Parents want to do a "House Swap".

AlexLK

I'm sorry but I disagree with that being my parents' only child, no matter what has happened in the past I feel a duty to them.

Hermia

AlexLK wrote: »

I'm sorry but I disagree with that being my parents' only child, no matter what has happened in the past I feel a duty to them.

Surely your wife and child must come first though? And surely loving parents would want their son to be loyal to his spouse. When you marry you transfer that loyalty surely? I am an only child and it is true that you have a strong tie to your parents, but not to the extent that your life is completely entangled with theirs forever. Personally, I would not want a house like that hanging around my neck for the rest of my life. I would want to sell a house any time I please without worrying about upsetting the parents.

barbarawright

AlexLK wrote: »

I'm sorry but I disagree with that being my parents' only child, no matter what has happened in the past I feel a duty to them.

Where do your wife's family fit into all this? Or are they not so important because they didn't go to the right sort of school and don't have as much money as your parents?

Molly41

His wife's family are "scummies" according to Alex's mother - as stated in Alex's other thread in Debt Free Diaries:eek::eek::eek:

Lunar_Eclipse

AlexLK wrote: »

My wife is somebody who would like to look back and feel she'd "made it" on her own.

The local (state) village school has 45 pupils.

Village school sounds perfect!

I can relate to the former, but I also think most people have completely the wrong idea about success in life and thus what 'making it' actually means. It's also different for each of us. However, don't make the mistake of thinking it's about assets and status, instead of people. Would anyone choose a failed marriage in a large expensive house over a loved up happy life in a shack? I doubt it.

Also, I can understand your loyalty to your parents as an only child, but it must be infuriating for your wife. Health aside, your parents will probably want you to be a good husband and father above all else, so just be clear in your own mind about your priorities.

Lunar_Eclipse

barbarawright wrote: »

Where do your wife's family fit into all this? Or are they not so important because they didn't go to the right sort of school and don't have as much money as your parents?

I think that's an inflammatory and unhelpful comment (although I can see why you might think there's some truth to it.)

Who cares what anyone thinks of his wife's family? A marriage is between two people and only two people. It's not ideal if anyone is looking down on anyone else within the wider family, but this is where I believe in love being able to conquer all.

If the OP came from old money, or a very privileged background (that's not my interpretation) then perhaps it's a naive view, but in this case it sounds more like people not liking others, as people. I haven't read any other threads though, so could be completely wrong.

Molly41

No Alex's parents dont like the wife's parents as they felt he had married beneath him.

barbarawright

AlexLK wrote: »

CFC - Yes, I suppose it is something like that.

Person_One - Of course my wife has a say. Though she does not know the benefits of a private education.

Given that your wife earns a lot more than you and has got to this position without the benefits of a private education or endless handouts from her 'scummy' parents, she may well be thinking that you don't know the benefits of a private education. I wish you well, I really do, but it seems clear that you have no intention of living independently from your parents and you want the same thing for your son.

HapPea

Are your parents going to pay for the SDLT and other moving/purchase costs? Irrespective of the price your parents ask you to pay/swap, with a true value of £1m+ these will be high.

Prothet_of_Doom

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Emotionally, Alex, it's another thing they have to lord over you, IMO.

HBS x

This sentiment is the reeason that I've never owned a new car. My Gran, offered to buy me a brand new car when I graduated, and my sister persuaded me that she'd hold it over me emotionally forever.

I was a bit gullible, and realised much later that actually my sister had a very poor relationship with our gran, and gran would have done nothing of the sort, and it turned out she was a little confused by me turning down her kind offer.

To the OP.