12-24 weeks pregnant (part2)

RobotsinDisguse

emz118 wrote: »

You have made a baby! That in itself is a total miracle!!! If you have been chosen to have a special baby, that is because you are a special person and would be the perfect person to bring up that baby.

thank you for the reminder emzl, that is SO good to hear right now xx

marywooyeah wrote: »

RID sorry to hear you're so upset, it must be a lot to take in. There is still a very high chance that your baby won't have downs, there is further testing that can be done (I think its at 16 weeks) to get a more definite result. Did your midwife go through this with you? Sorry to hear she was a bit abrupt with you, you're completely right that she should have been accomodating towards you she sounded very insensitive. Would it help to change midwives? You dont have to have the same one the whole way through, especially not if they've made you upset. Xxx

Thank you Mary, yes she went through options. I'm just past their cut off for one of the tests (the cord test with the abreviated name), and they don't recomend the expensive blood test. So it's amniocenticis (SP?) or nothing. This hospital has a very high score for not causing complications with the procedure so we agreed to it. ( I have time to cancel if my worry about mc outweighs my worry about downs).

Lara44 wrote: »

Huge hugs for the nuchal test results, 97% is still a good chance that the baby doesn't have any chromosomal abnormality. You have options here to proceed with further testing, and I think a lot depends on your own feelings about the situation. It's really not an easy decision, and I am just sending you the fluffiest vibes ever to decide how to go forward. XX

*hugs* lara. And a few sniffles of feeling cared for! I certainly felt those vibes across the ether!

Mrs_T_M wrote: »

Be brave hun, this is YOUR baby, and you are to be respected! *hugs*

humm, yes, thank you. When I've pulled myself off the floor i will focus on writing a letter to the right person. I did find myself thinking of you when I was standing up for myself (if I remember rightly you were also somewhat pigeonholed/ignored at your booking regarding homebirth etc?)


and big hugs to mysecretalias, lara, Mrs T, emzl and anyone else whose thought supportive, positive things xxx

Kynthia

mysecretalias wrote: »

Emz118 thanks for the reassurance, I need to start remembering that many other ladies don't feel a thing at 19 weeks, especially in their first pregnancies. It just seems to be one more excuse for me to worry and my stupid paranoid head finds lots of reasons to worry all the time.....blooming hormones. I've always been a bit of a worrier but I've been on overdrive during this pregnancy and it's really starting to do my nut in. Worst thing is the more you tell yourself not to worry, the more worried you get!!!!

I've read that most first time mums feel the first movement between 18 and 20 weeks, so your not even nearly later than the average yet and as with all averages, there will be many normal people above and below them. Also once you've felt your first movement or kick doesn't mean that you then regularly feel movement. I felt what seemed like two bubbles bursting beneath my skin when I was sat a bit squished on a train at 18+3 then nothing again for nearly a week. The only time I felt anything for the next two months was when I was sat/laying doing absolutely nothing, and even then the baby might be sleeping instead of moving so it wasn't all the time. So please don't worry.

cllola

mysecretalias wrote: »

Emz118 thanks for the reassurance, I need to start remembering that many other ladies don't feel a thing at 19 weeks, especially in their first pregnancies. It just seems to be one more excuse for me to worry and my stupid paranoid head finds lots of reasons to worry all the time.....blooming hormones. I've always been a bit of a worrier but I've been on overdrive during this pregnancy and it's really starting to do my nut in. Worst thing is the more you tell yourself not to worry, the more worried you get!!!!

Mrstm given what happened I can understand totally that you'd be nervous of baths - I've been having baths and my OH just makes sure it isn't too hot as apparently that's not good for baby. He is a little over cautious though, sometimes I get in and it's little more than lukewarm so I have to wait until he's left the bathroom to sneak more hot water in! Someone on here suggested filling a glass with milk, putting a few drops of lavender in, and pouring the mix into the bath which can make for a quite relaxing time.

I'm sure your baby will make its presence very well known over the next few weeks! Try to make time to be completely relaxed mentally and physically and it's likely you will start to feel things soon, if not remember it's still perfectly normal for 1st time mums to have bit felt anything yet.

Ooh and don't beat yourself up about worrying, pregnancy is the start of a lifetime of worrying about your children, it's what mums do and we are allowed!

Also for future reference the milk and lavender in the bath is great for post birth tears and stitches etc apparently!

Mrs_T_M

RobotsinDisguse wrote: »

humm, yes, thank you. When I've pulled myself off the floor i will focus on writing a letter to the right person. I did find myself thinking of you when I was standing up for myself (if I remember rightly you were also somewhat pigeonholed/ignored at your booking regarding homebirth etc?)

Yep. Midwife refused to check homebirth on the options and left it blank. I've checked homebirth on the list now though.

