Parents want to do a "House Swap".

sulkisu

AlexLK wrote: »

CFC - Yes, I suppose it is something like that.

Person_One - Of course my wife has a say. Though she does not know the benefits of a private education.

barbarawright - We still put money away for our son, yes.

Seany - Well, my parents are clued up, when the time comes they'll know what to do re. tax etc. Sorry I didn't make that more clear. It's me without a clue and a dilemma that goes beyond money.

Better Days - thank you, you've gave me a lot to think about.

Oh dear. Those two lines speak volumes, and I am betting that you haven't got a clue what I mean by that!

My 'state educated brain' predicts that you will go ahead with the swap and will eventually end up living in that house all by yourself.

sulkisu

AlexLK wrote: »

I'd never be so lucky as to have a wife who would in anyway let anybody else be "in control" of our lives.

Surely you meant to say 'unlucky'?

Then again, perhaps not .

Clutterfree

If you are already in debt just running a small home, how on earth will you be able to afford the upkeep of a million pound house?

Why do you have to live in it now?
Can they not sign it over to you and your son with a clause that they can live there for the rest of their lives?
Then you and your family can move in once they've gone. Your wife can make it her own without fear of the in-laws interfering and, from your inheritance, you will have enough money to afford to live there.

I think they need to consult a solicitor because if they die within seven years or need to go into a care home, then it opens up a huge can of worms.

Mojisola

Clutterfree wrote: »

Can they not sign it over to you and your son with a clause that they can live there for the rest of their lives?

Because that's a gift with reservation and the value of the property will still count as part of the estate when sorting out IHT.

Clutterfree

Mojisola wrote: »

Because that's a gift with reservation and the value of the property will still count as part of the estate when sorting out IHT.

Thanks. I didn't realise that.
Still don't think he an afford to live there now, though.

Toothfairy4

My DH grew up in a similar situation. Parents are 'new money', he was off to boarding school at 10 years old and although he got a good education he had a pretty terrible time there. I went to a 'normal' state school, parents not well off, and have had just as good an education as him.

Thankfully his parents have sold their £1,000,000+ house and moved into one for half the value so they can spend their retirement enjoying their money. If not i could've seen myself being in the OP's wife's situation which i would not have wanted at all, especially with the 'you can have the house but cannot sell or change it' clauses.

I know we are so much happier in our £150,000 house with (a little bit of) spare cash to go out and enjoy ourselves than killing ourselves trying to pay for the upkeep of a massive house. I can imagine just maintaining the garden on their old house would've cost us more than it does to heat our house now :eek:

AlexLK

Thank you everybody for all the advice. So far as my parents go, they are seeking advice regarding tax.

If I'm truthful, I would like to move to the house and could make it "home". The problem is my wife and also if she ends up divorcing me (we are not exactly happily married at the moment). Anyhow, that is a different matter.

mountainofdebt

AlexLK wrote: »

If I'm truthful, I would like to move to the house and could make it "home". The problem is my wife and also if she ends up divorcing me (we are not exactly happily married at the moment). Anyhow, that is a different matter.

No Alex its not a different matter - its all part and parcel of the same problem.

Your parents are muscling in on your family life - first by suggesting the unaffordable house swap and then by offering to pay for your son's private education ('which your wife is so thick she just doesn't get') so long as they can choose the school.

Man up......are you playing at being married or are you serious about it?

AlexLK

mountainofdebt: I'm more serious about my marriage than my wife is. As for my parents, they are trying to help. However, if I'm honest they don't really want me to have anything due to my "irresponsibility".

merlot123

You have debts in the excess of 30k, has your credit score been affected, are you paying at least the minimum payment on all the debts, otherwise how do you think you will be able to get a mortgage unless you can port your existing one?