The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

time2deal

Welcome GlasweJen. You are welcome here of course! And the ladies here can provide lots of info and support during the IVF part of the cycle.

I looked into COTS too, and may have to use a surrogate in future, and the legalities of it scare me, but my clinic (in London) said they were more comfortable with it now. So I think you need to find a good lawyer, with experience in the issue, to support you. I wouldn't try to DIY - the potential downsides are too horrific to imagine.

I thought COTS wasn't taking new registrations? I posted on there early in the year and my thread never got approved so I gave up.

Don't discount NHS by the way. Hopefully, given enough pushing, your heart condition would qualify for IVF support. 'Infertility' is diagnosed when you have tried for 2 years with no luck - regardless of whether or not they find a cause. Plus the private clinics normally take NHS patients, so you will get the same treatment. It may be that you can choose from a few hospitals, although it depends where you are of course, and I'm not sure if the Scottish process is the same.

But, generally, just welcome to this group! There's (sadly) so much experience and support here hopefully it will make a tough experience a bit better.

isla_red

Welcome glaswejen!

Belated Merry Christmas and hugs to everyone who needs them just now. This time of year is so difficult and I've been fending off the "and when will YOU have a family?" In between power cuts! Sorry for being so AWOL and hope you don't mind me dipping in and out when I can.

We had a hospital appointment just before Christmas where me and DH had blood tests and I had some swabs done. We have our first hour long appointment to go through the next steps for ICSI in mid-Jan and I am absolutely terrified going through all the paperwork. I know it'll all be worth it but for the first time I'm really understanding what it all will entail physically and emotionally.

(I know I'm stating the obvious!)

time2deal

Grrr... why do I get my hopes up when I know things just don't ever work as planned! I am simply waiting for AF to show up, and it seems like she has decided to disappear.

I'm getting AF cramps and headaches, but no blood, which means it may be blocked in again. All I needed was a normal period and I could start IVF. Sigh.. I promised myself that we would always expect the worst and not get our hopes up after last time, but I had thought we would at least get to start.

And yes, I've tested, foolishly. It's not a miracle BFP - its a stupid on-going nightmare of simply not being able to bleed properly. I'm getting a teeny tiny bit of old looking blood, which is maybe leaking through but nothing more. sigh.

I have a scan booked for 2 Jan, which was supposed to be after AF to make sure all the blood had cleared. I guess I'll go ahead with it now, just to see what is going on.

Part_Mouse

T2d hugs to you.what very frustrating situation your in.

SewIt_2

Welcome Glasgowjen! I'm in Glasgow too so shout if you have any questions about the nhs in Scotland.

T2D - big hugs, hoping it's just slow to get started. X

PM - how you feeling today? Got a date for your fs appointment? X

Nice to see you again isla. X

Hi to everyone else xx

codemonkey

T2D massive hugs. It must be so frustrating. I wish I could make it better for you.

GlasweJen - welcome. I can't really help, as we will find out if we can do IVF next year, but I've found this thread so helpful in knowing what to expect from the physical and mental perspectives. Also, they've all been so helpful in dealing with the emotional aspects and the stupid waiting around.

We're not doing anything tonight as I hate Hogmanay (bars are packed, prices are high, getting home is impossible and everyone is under pressure to have the best night ever, and nobody ever does), but hope everyone has a great night. Goodbye crappy 2013 and here's to a bright and BFP filled New Year. :beer:

mrshappy

Just popping in to wish you all the very best for 2014, and I hope that your TTC journeys have a happy outcome. You have been my lifesavers over the last couple of years.

GlasweJen-I am also in Glasgow and have had treatment at the Nuffield if I can be of any help, I know nothing about surrogacy though x

Part_Mouse

Sewit how are you? Im ok thanks bleeding very heavy no appt either. Will have to call her when shes back.

Code were not going out either.i hope 2014 is kinder to us all.

GlasweJen

Hi mrs happy we were looking at using the nuffield- how did you find them?

time2deal I registered with COTS a bit over 2 years ago when we found out my heart hadn't taken well and I'd not cope with a pregnancy, they suggested counselling as I took it pretty bad so with that and then trying to get the money behind us it's been a long journey to this starting line. I didn't know that they'd stopped taking new members, have you followed up with them? They were very helpful with us even when it was clear that we weren't going to be needing a lady straight away.

I need to change GP I think, mine won't even refer me for genetic counselling and my amazing doctor from before retired leaving a bunch of locums who just shrug their shoulders. Or do you think my cardiologist could refer me? He's the one who is adamant I never come off contraception so he might have more sway with things. I'm not being cheap but saving £5k would be very welcome!

Thank you all for the welcome, I'd say it individually but I'm posting from my phone

Whattodonow

I would deffo push for some NHS help Glaswejen. Surely due to your condition and heart problems there is no way you could have a baby 'naturally' so I don't see why you can't get help like everyone else x