The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

Peonie

I am such an idiot. Today AF turned up with vengeance a day early. Why would I even consider that this time would be different. I came home, went straight upstairs and sobbed. Calling it a chemical pregnancy made no difference at all.

Tomorrow morning I'll phone the hospital and book myself in for IVF this month. CD23 is on the 30th November - not long to go.

I too said CD rather than cycle day to the IVF nurse and she also did not know what I meant.

time2deal

huge hugs peonie. It hard cause we can't help but hope. It's a horrible up and down cycle.

Whattodonow

Hugs peonie, but here's hoping you're one cycle closer to getting your bubs xxx

It's ov time for me, so obviously I have fallen out with OH. Harrumph.

Part_Mouse

Angle and peonie hugs to you both.

What's up with evenings and feeling sad.

vesper

Part_Mouse wrote: »

Angle and peonie hugs to you both.

What's up with evenings and feeling sad.

There's one thing worse than an evening for feeling down, it's a Friday evening.

Making my self feel better by listening to the metal music but trying desperately to keep away from the nasty xmas goodies that I hid in the cupboard earlier.

Feeling very lost at the moment, in a complete limbo. Mostly as thinking back to my first Doctor's appointment and him saying there was obviously something wrong after trying for so long. But no idea when we will get an appointment so stuck in limbo. I don't feel like a belong on the other thread anymore, but feel like I can't contribute to this one at the moment. Hate hate hate limbo, it's like an extremely long 2ww.

Expecting AF to turn up tomorrow, cue huge sobbing fit in the car earlier, feeling like a failure, so so long of trying, same every month, too many facebook baby pictures and more 'you aren't a person until you're a mum' status'.
Hasn't really helped that all of my friends have gone off on a girlie weekend to London. I couldn't go as just can't afford it at the moment as my earnings go back into my business to help build it up.

Part_Mouse

Vesper sorry to hear you couldn't go with them, building up your business sounds great though, what are you doing?

It's almost 7 years now since we stopped using contraception, depressing or what. Hubby is having a lie in some I'm having cat cuddles.

Slinky_Selina

Hi All, just popping in for what seems like my monthly check-in
Hope everyone is well and things are going ok.

I'm trying hard to be sensitive so please dont read the rest of this bit if issues to do with AF are sensitive for you.
AF is here and its the best news we've had in quite a long time! Odd that may seem to some but the last time I had a 'natural' period was April, they basically just stopped along with me finding out my thyroid levels were 32 when optimally they should be between 0.3 and 3.0. 6 months on they are 15 which is still nowhere near good enough.

We went to the specialist 2 weeks ago and a 21 day test I had in August I had a FSH level of 2 and a Serum LH level of 1 and I have no idea what that means. It appears I may have hypogonadotropic hypogonadism which looks like its linked to my thyroid as well.

Of course my BMI being over 40 still doesnt help However things appear to be going the right way and now me and the OH will be DTD a lot more often!

vesper

Part_Mouse wrote: »

Vesper sorry to hear you couldn't go with them, building up your business sounds great though, what are you doing?

It's almost 7 years now since we stopped using contraception, depressing or what. Hubby is having a lie in some I'm having cat cuddles.

I have a business selling models items (toy model items) can't go into too much detail as it'll make it very obvious who I am if someone looks on the net.
Started it out at xmas to make some money for phone and petrol, now its turned into an almost full time job.

Know what you mean about how long since using contraception, mines now over 10 years. I didn't have a clue what my friends were going on about when they were discussing contraception last week.

time2deal

Happy weekend ladies!

I sorry people are all a bit down, this whole process takes it out of you. I can't believe its been well over 3 years of trying, without a hint of a BFP - just the same process over and over.

But I have to admit that today I'm feeling quite good. Bit headachy, but other than that no real symptoms from the stimms, except for a nice boost in libido!

I doing that stupid thing of starting to imagine how I will tell people I'm pregnant. I stop myself as soon as I realise, but I end up drifting back to it when I'm relaxed. Got to stop that.

Next scan on Tuesday, so really really hope the news is good.

SS:

Doesn't this:

Slinky_Selina wrote: »

out my thyroid levels were 32 when optimally they should be between 0.3 and 3.0. 6 months on they are 15 which is still nowhere near good enough.

explain this:

Slinky_Selina wrote: »

Of course my BMI being over 40 still doesnt help !

I've just been told my thyroid levels are a bit low, which may explain why my natural BMI seems to be about 31-32. I can lose a bit of weight, but it's sooo hard, and so unrewarding. Apparently the thyroid medication makes it easier to lose weight. Or rather, it makes you lose weight like a normal person - rather than having to fight ten times harder for every kg, and then have the weight leap back on the moment you look at a chip!

bigmomma051204

Hi all..... am kind of cross posting with other trying thread as i like being on the lists on there, despite it being pointless and rather upsetting... so dunno why i do it to myself really LOL.......I am CD3 today i had a 27 day cycle ( i seem to fluctuate between 26 days and 28 days... each months which is pretty normal i guess..) - went to gp appt on Wednesday for day 21 bloods results - all normal. She said that combined with the fact that i had positive OPK (clearblue digi too so a definite rather than confusing IC) means not much point doing CD 2/3 bloods as i am obviously ovulating etc - plus have 26-28 cycles so pretty much as it should be.

So yeah... she re-iterated that there would be no financial help for us because i already have my son (despite OH having no bio children of his own.... grrrrrrrrrr but hey ho just how it is eh?!) but suggested that because OH has no children and had no pregnancies with him, it may be his fault. Which i REALLY didnt want it to be because it scares me :cool: I love him of course and will of course be with him forever (i hope!) but SO hard to imagine no more babies ever...... plus i have such a complicated gynae history i was expecting it to be my fault and could have dealt with that better i think..... surprisingly though, he is totally up for going and doing the SA. :eek: Which surprised me! So gotta sort that out asap .....really thought he would be against doing it... he smokes like a trooper (well, not too bad - less than 10 a day but still "bad" in the grand scheme of things!) so havent yet told him that if the first lot comes back as being rubbish, they will probably make him give up for 3 months to do another test..... hmmm think thats probably when he will start resistance properly... oh why is it all so blooming hard :cool:

Oh meant to say - the blood test did flag up that my kidney function is below where it should be.... i have poly-cystic kidneys ... so gotta go be prodded for that possibly after another blood test in a couple of weeks ... GP didnt say that might be affecting fertility though so i am assuming it isnt...