12-24 weeks pregnant (part2)

AquamarineMonkey

mrshappy wrote: »

welcome pommevert, cheeseaddict and aquamarinemonkey

thanks for mentioning when Father's Day is sunshine, I'll need to get my thinking cap on as our wee munchkin will be here a couple of weeks before then-I foresee me crying in the card shop with a brand new baby trying to choose a card!

You could always order a card on Moonpig and upload a photo of baby if you can't face going to the shops, I had quite a few birthdays coming up in the weeks after having DS and because I had a c-section and it wasn't easy to get out and about I just ordered them online - not very moneysaving but they were personalised!

BadlyWrittenPoem

samtoby wrote: »

Anyway welcome RobotsinDisguse and I am sorry you have had a bad time. I do hope it will all be ok for you - if you are worried do go and speak to the ladies on the next thread - just because your not in that time frame of pregnancy does not mean you can not go there and chat about your concerns.

The main pregnancy thread is for people at any stage of pregnancy and always has been so everyone on this thread is also welcome there.

marywooyeah

Robotsindisguise I hope that everything is ok for you it can be frightening, it sounds like you have a supportive midwife which will make all the difference, I really hope you get good nes x

I haven't meant to upset anybody I just though this was somewhere where we could all talk openly about our pregnancies, happiness, fears worries etc. I haveeexperienced losses myself, one particularly traumatic loss when I was quite young and it ruined my life so I would never undermine anyone else's losses I understand that pain all too well.

I dont expect that anyone here will have suffered the things that ive been through and its for those reasons that having a girl fills me with dread, I don't want a girl to suffer anything like that and feel that I wouldn't be able to offer a girl the care she needs, she'd be better off with a different mother who could.

I think everyone here wants what's best for their children and ven if you dont agree with my decision I'm sure you can respect that I feel this is best for her. Its great that you'll all have babies at the end of this and I'm happy for all of you to get to experience that.

marywooyeah

mysecretalias wrote: »

Oh gosh this is getting so bad that I'm starting to hope it's a wind up or attention seeking. Sorry if that upsets anyone and this thread is meant to be supportive but you can't seriously come on here and start to openly talk about having your unborn child adopted just because it's the 'wrong' sex and then come across as shocked when others react 'judgementally'.

I think possibly the poster in question might want to think about taking a step back from this thread for the sake of their own stress levels as well as others, until they have decided what to do. It seems to be getting to the point where it's driving others away and that's really not fair.

Samtoby bless you please come back and talk through your feelings, we here to listen and I hate to think of you and others having to avoid the thread xxx hugs xxx

I find this very hurtful, I'm having her adopted so she can have a better life because i wont be able to provide for her. This is a very painful decision its beingmade harder by hurtful aaccusations. This thread was somewhere I felt safe with other pregnant women and I thought we were all here to support each other.

fireyfirenze

samtoby come back soon with the news of your scan, you are lovely.

Toothfairy4

Mary, i'm sorry but surely you must have considered that the baby might be a girl before you ttc'd? And you must have wanted another child so does this mean if you end up having this one adopted you will keep going until you get a boy?!

amyloofoo

marywooyeah wrote: »

I find this very hurtful, I'm having her adopted so she can have a better life because i wont be able to provide for her. This is a very painful decision its beingmade harder by hurtful aaccusations. This thread was somewhere I felt safe with other pregnant women and I thought we were all here to support each other.

*Delurking*

This thread is a place for expectant Mummies to support each other, but that doesn't mean there will never be disagreements - it's inevitable when we're discussing topics that are so emotional and when, frankly, hormones are running high anyway. I don't think anyone has deliberately set out to hurt you Mary, but at the same time I'm sure you can understand why people are shocked and struggling to comprehend your choices. I know you're hurting right now, but please try to remember that others are hurting too, and that many ladies on this thread are aware that baby being the 'wrong' gender isn't the only 'bad' news you can get at the 20 week scan

To be honest, I can understand why people might think and hope you're not genuine - I profoundly hope that myself, for your sake as much as anything else. Despite that, I'm aware that extreme gender disappointment exists and that it must be an incredibly lonely and painful place to be. There's a forum here which specifically deals with the issue and where there's some great advice on when to seek professional help, how to move forward and a supportive and knowledgeable community.

As you seem now to be deciding upon adoption, I would urge you to seek some help from professionals before making the final decision. I understand that some experiences have made you and your partner feel that you would be unable to raise a girl and give her the same opportunities as a boy - do you think that resolving the trauma relating to your experiences could change your opinion on whether you are able to raise this child? How does your partner feel?

Please take some time to come to terms with what's happened and to ask for support as well as talking over all of your options again. You've had a shock, you're hormonal and it sounds as though there are other issues coming into play too - now is not the time to be making quick decisions.

*relurk*

marywooyeah

Toothfairy4 wrote: »

Mary, i'm sorry but surely you must have considered that the baby might be a girl before you ttc'd? And you must have wanted another child so does this mean if you end up having this one adopted you will keep going until you get a boy?!

Yes we knew it was a small possibility but boys are so prevalent on both sides of our families it seemed certain that we would have another boy. I thought if we did have a girl I would be able to cope but the more I think about it the more I feel she would be better placed with the right family, its not fair on her otherwise.

With our fertility issues we were lucky to concieve this time so I would doubt we would have anymore children anyway.

Amy thankyou for that link I will check it now. I of course understand that others may not comprehend this decision and I'm not asking them too, I just asked for my decision to be respected, as I would respect the views and opinions of others even if I didnt understand them. Thanks again for the link x

Lara44

Hello everyone who's just joined, I am very happy to see so many familiar faces from the previous thread.

Robots I'm sorry that things are not straightforward for you right now. I hope that both you and the baby will be happy and healthy. Of course you should feel free to share your feelings here. Sending huge hugs x

Good luck for your scan, Sam.

Hugs xx

mancbird

Mary, can I just ask what your husband feels about all this? This baby is as much his as it is yours. Is he really happy for you to have his child adopted and for him to never see her again? And your son? You've said already that you've told him about the baby? What do you plan to tell him about why he will never meet his little sister? What would be the impact of this on him?

I really would urge you to seek some professional help regarding your reaction to this as it may come to be something you regret immensely in the future xxx