Sell my flat to move in with Boyfriend - complicated...

Brallaqueen

I think it is a good sign that your boyfriend wants you to move in together, and I can appreciate that he is a nice, kind and supportive chap if very sheltered.
As someone who was spoiled rotten by my whole family (youngest of 8), I can see his POV - because you are insulated from everything it can be really hard to understand why people are so passionate about their independence and doing everything the hard way.


So, its not necessarily a case of him being mean and manipulative, just a case of him really, sincerely not seeing why you aren't leaping at the chance to get your hands on a big 4 bed lovely house on the cheap and why you feel so connected to your little flat which is "obviously not as nice as his mum and dad's place" in his head.
He hasn't ever had to earn anything so doesn't understand why your little flat is so special to you. If he had the option of being given an something or working for something, he's gonna pick the gift every time.


I agree that he needs a taster of independent living so that you end up on similar wavelengths. He's not going to get that living in his mum and dad's place but if he doesn't understand how important independence is to learning about life than it'll be difficult to get him to understand why he should give up his cushy lifestyle.

I can see that you care for him OP but I don't think your viewpoints are going to mesh on this one.

Yorkie1

I agree with all the other posts.

Just one thing about the suggestion that you might rent your flat out - do you know whether your current lender permits consent to let? They might refuse, or charge a fee, or charge a higher interest rate.

You may not be able to re-mortgage to another lender, if need be, because you don't have significant equity in the property.

Please don't just let it out on a residential mortgage without CTL. It is not fair to your tenant (who should be asking for evidence of CTL anyway), and you risk being found out because lenders are increasingly savvy about people doing this. And you'd need to change your insurance to LL's insurance too, as well as comply with all the other laws relating to being a LL.

This is not to say it can't necessarily be done, but don't assume it will be easy.

Hoopylass

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to reply.

I'm most definetly not selling my flat and your viewpoints have helped confirm in my own mind that I'm not being stubborn.

Every point that has been made has been taken on board and I
Know I need to sit down properly and discuss it with him and at the end of the day I guess if we can't agree then that's another subject.

If he did move into mines I'm gonna put it too him that I will pay the mortgage as after all it's my flat but would expect him to pay half the bills etc. we sit it out for another year or so to make sure his job is secure and then look at other options. OR he moves into the bigger house by himself and deals with everything himself.

Ideally the first option would be better.

adouglasmhor

How about he moves into the bigger house by himself, rents out the other rooms (as lodgers not an HMO) and uses that money towards rent to his parents, bills and maintenance etc. That might teach him enouigh to start the jouney towards being an adult and not a petulant manboy.

Errata

Just remember - you believe he would do anything for you, this is your opportunity to discover the truth of that.

C_Mababejive

Have not read it all. My advice to the OP is,,stay where you are.