12-24 weeks pregnant (part2)

emz118

Robots... sorry to hear your news about the Downs result. I would imagine you are in shock.


I don't know what your opinions are on your options in terms of further testing etc, but I would like to share mine... no offence intended!!!


Here goes...


You have made a baby! That in itself is a total miracle!!! If you have been chosen to have a special baby, that is because you are a special person and would be the perfect person to bring up that baby.


Having said that, there is a 97% chance that your baby won't have Downs Syndrome.


We had the Nuchal test, despite the fact that I knew, whatever the result, that we were keeping this baby. If the result had come back as a high risk, we would have prepared ourselves to deal with the outcome, whatever it was, but had no further testing.


I think of it this way... I am a teacher. One of my fellow teachers has a son with Williams Syndrome. He is now 20 but functioning at the level of a 6 year old. His mother openly says that yes, at times it has been the hardest work imaginable, and she has had some dark moments, yet looking at him now makes her so proud, and she wouldn't change him for the world. She has 4 children, the other 3 are "normal" and she loves them all the same. She is an amazing lady, but she is only human. There was a reason that Tom was born as he was, we will never know that reason, but there was one.


I'm not sure that made much sense, but I hope you get roughly what I'm saying.


Remember there are so many charities and services to help and support you, whatever the outcome.


Sending thoughts and hugs your way. xXx

mysecretalias

Robots so sorry to hear you've had a bad time definitely focus on the 97% chance of everything being ok though! when you say it like that, it doesn't seem so bad, but I know when you're actually going through it yourself you will panic no matter what. Glad to hear you stood up to the midwife a bit as well - they have to realise that these things can't just be rushed through.

I think I'll stick around on this thread for a little while before properly moving onto the the main pregnancy thread, that thread is quite rightly more focused on the lovely ladies who are about to pop and I wrote a couple of posts panicking that I've not felt baby move and panicking because we've not got a house yet and no one really responded to them so I don't think that's the place for me to be just yet.

I'm just so anxious about everything at the moment and causing myself a bit of upset with it about not having felt baby move at 19 weeks. My scan is two weeks away but it feels like a lifetime. My hormones are causing me to be a little crazy at the moment and everything seems to be upsetting me

Hope you are all ok and sorry I've stayed away for a few days xxx

mysecretalias

Cheeseaddict sounds like you're coping remarkably well with your stresses at the moment, you'll have to share your secret, apart from lovely relaxing baths that is!!

emz118

mysecretalias... I am 32 weeks on Weds.


I didn't feel any movement until about 22-23 weeks. I asked the sonographer at the 20 week scan why I couldn't feel anything when baby was clearly moving, and she said that it was because my placenta is at the top so baby was kicking a lovely big cushion, meaning I couldn't feel it.


Now though, hubby can see baby having a good old wriggle from across the room!!!

marywooyeah

Cheeseaddict your boyfriend sounds like a !!!!!! I can't believe some of the things he's said to you do you have anywhere else to go? Family for a bit of support? It can be hard to get out of abusive relationships but its better that you've seen his true colors now than after the baby arrives, glad to hear you got a bit of "me" time.

RID sorry to hear you're so upset, it must be a lot to take in. There is still a very high chance that your baby won't have downs, there is further testing that can be done (I think its at 16 weeks) to get a more definite result. Did your midwife go through this with you? Sorry to hear she was a bit abrupt with you, you're completely right that she should have been accomodating towards you she sounded very insensitive. Would it help to change midwives? You dont have to have the same one the whole way through, especially not if they've made you upset. Xxx

marywooyeah

Mrs tm pee-eewww! I hope you had somevshowers in between!

Mysec the sonographer told me that a lot of women dont feel anything until after 20 weeks. If you want a bit of reassurance could you book a private scan so you could see the baby moving about? X

Mrs_T_M

marywooyeah wrote: »

Mrs tm pee-eewww! I hope you had somevshowers in between!

Mysec the sonographer told me that a lot of women dont feel anything until after 20 weeks. If you want a bit of reassurance could you book a private scan so you could see the baby moving about? X

I've washed every day, just not a full shower/bath. I have a very sensitive sense of smell, and I won't stand for being smelly!

emz118

Mrs T M I love a nice long bath, so I can't imagine what it must be like for you to not enjoy them.


Could you try almost distracting yourself? So maybe a shower radio would help... so you're listening to the radio rather than the bathing being the main focus? Or reading? I pretty much always read in the bath and I can lose an hour easily!!!


Could you try new smellies as well? Maybe treat yourself to something more luxury than normal. My MIL treated me to a set of the sanctuary mum to be stuff for my birthday and it's lovely!


Edited to say definitely try candles too. I always light mine, turn out the light and turn on my kindle paperwhite.


xXx

Lara44

Robots, sorry to hear about hospital stress. I hope that you get better care next time and that the staff will work to make you more comfortable. When I go to hospital I do feel like a tiny cog in a big machine, it's difficult sometimes.

Huge hugs for the nuchal test results, 97% is still a good chance that the baby doesn't have any chromosomal abnormality. You have options here to proceed with further testing, and I think a lot depends on your own feelings about the situation. It's really not an easy decision, and I am just sending you the fluffiest vibes ever to decide how to go forward. XX

mysecretalias

Emz118 thanks for the reassurance, I need to start remembering that many other ladies don't feel a thing at 19 weeks, especially in their first pregnancies. It just seems to be one more excuse for me to worry and my stupid paranoid head finds lots of reasons to worry all the time.....blooming hormones. I've always been a bit of a worrier but I've been on overdrive during this pregnancy and it's really starting to do my nut in. Worst thing is the more you tell yourself not to worry, the more worried you get!!!!

Mrstm given what happened I can understand totally that you'd be nervous of baths - I've been having baths and my OH just makes sure it isn't too hot as apparently that's not good for baby. He is a little over cautious though, sometimes I get in and it's little more than lukewarm so I have to wait until he's left the bathroom to sneak more hot water in! Someone on here suggested filling a glass with milk, putting a few drops of lavender in, and pouring the mix into the bath which can make for a quite relaxing time.