I just hope that they check my blood pressure at the beginning of my doctors appointment on the 7th instead of at the end if they are going to try to scare me or argue with me about homebirth. I'm not afraid to take my notes and walk out in the middle of an appointment though, and I can and do write quite strongly worded letters on occasion.

claire16c

Robots this page has some info about screening etc

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a1487/screening-for-downs-syndrome

How far along are you? Did they not offer you the quad test too?

jen_1985_04

mysecretalias wrote: »

Robots so sorry to hear you've had a bad time definitely focus on the 97% chance of everything being ok though! when you say it like that, it doesn't seem so bad, but I know when you're actually going through it yourself you will panic no matter what. Glad to hear you stood up to the midwife a bit as well - they have to realise that these things can't just be rushed through.

I think I'll stick around on this thread for a little while before properly moving onto the the main pregnancy thread, that thread is quite rightly more focused on the lovely ladies who are about to pop and I wrote a couple of posts panicking that I've not felt baby move and panicking because we've not got a house yet and no one really responded to them so I don't think that's the place for me to be just yet.

I'm just so anxious about everything at the moment and causing myself a bit of upset with it about not having felt baby move at 19 weeks. My scan is two weeks away but it feels like a lifetime. My hormones are causing me to be a little crazy at the moment and everything seems to be upsetting me

Hope you are all ok and sorry I've stayed away for a few days xxx

I was the same, reading on here how everyone was feeling movement - I felt so left out I felt the first kicks at 20 weeks (it was in the middle of the night, if I had been asleep I would have missed them) your time will come

As someone else said, at the 20 week scan (mine was at 19 weeks) baby was very active and the sonographer asked if I could feel any movements - I said I couldn't and she just smiled.

I know exactly how you feel - just hang in there and before you know it you will be getting kicked right left and center :T

cheeseaddict

mysecretalias wrote: »

Cheeseaddict sounds like you're coping remarkably well with your stresses at the moment, you'll have to share your secret, apart from lovely relaxing baths that is!!

Aww thank you, to be honest all this rubbish has been coming for a few month, and although when I'm pregnant I'm hormonal and could cry at the silliest things, I kind of think clearer (pregnancy does strange things :cool:)...when not pregnant I am the most indecisive person in the world! It is hard beacuse he also Daddy to my ds but my head knows I'm doing right. To be honest being on here hearing about others worries and stresses put mine into perspective.

Mary, he lived with me, in my house, he did contribute, although not as much as he should, so now he's at his sisters. So not really a big upheaval in terms of no marriage, no shared tenancy, just a bit less money coming in (because I doubt very much he'll still contribute) He is Daddy to my 5 year old, and thinking back he was like this then (although you tend to forget the bad bits of pregnancy), but this time we have another child to think about too and he just isn't.

cheeseaddict

mysecretalias wrote: »

Mrstm given what happened I can understand totally that you'd be nervous of baths - I've been having baths and my OH just makes sure it isn't too hot as apparently that's not good for baby. He is a little over cautious though, sometimes I get in and it's little more than lukewarm so I have to wait until he's left the bathroom to sneak more hot water in! Someone on here suggested filling a glass with milk, putting a few drops of lavender in, and pouring the mix into the bath which can make for a quite relaxing time.

It is scary regarding the temperature of the baths. I loved hot baths and now I have to have it a lot cooler. I read somewhere that too hot is anything that raises your body temperature to anything above 102degrees. Also if the water turns your skin pink when your sitting in it (mine always used to ) then its too hot. If my little one is in bed I put candles round, a dribble of smelly bubble, take a book and put the radiators on (nothing worse than getting out of a warmish bath into a cold room :eek:)

mysecretalias

Cheeseaddict you sound incredibly strong and I've no doubt you'll be a brilliant mum without others around making you unhappy Have you got other support around you like your family? And don't ever think for a second that your problems are any less important than others' problems - we are all here to support each other in anything no matter how small!

Thanks so much everyone for your reassurance, all the lovely replies just made me smile, and feel so much better about not having felt anything yet, thank you. I'm going to try not to worry about it as much over the next few days and just focus on other things instead

Like taking this stupid tommee tippee electric steriliser starter set back to kiddicare to exchange - brought it in the sale the other night (£65 down to £30) and we were very smug about getting the last one. Got it home to find there was no kid inside!!!! Grrr!!

mysecretalias

mysecretalias wrote: »

Like taking this stupid tommee tippee electric steriliser starter set back to kiddicare to exchange - brought it in the sale the other night (£65 down to £30) and we were very smug about getting the last one. Got it home to find there was no kid inside!!!! Grrr!!

OMG I meant LID not KID!!

Just laughed so hard a bit of pee came out!!!:rotfl:

That would be one epic starter kit though! Lol!