How much to pay mum in rent?

paulineb_2

pink_princess wrote: »

I can't see it being not wasteful if there is an alternative.

One full load of washing rather than a half load etc is surely the most economical.

I agree, if someone is doing extra washings, this will be adding to the high electricity bill the OP is talking about.

Also, Im not sure if the OPs parents pay a mortgage or rent but if the OPs parents are on benefit and they have someone at home who is working, this will affect the amount of rent they need to pay, I have a friend who is on ESA and her son works and she has to pay some rent as he is earning. He also pays some bills for her as well, even though he spends most of his time elsewhere, however she pays things for her daughter, who isnt working at the moment.

Theres no set way to approach this. Just that if someone can afford to pay £40 a week rather than £25 if the family are in financial trouble, well all I can say is, I know how much my mum did for me when I was growing up and if she did hit a rough patch and she was struggling and I had anything to give her, it would be given without question.

Some parents would have been taking rent from the minute the OP moved back in. Theyve saved you money, they are still saving you money. There are few places where you could get lodgings for £25 a week and I appreciate its different in different geographical areas.

An honest conversation is needed, but so is some practical support and yes it may be that the OP doesnt really want to be there and cant wait to get their own home and thats fine, because people need their own space.

But there is an alternative, if you dont want to pay more than £25 a week and your parents arent happy with that, you could find somewhere else temporary to rent until youve saved the deposit for your flat/house.

adindas

brooklyn07 wrote: »

I offered £25 a week as i was going off how much my bills cost me in my previous place for electric and water but as mentioned there is no gas at my mums and heating is done via wood burning which is free for them.

Lol, You are very smart little girl. It works if you were doing business with someone else but with your mum/dad the the accounting should not be like that. As mentioned by other people £25 is disrespectful. People might except this if you were on minimum wage. But people on minimum wage should not consider of taking mortgage they could not effort.

IMHO The factor you will need to consider to determine the final sum:

- Keep in mind your main reason to move e.g saving deposit for mortgage.
- If you were living anywhere else you would still need to pay your own rent and your utility bill
- You have moral obligation to assist mum/dad as from the sound of your posting you said one of them is struggling.
- Your parent is already helping you saving money for deposit.

When you arrive to the final sum

- It shall be much lower than then the market price as there is not any opportunity cost here to consider. If you were not there they will be in the same situation as they will not let the room to a stranger.
- Living there allow you to save money for mortgage deposit. So the final figure shall reflect this.

From the sound from your message it seems that you are diverting the issue of rent vs wasting energy. This should be seen as a separate issue of educating them. You have done your part of educating them turn off the light equipments wherever you could. You can not take the punishment into consideration in determine the final sum as punishment and rent is different issue. Think about if you were a lodger and the landlady did not want to listen your advice of reducing energy bill there is nothing else you could do. And certainly you could not reduce your rent based on this. Also from your postings you never pronounce and make the condition of your monthly contribution to be connected to the monthly sum. So reducing the sum based on this is irrelevant here.

Good luck with accounting little girl, let us know how is it going ...

FBaby

It seems as if you are living more like a lodger than a family member.

And? Maybe that's exactly what the parents wanted. Maybe they didn't want more intrusion in their lives and were happy to have their daughter back on the principle that she didn't change their lives too much.

They told her that she didn't need to pay anything. Maybe they could have been clearer and stipulate that this applied only up to her stopping to pay her mortgage, or that they might have to ask for something if their financial situation was to change. If their requesting something now is because they have seen more of an increase in their bills then expected, then surely the onus is on them to show that and ask OP to pay the difference rather than asking for a random amount and then not being happy with OP assessment of her costs.

I think it is a bit easy to say 'we don't want anything', to then saying 'actually we do want something, what can you give' to 'you got to be kidding, that's not enough'.

ash28

brooklyn07 wrote: »

Thanks all.


Their electric bill is £100 a month which seems really high in comparison to what i used to use!
I just feel like they are trying to get me to contribute to their high bill when they wont change their lifestyle by trying to cut back and just thought it was a little unfair seeing as i was completely the opposite when i lived at my other place.

I did say last night that they should perhaps start cutting back by stop leaving the computer, tv and lights on but the response was "those things dont use much electricity"....

I take it your parents have an electric hob and oven? So do we....we have no mains gas either and our electric bills are £80 a month, we have energy saving bulbs and LED bulbs. How do your parents heat water? Ours is heated by the oil boiler (we have oil central heating). Unless they run their hot water using a wood burning stove (not practical for year round use) they must have a supplementary form of water heater.....an immersion heater?

