The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

tinkwings

Thank you for the help advice ladies xxx

CD2 today so first day of clomid today .... Booked infor my scan of PCT on CD14..... They know I ov so been told unexplained fertility so been told trying clomid as "it's cheap" and may work in the words of my consultant !!! We would have to pay for IVF so worth a shot for 6 months in my book.

Hugs to all in need xxxxx

codemonkey

tea_lover wrote: »

I think I'm having a mid-life crisis (I blame turning 35!) :eek:

I hate my job, I'm really wondering if there's anything left in my relationship and I'm basically unsatisfied with life. Feel like I need some massive changes but where on earth do you start??

I got 99 problems but a !!!!! aint one. :rotfl: Sorry.

You're about to start another ICSI cycle soon aren't you? Probably best that you don't make any life changing choices until after then - minimising stress and all that. Although I sympathise. I hate my job too and I only hung on because of the maternity benefits - do get similar leave if we decide to adopt - but now I feel like I've been institutionalised to the public sector.

My ex-flatmate had a lot of CBT counselling and she taught me to draw a mind map of what you want - so you get a piece of paper and you draw yourself or something representing you in the middle, then around it you draw pictures of what you want from life, so for example, a bigger house, or a baby or a job in a particular sector or whatever. It's a bit cringey so best to hide it really, but it does help focus your mind as to what you want to change. And sitting down with pens to draw is fun.

tea_lover

*goes to find felt tips*

Should be starting ICSI in a couple of weeks (if I ever ovulate) so yeah, definitely not the time for huge life decisions but really starting to realise that I don't want another 40+ years of this.

Saw a great job this morning. Most of my problem work-wise is that I have no idea what I want to do. I hate what I'm doing, but without knowing what I'd prefer it's pretty difficult to change! The job I saw is pretty niche though, can't imagine seeing any more offers like that. There are other reasons (apart from IVF) why I couldn't apply for it though.... but it was great to see something that I actually wanted to do and I keep looking at it again.

OH has been ill this week (nothing major, bit of a stomach bug) and I've been ashamed by my reaction. It was the same when he was ill before christmas. All I can think of is how he abandoned me when I had the m/c. I don't want to look after him, ask him how he is, I struggle to even be polite tbh. It's ok the rest of the time but as soon as he's ill I just think "you selfish b******, how could you do that".

Clearly some unresolved anger there!

Should I even be doing IVF again? Maybe I should cancel it, split up with OH and go and work in a Romanian orphanage.

Clevernamehere

tea_lover wrote: »

I think I'm having a mid-life crisis (I blame turning 35!) :eek:

I hate my job, I'm really wondering if there's anything left in my relationship and I'm basically unsatisfied with life. Feel like I need some massive changes but where on earth do you start??

Hugs Tea.
I sometimes wonder what I'll do if the whole ttc thing doesn't work out. I don't think I could just plod on like I do now. I'd be tempted to backpack round India or something like that. I think we all put our lives on hold too much when ttc. "I can't plan x because I might be pregnant by then" "We can't spend money on x because we'll need it for baby stuff".

danielley

Clevernamehere wrote: »

Hugs Tea.
I sometimes wonder what I'll do if the whole ttc thing doesn't work out. I don't think I could just plod on like I do now. I'd be tempted to backpack round India or something like that. I think we all put our lives on hold too much when ttc. "I can't plan x because I might be pregnant by then" "We can't spend money on x because we'll need it for baby stuff".

We moved to a bigger house with a bigger mortgage because we needed more rooms & a garden for 'when we have kids'

If we can't / don't have kids, should we downsize and live in a funky flat somewhere and live hipster lifestyles or stay in suburbia watching our neighbours raise families ....

Part_Mouse

Hugs to all in need . On phone but gp appt didnt ho well. Its looking like its going to be months until i can get refered but first my case has to go to a panel of gp. My previous go hasnt sent my file so were stuck. New gp thinks my case will be rejected. I was rihht in the middle of treatnent and now nothing. I need to have another smear as my last was abnormal but cant stop bleeding.Gp cant give me anything more gor bleeding and not sure how much more i can cope with. Going to write to old my as im at a loss what to fo.

codemonkey

Part_Mouse wrote: »

Hugs to all in need . On phone but gp appt didnt ho well. Its looking like its going to be months until i can get refered but first my case has to go to a panel of gp. My previous go hasnt sent my file so were stuck. New gp thinks my case will be rejected. I was rihht in the middle of treatnent and now nothing. I need to have another smear as my last was abnormal but cant stop bleeding.Gp cant give me anything more gor bleeding and not sure how much more i can cope with. Going to write to old my as im at a loss what to fo.

That's really rubbish PM. Hugs.

Feeling pretty carppy today. Massive headache and I'm hungry but get heartburn whenever I eat anything.

tea_lover

Oh PM what a faff!! If you change GPs will it just be more of the same hassle do you think? I'd definitely be writing to my MP at this stage!

codemonkey wrote: »

Feeling pretty carppy today. Massive headache and I'm hungry but get heartburn whenever I eat anything.

I'm really hacked off at work (can you tell?!) and thought I'd earnt a hot sausage roll to cheer me up. Now I'm hacked off and feel sick :doh:

codemonkey

tea_lover wrote: »

Oh PM what a faff!! If you change GPs will it just be more of the same hassle do you think? I'd definitely be writing to my MP at this stage!



I'm really hacked off at work (can you tell?!) and thought I'd earnt a hot sausage roll to cheer me up. Now I'm hacked off and feel sick :doh:

I'd love a hot sausage roll, but since a bowl of porridge gave me raging heartburn, I think a sausage roll would actually kill me.

tea_lover

It really hasn't helped!