Parents want to do a "House Swap".

Person_one

AlexLK wrote: »

Yes, the village school is an option. However, my parents want him to go to the schools I went to and as I had a great childhood there, I am not about to complain when they are willing to fund it. Wife has different ideas though.

Do you listen to your wife's views? Does she have an equal say in this relationship?

She doesn't want to move into your parents' house, she doesn't want the children privately educated, but you don't seem particularly bothered about her objections!

barbarawright

AlexLK wrote: »

Yes, the village school is an option. However, my parents want him to go to the schools I went to and as I had a great childhood there, I am not about to complain when they are willing to fund it. Wife has different ideas though.

So you're giving your son a different education from what your wife wants because your parents are pressuring you. How does she feel about the house-swap? BTW are you still saving £500 a month for your pre-school son? If you stopped doing that, couldn't you live anywhere you want?

Seanymph

Why dont' they put it in trust for your children with the clause that your wife and yourself can live it in?

Then you can allow them to live in it until such time as they no longer want to (or can't)

the house will be ringfenced and safe for their grandchildren - and you have the benefit of it during your lifetime.

Seanymph

I have to say, after about 30 seconds of consideration - it's unusual for families who are well off enough to fund private education - family home work 1mil not to have a more clued up attitude to finance preservation.

Presumably your parents have some sort of investment or financial advisor, a solicitor on retainer - they need to talk to them, rather than you talking to unknowns on the internet.

But I still say in trust for grandchildren would be the way to go.

Better_Days

Like Person_one I am concerned by your wife's objections - both to the house swap idea and the plans for your sons education. I can certainly see how your wife could feel that after the swap the house wasn't really hers, especially as your parents aren't that fond of her.

My brothers partners parents (sounds like a French language test I know) inherited a property from one of the grandfathers, which they gifted to my brothers partner. The property needs a lot doing to it, including some structural work. But they are interfering at every step of the way, and denying that there are any structural problems, and insisting that the structural work is a waste of money. They want to dictate the style of the new kitchen and decoration in the property. My brothers partner doesn't want to seem ungrateful and my brother feels he has no say in his home. The renovations are to be partly funded by capital from my brother. It is a dreadful mess.

So my question is OP - could your parents let go if you do this 'house swap' or would the swap come with strings attached? If so you may be able to tolerate the strings, they are after all your parents, but it may put an intolerable strain on the relationship with your wife.

AlexLK

CFC - Yes, I suppose it is something like that.

Person_One - Of course my wife has a say. Though she does not know the benefits of a private education.

barbarawright - We still put money away for our son, yes.

Seany - Well, my parents are clued up, when the time comes they'll know what to do re. tax etc. Sorry I didn't make that more clear. It's me without a clue and a dilemma that goes beyond money.

Better Days - thank you, you've gave me a lot to think about.

Mojisola

I think this may ultimately be a choice between the house and the wife.

Which is more important to you?

tea_lover

AlexLK wrote: »

Person_One - Of course my wife has a say. Though she does not know the benefits of a private education.

Or is that just your answer for when she doesn't agree with you? Doesn't want son to go to private school - doesn't know the benefits of private education. Doesn't want to live in your parents' house - doesn't know the benefits of an inherited family home.

Carry on like this and I think you might be living in your parents' house without your wife and son for company.

AlexLK

Mojisola wrote: »

I think this may ultimately be a choice between the house and the wife.

Which is more important to you?

It's not really like that, I'm not about to leave her over the house.

tea_lover wrote: »

Or is that just your answer for when she doesn't agree with you? Doesn't want son to go to private school - doesn't know the benefits of private education. Doesn't want to live in your parents' house - doesn't know the benefits of an inherited family home.

Carry on like this and I think you might be living in your parents' house without your wife and son for company.

No it is not an "answer for when she disagrees with me", nor is she perfect either.

Mojisola

I hope you come over differently in real life because on here it sounds as if your parents' wishes are your priority.