Contact with children - any SW 's on here?

Person_one

alias*alibi wrote: »

As far as I know it's the first time he's ever done something like this. After a few months of him leaving he said he'd made a huge mistake and wanted to come back but I was hurt and angry and said no. In hindsight if I'd said yes there wouldn't even be another child in question, but there you have it.

I'm not saying our lives could had been better before he left but I'm definitely not the one who pushed him towards an affair.

I know people think I'm dumb taking him back, but I have. If I were to chuck him out now he would be destitute; my daughter would be devastated. I wasn't asking for advice on our relationship; I've made that choice. Yes I'm not denying part of me is terrified by all of it; I worry about things all the time; I'm living scared; but that's more to do with me than anything else.

It was a huge mistake and he wanted to come back...

...but when you said no he carried on living with her and sleeping with her?

What a great way to show you how much he care about you.

FBaby

Person_one wrote: »

Not buying it. Cheating is a deliberate act, a step waaay too far and unless somebody's got a gun to your head nothing can 'make' you do it.

I never said the opposite...

Tiddlywinks

alias*alibi wrote: »

As far as I know it's the first time he's ever done something like this. After a few months of him leaving he said he'd made a huge mistake and wanted to come back but I was hurt and angry and said no. In hindsight if I'd said yes there wouldn't even be another child in question, but there you have it.

So, he left for greener pastures... but found he'd made a mistake... you wouldn't take him back... so he stayed? Created a child with a woman he didn't want to be with?

Why didn't he just move out and live on his own, get a house share or go back to his mum? Why did he stay and make babies?

You just keep making excuses for him and I don't understand that.

He now doesn't want to know his child yet you are the force behind getting in touch... he is an adult with free will and choices to make... you are treating him like a child who needs guidance to keep him on the straight and narrow... not healthy for either of you or for your daughter who will be watching and learning and believing that this is how relationships should be.

duchy

It's all about what he wants...... I do wonder why having said no you took him back ......knowing he'd got another woman pregnant ...........or did he keep that fact from you until after he'd moved back in ?

If your daughter hooked up with a man like your husband....What advice would you give her ?

barbarawright

Once the OP has deleted the original post, surely it's pretty clear they are no longer interested in others' opinions?