Sell my flat to move in with Boyfriend - complicated...

nom_de_plume

+1 on the don't sell camp.

Seems to me you are already a couple of rungs up the property ladder whereas BF is still trying to roll a 6 to start. If you sell up you end up at the same level as BF, he doesn't get to join you halfway, you go down to his level. He is asking you to give up something that could take years to rebuild.
If you keep the flat and he moves in and saves plus helps with the bills whilst you pay the mortgage, in a couple of years time you should have a decent bit of equity plus his savings to put down on a joint purchase. Possibly even the 4 bed home if his parents let it out in the meantime.
It seems your BF needs a lesson in the cold harsh realities of life and living under his parents extended wings is not going to help in that respect.
You come across as an intelligent individual. Take your time to make your mind up on what you want. Decide where you are willing to compromise and then twist him round your little finger :-)

Rachylou1981

Boyfriend bashing aside Hoopylass, I think everyone is in strong agreement that in your situation stepping off the property ladder in order to rent will be a mistake.

I hope that you can discuss the points raised by many in this thread with your boyfriend and his family if need be (not sure if they are pushing you into this too).

FBaby

On one hand one flat you really like that it's been part of your life for 8 years, and offering you the most security in your life. On the other hand, a boyfriend of 2 years only, who seems unable to look after himself, let alone someone else... which one is more reliable? Which one is more worthy of hanging on to?

notanewuser

FWIW we'd been married for over a year before buying a house together. Only then did I sell my house.

lostinrates

notanewuser wrote: »

We did!! I had a 3 bed as a singleton too.

We wanted one room to be a study, and with most of our friends and family living hundreds of miles away we wanted 2 good sized spare rooms to put up guests.

We've since extended, so the 3 of us (we now have a daughter) have 4 permanent bedrooms, 1 home office/bedroom and 1 gym/bedroom.

It works for us!!!

We're you previously unemployed and now recently employed on a zero hours contract and / or in a position of negative equity on a previous purchase with no reasonable security of tenure?

Its a reasonable question for most average earners.

When we have rented ( and boy have we rented) we've rented the smallest to meet our needs so we can continue to build our deposit.

Now we are a couple with no children in a considerably larger home, and there are several reasons why people might do this, like you did, like we have....but many more reason not to. If there are reasons to answer 'we would do it because......' That make sense go for it. I can see no such telling argument fromOP's tale.

There is a chance this could continue beautifully, but if it doesn't the fallout could be very difficult for op, if I were her, I would not risk it without more 'proof' than she has conveyed from her oh.

kitrat

Whether or not your boyfriend is an a*se, just don't sell your flat, please!!

eschaton

1. Give up own flat to move into rented house with probably no rights.

2. Immature boyfriend who is work shy, now working on a zero hours contract and has been spoiled by mummy and daddy.


Landed on your feet there eh?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow

shop-to-drop wrote: »

You are the only one with something to lose in this senario. Sounds like he wants to get the upper hand and control in the relationship which he will have once you lose your independence and security. His strops over you not just falling into line over this say a lot about him.

This says it all

Errata

I hope th OP has noticed nobody has said "Wonderful idea, go for it, you're life will be wonderful"

justme111

Op , I would been concerned about pressure you feel under. It is inconsiderate of him to put you under pressure like that and this only would be enough for me to put me off the idea. Because to me it would shown he does not bother what I think and feel (he does you would sau and no doubt there are examples of cases when.he does but it is easy to be nice when it does not mean to go against what one wants , the issue is how nice one is when things do not go as one wants them to ). I would be weary about him being stopped from.moving in.with me by "too little space and too much clutter". Does tell me one values his comfortore than my company.
I understand what he saying , that he does not like you thinking about negative scenarios. So probably in your reasoning "why not" better stick to reaso.s that are not built on protecting yourself if you fall out. You will be worse off financially if you sell doesn't matter whether you are with him or not. You like to live on your own.territory. you do not want bills for big house. You do mot want his parents as landlords.
Having said that if you feel brave and want it you.could.let your.house and love in with.him . Just be ready for a bumpy ride and don't burn the bridges x