that this is coming across in the thread.
Has she ever accused you of being selfish?
Have you started this thread to justify what you really want to do?
How well matched are you?
I don't see much " us" here only " me" and that's not a recipe for happiness.

Many times. However, that is not the case, in fact if anything she is the selfish one.

Yes, I suppose I did, in some ways.

What do you mean by "well matched"? If you mean similar interests, quite.

This is not all about "me" at all.

hollydays

Who is it about?

AlexLK

hollydays wrote: »

Who is it about?

My whole family and what is best for them.

hollydays

And by your whole family, who do you mean? Please don't be emotionally /financially blackmailed by your parents into it all being about your sons future and education, while in reality that's a smokescreen for much bigger things in your life ..like loyalties.

My well matched I didn't mean interests I meant dreams and aims .

AlexLK

Myself, my wife, son and my parents.

hollydays

Your family is you , your wife and son now. Try to remember they must come first.