Is your mother at home all day? We are early retired and are in the house most of the time and obviously it is more expensive to be in the house as opposed to being out at work all day. More cups of tea....tv on all day....computer on all day.....ours go into power save mode after a couple of minutes of not being used, we like to think of ourselves as fairly moneysaving but refuse to sit in the dark or cold wrapped in duvets.....and limit ourselves to a couple of hot drinks between the hours of 08:00 and 17:00

If she is at home all day then it will be more expensive to heat and light the house than it would be if she were at work all day...... we have 2 laptops going (me and OH), a light on in the study (OH) and a light on in the kitchen (me), the tv is on in the living room - grandson is watching it....

hardpressed

Has your mum said how much she would like you to contribute?

ash28

FBaby wrote: »

And? Maybe that's exactly what the parents wanted. Maybe they didn't want more intrusion in their lives and were happy to have their daughter back on the principle that she didn't change their lives too much.

They told her that she didn't need to pay anything. Maybe they could have been clearer and stipulate that this applied only up to her stopping to pay her mortgage, or that they might have to ask for something if their financial situation was to change. If their requesting something now is because they have seen more of an increase in their bills then expected, then surely the onus is on them to show that and ask OP to pay the difference rather than asking for a random amount and then not being happy with OP assessment of her costs.

I think it is a bit easy to say 'we don't want anything', to then saying 'actually we do want something, what can you give' to 'you got to be kidding, that's not enough'.

Perhaps her parents should have laid out the ground rules...though the OP finished paying her mortgage in August.

OP said her father was struggling with work....so it would seem her parents have had a drop in income....if she wasn't there then they would just have to get on with it and manage as best they could.

However a third person in a house who does their own washing and cooking will add to the cost of running the house......the OP never said she didn't want to pay anything but the amount she suggested seemed too low to her mother.....and asked what people thought was an acceptable amount....her mother needs to tell her how much she had in mind.

If that amount is unacceptable to the OP then she has a choice.....she doesn't have to live there and subsidise their profligate energy use.

As an adult who has been in a similar situation (years ago), I had absolutely no qualms about paying more to help my parents out during what turned out to be a pretty tough time for them....I couldn't have lived with myself if I hadn't. But each to their own.

duchy

If they are all electric £100 a month is pretty good for a three bedroom house. Quite how you are comparing usage in a flat for one person (out at work all day) versus a house with greater area to light and heat (and people home in the day) defeats me.

You do sound a bit immature and controlling following them around the house turning lights off..........on one hand you want to be treated like a lodger but you wouldn't follow your landlady around her house turning off lights and lecturing her....would you ?

Soleil_lune

adindas wrote: »

Lol, You are very smart little girl. It works if you were doing business with someone else but with your mum/dad the the accounting should not be like that. As mentioned by other people £25 is disrespectful. People might except this if you were on minimum wage. But people on minimum wage should not consider of taking mortgage they could not effort.

Good luck with accounting little girl, let us know how is it going ..

WOW, patronising much! No need to talk to her like she is a moron. Most posts have been helpful and informative; explaining that doing everything 'separately' is more costly, and that £25 a week, is not that much, especially as the parents need help right now. There is really no need for that condescending and sarcastic tone?

I go back to what I said: £35 to £40 a week, or about 25% of your salary.

adindas

Soleil_lune wrote: »

I go back to what I said: £35 to £40 a week, or about 25% of your salary.

In my post I am writing about various factors to be considered to arrive to the final figure that will normal be used in the rational decision making.

From the tone of your post above you sounds like more patronizing.
Where did you get the magic figure £35 to £40 a week, or about 25% of your salary if you do not get any detail info ?

All of the info is about utility bills/energy which is just one factor in the decision making.
Did you get info about the salary ?
Did you know how much the rent market price ?

If the OP is earning say £2400 net it is unfair to ask her/him to pay £600 as people will definitely not be able to use the market price as there is not any opportunity cost here. Meanwhile £35-£45 will be too low ...

claire16c

duchy wrote: »

If they are all electric £100 a month is pretty good for a three bedroom house. Quite how you are comparing usage in a flat for one person (out at work all day) versus a house with greater area to light and heat (and people home in the day) defeats me.

You do sound a bit immature and controlling following them around the house turning lights off..........on one hand you want to be treated like a lodger but you wouldn't follow your landlady around her house turning off lights and lecturing her....would you ?

Probably not - unless it was causing her to struggle and ask you for more cash!