Parents want to do a "House Swap".

AlexLK

Mojisola: I must do because my parents' wishes are not my priority. However, I too want my son to have a good education, nor do I see a problem with that.

heartbreak_star

Because private education is always better than state education, is it?

As I said on your other thread Alex, the worst bullies I ever knew came from private school, and every doctor, lawyer, scientist and lecturer I know went to plain old state schools. Including me.

That's not to mention the levels of self-harm, eating disorders, hazing and drugs in some private schools...

I still wouldn't swap the house. Cut the apron strings.

HBS x

AlexLK

HBS: Having never experienced the state education system beyond watching "Educating Yorkshire" :rotfl: ... I couldn't really say.

I must admit I do worry somewhat about bullying but I'd be worried about that no matter which school he went to.

As for the house, I am unsure what to do but don't have to decide right now.

Mojisola

AlexLK wrote: »

Mojisola: I must do because my parents' wishes are not my priority. However, I too want my son to have a good education, nor do I see a problem with that.

And if the people who are offering to fund your life (house, schooling, etc) are willing to do it without strings, that is brilliant.

If the money comes at the cost of letting other people control your life, it's not worth it. You might put up with it because they are your blood relations but don't expect your wife to enjoy having the rich in-laws dictating how her life should be run.

AlexLK

Mojisola wrote: »

And if the people who are offering to fund your life (house, schooling, etc) are willing to do it without strings, that is brilliant.

If the money comes at the cost of letting other people control your life, it's not worth it. You might put up with it because they are your blood relations but don't expect your wife to enjoy having the rich in-laws dictating how her life should be run.

I'd never be so lucky as to have a wife who would in anyway let anybody else be "in control" of our lives.

Mojisola

AlexLK wrote: »

They would be very angry if we simply sold the house and moved on, nor would they want us to change it

AlexLK wrote: »

I'd never be so lucky as to have a wife who would in anyway let anybody else be "in control" of our lives.

In that case, it sounds as if moving into the big house just isn't an option.

AlexLK

Yes, because EVERYTHING has got to be about what my wife wants, now, hasn't it?

Mojisola

AlexLK wrote: »

Yes, because EVERYTHING has got to be about what my wife wants, now, hasn't it?

Did anyone say that?

Marriage is a partnership and decisions should be made jointly.

heartbreak_star

It does seem like you want to please your parents more than your wife, and she wants to be her own woman as well as part of a marriage.

You need to talk...and when you think you've finished, talk some more.

HBS x

lostinrates

AlexLK wrote: »

Yes, because EVERYTHING has got to be about what my wife wants, now, hasn't it?

I am afraid if I have 'met' you on the boards before I haven't remembered you. So i come to this with fresh eyes. By coincidence, this morning I saw some of your debt free diary as it was on the front page.

All I want to say is, I think, at least at this time this is a resoundingly bad idea. For your wife, very importantly for your son, but also, compellingly for you.

The question is how much are you like your parents and swayed by the 'status' the house might give you rather than setting things right financially, emotionally and health wise before seeing at a later date if progress alone on a different path or perhaps considering this would be more feasible?