How much to pay mum in rent?

candygirl

Another idea OP.You could treat them to a meal out or takeaway every now and again.Glad you've reached a solution anyway:D

Soleil_lune

Don't apologise Brooklyn: you know what they say 'you can't please all the people ALL the time. If people are offended, that's their problem. If they call you names/insult your character based on ONE post making a general enquiry, then that says a lot more about them than it says about you.

Glad you got it sorted anyway

paulineb_2

brooklyn07 wrote: »

wow - i seem to have offended a lot of people by this post - this was not the intention, I genuinely did not think i was being disrepsectful or cheeky by offering that amount and all i wanted was a yes thats ok, or no thats not enough - i really didnt expect a bashing to go along with it.

I've been through a very rough time - i wont bore you with the details but thats the reason i moved back home.

I don't have any choice but to do my own washing - this is what my mum wants so this is what i do.

The water is heated by the wood fire -not practical for all year around i know but not my house.

The reason i go around turning things off is becuase this was one of the things my mum was moaning about that she thought the electric bill was rediculously high - was just trying to help, dont see why turning the tv off thats left on all day long with no one watching it is a bad thing.

My mum works - so no one is home all day but all the electricals are left on.

I have offered to buy an energy monitor as mum thinks the tv and computer being left on all day and night wont have contributed to the high bills, but again she wants to reduce these bills so only trying to help.

I asked how much she wants me to contribute and she just keeps saying she doesnt know - i offered £50 a week, her response was "dont be so rediculous you are hardly ever here i cant expect you to pay that much"
i cant seem to win!

Anywhooo after her mulling it over for a few days shes decided she would like £32 a week...i have offered more she has said no....

If she wants £32 and you can afford £50, Id give her £40, if she wants to spend the extra £8 a week on herself, fine.

meritaten

I don't understand why people are saying 'if your parents took in a lodger' or 'whats the rent in the area'?. It doesn't apply - she has moved back with parents and wants to pay a reasonable amount towards her keep to help parents out. I think you need to sit down with them and both explain their positions. then come to a compromise - because I don't think either is going to be 'happy'.
if parents want to charge the going rate then she may as well get her own place - if OP wants to live virtually cost free then she isn't going to be happy either!
could you meet in the middle?

claire16c

Glad you've come to an agreement OP. I don't see what was wrong with you turning off TVs etc if no one was even in the house that's just common sense!

paulineb_2

meritaten wrote: »

I don't understand why people are saying 'if your parents took in a lodger' or 'whats the rent in the area'?. It doesn't apply - she has moved back with parents and wants to pay a reasonable amount towards her keep to help parents out. I think you need to sit down with them and both explain their positions. then come to a compromise - because I don't think either is going to be 'happy'.
if parents want to charge the going rate then she may as well get her own place - if OP wants to live virtually cost free then she isn't going to be happy either!
could you meet in the middle?

Ive said meet in the middle on more than one post in this thread, it makes sense.

rozmister

If my mum was struggling for money and I lived with her I'd pay for as much as I could afford and she'd let me. All three of her children (me, my brother and my sister) earn more than she earns and she spent years scraping to give us the best she could when we were growing up. When my brother paid £30 a week keep to her I was furious - his wages are practically double hers!!

If your mum and dad are struggling offer as much as you can whilst still saving, if it sets you back 2 extra months moving out then while that's annoying that's life. They're your mum and dad and they're family, you can't put a price on that. I know my Mum would send me her last fiver if I had no food in the cupboards and no cash in my purse and so I would always do the same for her, whether I have other things I'd prefer to spend that money on or not.

jellyhead

£32 seems fair enough if that's what your mum asked for ... you could tell her you're willing to raise the amount if she asks.

I'm given £44 off my teenage lodger, and that's to cover food, lunches, clothes, toiletries and basically everything. I haven't worked out if it covers it yet because, well, if it doesn't I'm not going to chuck him out.

Betty_Crumble

Hi, just read through and I am glad you have sorted it, discussing money with anyone let alone parents is hard and that's maybe why your ma was a bit vague to start with. I personally think £32 is fair in the respect of you are family and you are not a financial burden as such. It's hard to put a price on something that is already there (the room) when its purpose is not for a lodger initially. I feel that once you move back out they may have to address the electricity usage as it won't be going down if they are the primary cause of the cost and I would pay my son if he only had the 'turning stuff off' gene lol.
I've seen family take the absolute !!!! when it has come to letting someone stay, a friend sleeps on her cousins sofa for £120 4 weekly, she then gets asked for money for electricity and gas, buys her own food (that gets used by all) and then when the cousin goes food shopping she insists of half of that too. This means she has nearly zero chance of saving to get out yet her cousin says she is doing her a favor, not my idea of one to be honest.
My son pays £37.50 pw, paid 4 weekly as is his wages. Out of that meals are provided if he wants to eat with us and no food is off limits. Washing is done if its in the basket and he does his own if it hasn't walked there. I make packed lunches for the 4 weekdays he works and he sorts himself out on a Saturday at work. He may request something specific when I/we go shopping and if its within my budget then i'll get it if not he will (I dont go over my budget for no one lol) He meets me from work on a Friday with 'Friday treat' which is a mocha with cream from Starbucks and I think this is sweet as it's apart from the money and kinda shows appreciation. Earlier this year he paid £120 but when several utilities raised their prices we upped it to £140 then when the broadband contract came to an end he wanted fiber optic which was £10 more so he covered that as that's what he wanted and that's how we are at £150. He also takes his sister to school 3 days a week saving me money on childcare which I offset with 'taxis'. I can't see that I could be any fairer than that however that is because we are related, I may feel somewhat different and apply different measures for calculating board if I took in a lodger. Just me doesn't mean it's right. Good luck with the savings.