The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

Part_Mouse

Vesper I guess it's different if you don't know you have a problem. We've been trying for years but have always known I have a prob, just didn't know about my other probs and dh probs.doh.

Wonder_Woman

Code I'm so so sorry that you had such carp news today, that is very tough. Even though you had researched must still be a shock to have it confirmed. Sending you and DH huge virtual hugs xxx

SewIt our embie didn't make it, was not of good enough quality to freeze.

Whattodonow

hugs code & ww for your little embie xx

Had to go xmas shopping today for various baby/kid's clothes. Unexpectedly really got to me. Can't shake off this gloominess and think I'll just have to sleep on it.

Peonie

I'm sorry code. I thought if Mr P's count was low we'd ask his brother to donate. Fingers crossed the surgery works.

PM, WW and T2D how are you feeling today? Sorry if I've missed anyone out.

Hi Isla and welcome. Hi to all the newbies.

RG, maybe our time is when there's world peace.

Last night I signed up to find out about the patient support group at my hospital. Then today I was emailed by the person who runs the group that a tv company wants to follow IVF patients at our hospital and to contact them if interested. Ha ha, no way.

We're having guests stay over Xmas when I should have an IVF embie on board. I'm starting to get stressed out at the thought of them making a mess like they did last year. Mr P is going to say they can't stay as long but any suggestions of coping mechanisms will be gratefully received.

angeltreats

Right my lovelies, I have a bit of a dilemma.

Months ago, we arranged to spend this coming weekend with DH's parents, brother and sister in law as an early Christmas, as the parents are going to spend Christmas plus the next couple of months in another country with DH's other sister, who is about to give birth in a few weeks.

The sister who lives in another country announced her pregnancy via email at literally the exact time that DH and I were sitting in the doctor's surgery for the first time discussing why we were not pregnant after over a year of trying. So the whole time she's been pregnant I've just not been able to talk about it very much at all, I am so jealous and bitter.

Anyway. A few weeks ago, the other sister in law also announced that she is pregnant - conveniently the announcement came the day after DH's lovely grandma died and I was already in a bit of a state. I took the news even less well than I did when I heard about the first sister in law. The day before the funeral I sat with DH's parents and cried and cried and cried, and they really didn't know what do do with me.

Sorry, I'm rambling now. The dilemma is that I just don't think I can bring myself to spend this weekend with the pregnant sister in law, especially knowing we're doing it early because DH's parents are getting ready go to off and see my other pregnant sister in law and be there when the baby is born etc. It is just too hard. I'm angry and sad and upset and a million other things, but it is just so difficult to get through the days at the moment without having to look at pregnant sister in law and not just break down in tears.

DH's parents can't understand this at all. They are trying, but they just don't get why I can't just have a cry in front of everyone. "We're a family, we'll get through it together". Seriously - sitting in a room bawling your eyes out with five people staring at you is really not my idea of a good time. The stupidest things are setting me off at the moment, I'm pretty much guaranteed not to get through a day without having some sort of meltdown, and that's just at home where there are no pregnant ladies to set me off.

I've pleaded with DH to go without me but he refuses, saying I'm mentally unhinged and he's worried about leaving me on my own. Which is stupid. I would spend the weekend sorting out the spare room, not slitting my wrists. His parents agree with him, that if I can't bear to go then I shouldn't be left on my own. They just don't *get* that it's totally different. And they are upset, because they won't be back till March and if we don't go they won't see us till then.

What do I do, ladies? Do I stay home and risk really upsetting DH's parents, who I love despite the inane advice they keep spouting ("Don't get despondent. Stressing will do you no good." etc) or do I go knowing that I am pretty much guaranteed to spend the weekend in tears and ruin everyone's early Christmas anyway?

If you're still reading, sorry for such a long, rambling and stupid post, and thanks for bearing with me.

Peonie

Hi WW, sorry the other embie won't be frozen.

Angel, take the pressure off yourself by saying you will make the decision at the end of the week. Maybe by then you will feel a bit better. I wish I could help more.

SewIt_2

Peonie - if you are already getting stressed about people coming to stay, then I would say you should consider asking them not to come. My reasons are that a) IVF is stressful enough. b) you don't know how you are going to feel, or where you will be at. Please don't take this the wrong way, but what if you don't make it to ET? (I am 100% not saying this will happen, but just highlighting that it could) You will be disappointed and will really not feel like seeing anyone and having people in your home will be really hard to cope with. Just some thoughts and I'm not trying to be negative, honestly. xx

WW - sorry your embie didn't make it. My embryologist said only 10-15% of couples have embies to freeze so don't be disappointed. focus all your energy on the little guy on board. xx

Angel, good advice from Peonie there, take the pressure off. Can you go but stay elsewhere and only spend a few hours with the family?

WWDN - hugs for crimbo shopping for other people's kids. I've got 7 kids stockings to make as gifts this year and I long for day I am making gifts for my baby, not other peoples. I totally get where you are coming from. x

Hugs vesper, PM, Isla and all the other lovely ladies on the board. x

Part_Mouse

Sounds like we need lots of hugs ladies, its such a hard time of year for so many.

Guests and what to do over te festive period bring up so many stresses,stresses we really don't need.

Peonie I'm ok thanks, just sick of injecting, only had 2 weeks break since aug and those we only the 2ww weight. Desperately need ov to happen ASAP.

Peonie

Hi SewIt, I had not even considered that we would not get to embryo transfer. You are right, I won't want to see them. The next few weeks are just too important to mess up. I just spoke to Mr P. He knew what I was going to say without me explaining why. He'll work out what to say to them - they are from his side of the family. I've told him not to make dates for next year in case it stresses me again.

Rowingirl

Big hugs code, I hope they find some sperm or sperm cells during surgery.

Peonie I've penciled in world peace for January. I've decided to make it the right time rather than wait for it .

PM I hope ov happens for you really really soon. Has your FS spoken to you since your scan?

Angel are your in-laws close enough for you to visit for the day or leave early?

Hi sewit I'm ok, been doing some research before our review appointment.