The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

MrsDavo

Code I'm so sorry for your news.

Can I be a total numpty though and ask why/how losing the testicle would mean no sex at all?

I do hope that you will get your baby. Bless your DH for saying you should leave him, it's such a hard time for both of you!

WTDN - excellent haul; take care of yourself!

T2D - that's good news, fingers crossed that Monday you have a great blast put back.

AFM - I'm a bit apprehensive about my appointment, only because I know the next step, another 3 months of clomid. But it's the stress of being on that that I'm not looking forward to. With the wedding coming up another 3 months of stress doesn't appeal. I've already imagined how pregnant I would be if the last round of clomid worked..... As much as I so want to be pregnant on my wedding day, I've enjoyed the last 3 months of just being me and OH, doing it when we wanted to not because we had to.

ETA - I had my smear and swabs done, so should know about those in the next week or two.

angeltreats

Code, nothing I can add to what everyone else has already said. I can understand your OH struggling with donation, I know mine would too, and I think I would struggle myself if the shoe was on the other foot. It's not easy. I truly hope you find some sort of resolution to this but I know that every single one of us here is so hopeful for you. You deserve so much for it all to work out.

T2D, still sending happy thoughts to your embies, it sounds very positive so far.

AFM I am back on the diet again, I said all along that I'd draw a line under all the pigging out after my uncle's funeral (I'm a total emotional eater) and now I need to sort myself out once and for all.

Whattodonow

Code take your time to decide what you want to do. I echo getting a second opinion - you never know x

Update from me
16/19 fertilised! ET on weds Trying my hardest (failing) not to get my hopes up!

time2deal

Awesome fertilization WTDN! If you are lucky you will get a good few to freeze so you can skip the stims phase if you have to go again.

Fingers crossed for lots of dividing going on now. You must have excellent quality eggs.

I had a bit of a strange moment today. Was by myself in the car, listening to music and singing along (very loudly, and out of tune) and suddenly found myself sobbing! From nothing... must be stress, and hormones, but just felt like a moment of uncomplicated happiness which I haven't had in so long. I sense I am really just a bundle of stress really, but smoothly sailing on the surface.

God Monday feels both a long way away and too soon.

codemonkey

Fluff - I'd definitely consider donor eggs and sperm but it's something DH has to be comfortable with too and at the moment, he's not. Hopefully he'll change his mind.

MrsDavo, I'm not sure how it all works but I'm guessing he would sort of be a eunuch and be unable to get an erection.

I've always said that I'd be ok with not having any kids, given time to come to terms with it. I'm so sad, and I feel like I'm grieving for the life I always pictured. There's no way we can make any kind of big decision at the moment.

Anyway, enough about me. I'm bored with me.

It's fabulous to have some great news in here, and I think the fertilisation happening left, right and centre is brilliant news. Fingers crossed for Monday for you T2D, and Wednesday for you WTDN.

bigmomma051204

Code ((hugs))


We finally heard from the (really disinterested) GP on Friday - Apparently DH's sperm is all okay. Lower count than it should be but still apparently enough to erm, do the job :cool:

Which is all good news apart from that we are 3years+ trying, sperm is "ok", I ovulate... so what the Hell is not working?! Gp are useless - They told DH his results but gave NO idea of further steps, what to do next etc. Didn't ask him to go do follow up test - despite the fact that he told them he has stopped smoking for the last week and plans to continue until we "hopefully" conceive :cool: You would THINK that they would therefore get a follow up test done to see if that improves the sperm count surely?? There has been no suggestion of a referral to anyone - GP said that there isn't anyone who especially deals with fertility in the NHS so nobody to refer to... which i am sure cant be right!? I have only had day 21 bloods done which they said were ok - could there be anything else effecting fertility other than ovulation and sperm production? Not sure what i mean lol!? Like ovulation occurs but then the egg doesn't get to where it should or something?! LOL sorry if i sound a divvy!! I just don't know what to do next! I rang the GP after they had spoken to DH and requested a GP appt for me, which is next Friday, but not sure what i am going to say to her and as we only get on average 6 mins in the room with dr (they are VERY strict and the buzzer sounds after 5mins to "warn" them to hurry up!) I am just fed up of everything going through the GP so having to wait every time for 2 or 3 weeks until the "next step" because of GP waiting times etc... Just feels we aren't getting anywhere, ever!

time2deal

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

... There has been no suggestion of a referral to anyone - GP said that there isn't anyone who especially deals with fertility in the NHS so nobody to refer to... which i am sure cant be right!? I have only had day 21 bloods done which they said were ok - could there be anything else effecting fertility other than ovulation and sperm production? Not sure what i mean lol!? Like ovulation occurs but then the egg doesn't get to where it should or something?! LOL sorry if i sound a divvy!! I just don't know what to do next! I rang the GP after they had spoken to DH and requested a GP appt for me, which is next Friday, but not sure what i am going to say to her and as we only get on average 6 mins in the room with dr (they are VERY strict and the buzzer sounds after 5mins to "warn" them to hurry up!) I am just fed up of everything going through the GP so having to wait every time for 2 or 3 weeks until the "next step" because of GP waiting times etc... Just feels we aren't getting anywhere, ever!

That is ridiculous! There is no one to refer to on the NHS?! Not sure who the imaginary people the rest of us have been seeing are then.

I think you need to do some NICE guideline searching. I don't know how, but I'm sure google can help. I think you need to go in to your appointment and be clear that you want to be referred to a fertility specialist. Tell them you aren't asking for IVF if they look a bit concerned, and say you just want a referral to a gynecologist who specialises in fertility.

There are other things. Like blocked tubes for one, which would mean the egg isn't getting to the right place. From what I've seen that's normally the next thing to check.

time2deal

http://www.nice.org.uk/nicemedia/live/14078/62769/62769.pdf

Page 17 and 18 talk about referrals, and also interesting things about what should be checked (prolactin, viruses, tubes).

How old are you bigmomma?

bigmomma051204

Thanks

I am 31yrs old :cool:

I fit into this "
there is a known clinical cause of infertility or a history of predisposing factors for
infertility
."

Because I only have one ovary, having had the other removed when i was 13yrs due to a ruptured ovarian cyst - I also have cysts on the remaining ovary (although interesting i have never had a formal diagnosis of "PCOS"....

time2deal

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

Thanks

I am 31yrs old :cool:

I fit into this "
there is a known clinical cause of infertility or a history of predisposing factors for
infertility
."

Because I only have one ovary, having had the other removed when i was 13yrs due to a ruptured ovarian cyst - I also have cysts on the remaining ovary (although interesting i have never had a formal diagnosis of "PCOS"....

31! You are so young, you've got plenty of time. Just relax and it will happen. Have you considered waggling your legs in the air after BD?

JOKING!!

Take the relevant sections with you, and say 'I don't want to waste this 5 minutes, so can you please give me a referral to a specialist.' I hate that GP's are like the guardians of access to specialists.

I think your young age makes it even more obvious that you should be referred. After 3 years two young people, having regular sex, should have had some luck. The fact you haven't means SOMETHING must be wrong. Good luck!