The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

Skint_Catt

Off for my prolactin re-test in a minute. Dr said to relax prior to it, ha ha, yeah like that's going to happen!

vesper

Yaaaaaaayyyy congratulations Derby, so pleased for you. (Sorry I'm late to the party).


Hugs to all that need them.


Nothing going on here now, don't feel like I've ov'd this month, there's been no signs at all, which is strange for me. Been dtd all the same (can't hurt hey?).


Got my appointment for an ultrasound scan at the end of January, so looks like January will involve loads of travelling to the hospital (erggg which is a horrid drive- why do they always put hospitals in terrible places that are really hard to get to?)

Part_Mouse

Skint I hope the repeat test brings better news.

Vesper hosptials are never the esiest place to gret to are they.

time2deal

MrsSippi wrote: »

However (and I feel bad saying this) I lam getting a bit tired of the updates. Obviously I want things to work out for her but Ii had 6 texts yesterday telling me what happened and what it all means.

While I want to support her I do wonder if I need to know absolutely everything. As far as me having another child goes, I don't have any immediate plans but if we do start trying I will keep that quiet from everyone just because I prefer to keep it private. I'm not judging those that do want to tell people, I just don't want people knowing until I actually was pregnant.

It might have just been low progesterone showing she may not have ovulated. But now rising correctly.

To be honest, you won't get to much sympathy here for losing patience after a day. This is the hardest longest most painful thing I've ever been through, so if you are not up for the stress and support required long term then perhaps you should delicately step aside.

I have one (male, gay) friend who takes the time to understand and listen and always take the time to deal with my tears, and excitement and depression. Its not easy, but I am so grateful to him for trying. Especially as he REALLY doesn't understand even the parts involved! Or the desire to have kids to be honest.

The process will go in fits and starts. She had just been diagnosed, so will need more support now and may not later. And part of supporting her would be to follow the advise about telling her if you are trying. Pretending to be happy when someone announces they are pregnant is one of the hardest things to deal with, it's nicer if you give her a little heads up.

MrsSippi

time2deal wrote: »

It might have just been low progesterone showing she may not have ovulated. But now rising correctly.

To be honest, you won't get to much sympathy here for losing patience after a day. This is the hardest longest most painful thing I've ever been through, so if you are not up for the stress and support required long term then perhaps you should delicately step aside.

I have one (male, gay) friend who takes the time to understand and listen and always take the time to deal with my tears, and excitement and depression. Its not easy, but I am so grateful to him for trying. Especially as he REALLY doesn't understand even the parts involved! Or the desire to have kids to be honest.

The process will go in fits and starts. She had just been diagnosed, so will need more support now and may not later. And part of supporting her would be to follow the advise about telling her if you are trying. Pretending to be happy when someone announces they are pregnant is one of the hardest things to deal with, it's nicer if you give her a little heads up.

Fair points. I do understand to a point how soul destroying it must be tohave trouble trying to conceive (I say to a point, just because I have not beenthrough it so can't understand fully).

It is not so much I am losing patience it is more that we are not that closeso it is not like it would be something you discuss often with a best friendetc. I have had 3 friends go through ivf and have supported them however I can.One of them was a close friend and I was often talking to her what she wasgoing through and drying tears or just being there for her - none of which Iminded in the least. I think this is what I am having trouble getting my headaround with her - all of the other 3 told me when they had their appointmentsetc and when developments happened, which I completely understand and was gladthat they felt they could talk to me.

It just seems a bit like she has been for 2 appts and I have already hadumpteen text messages about it all. While I am not uncomfortable talking aboutit, I don't know enough and I also found (with my other friends at least) thata large part of it they wanted to keep to themselves because it was quite apersonal experience for them.

It almost seems like there is an element of attention seeking (for want of abetter word) about it. I know that may offend some people and I really don't meanto because I know not everyone is the same and I know that a lot of you arehaving a very tough time (to put it mildly). I would compare it a bit to a workcolleague who is no more than that (ie not a friend) telling you every minutedetail about it if it was happening to them.

I am not trying to sound so unsympathetic (and I do sympathise for thesituation). I know that some of you might be upset by this (and again Iapologise if you are, I don't intend for that) but would you really say tosomeone 'we really need everyone's support right now this is a very distressingtime for us' (and I mean that is literally what she said). It goes withoutsaying that everyone will support her anyway (and have told her this).

Again, I am very sorry if I have upset or offended any of you, I have thegreatest of respect for anyone who can put themselves through such a gruelling process.

littleme82

Sorry been a bit quiet recently.

BIG CONGRATULATIONS Derby - it only takes one little embie. Really pleased for you.

As for us we're CD2 so cycle 17 is about to start and our 7th round of clomid. Guess that means I can enjoy the christmas parties but didn't think we'd still be in the same position as we were last year......

All fun.

Not in the right place to start reading back properly. I will reply more substantively when I've got rid of the AF which is just a nasty reminder everytime I need to pee.

xx

Skint_Catt

Cancelled blood test - Dr said I need to be relaxed & calm & to go to the appointment 30 mins early so I can chill beforehand. No chance of that after the morning of screaming (dd's) & tears (mine), so rearranged it for tomorrow when hopefully I can get someone to have her for an hour or two beforehand

Wonder_Woman

MrsSippi wrote: »

but would you really say tosomeone 'we really need everyone's support right now this is a very distressingtime for us' (and I mean that is literally what she said).

Personally, I don't see anything wrong with that. Everyone is different. It is a hugely distressing thing to find out and as you quite rightly say you've not been through and so (without wishing to be rude) most likely cannot fully appreciate that. It shouldn't stop you being supportive though.

Some people will want to talk about it in lots of detail. Some won't.

Some people will find it easier to talk to someone they are not close to (such as a colleague). Some won't.

Some people will want everyone to know so that they can (try to) understand. Some won't.

If you are losing patience already with trying to understand then perhaps you are better to politely step aside and let others be there. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh.

codemonkey

Just back from the FS and it's really not good news.

Here is the situation:
My hormone profiles are ok but my erratic cycles aren't helping and they want to do some tests - so I've got provera to bring on AF, and once she's been and gone, I've got a bag full of pee sample bottles to do a weekly sample for 10 weeks so they can see what's going on. I need another blood test, a pelvic scan and an HSG. All of which are probably pointless because...

DH's sperm count is actually zero. There was not a single sperm to be found in either sample. They think it might be because of testicle retrieval procedure when he was younger, but they've taken bloods to check his hormones and chromosomes. Our only hope is a testicular biopsy which will hopefully retrieve some sperm cells and ICSI but there's only a 30-50% chance of there actually being sperm in there to recover. He's on the waiting list and should go through this in 4-5 months, which gives me that much time to get my BMI as low as possible. I expected them to tell me off, but they didn't. They weighed and measured us so it wasn't like I could fib.

So in other words, do not pass go, do not collect $200, go straight to ICSI, assuming there are sperm in there to collect. Less than 50% of getting any sperm cells, then the clinic's success rate for ICSI is 37%.

If I were a horse, I wouldn't bet on me.

angeltreats

Oh !!!!. I truly don't know what to say. I've been whinging and full of self pity because my DH's count was something like 1 million. So sorry Code, I wish there was something useful/comforting/not irritating I could say.

I suppose it's far too early to start considering a donor?