Don't know what to do

Any

aliasojo wrote: »

I'm really not sure why you posted?

You have already decided what you will do. You say you cannot stand up to Granny so there you are. Off you go to the meeting.

If you were remotely interested in gathering support to help you find the strength to not go, you wouldn't have posted as you have. Imo. All you have done is supply reasons why you can't say no.

I agree.

OP what exactly do you think will happen if you say no to you granny?
To say something to her is too "cheeky", but for her to send you to your worse life scenario is.... what exactly???? Allowable somehow?? Excusable somehow?? Her right somehow?? I don't get it.
Why can she be nasty but you cannot make your own decisions??
What if you won't go - what can and will she do??

Vicky123

You say Granny is too sentimental and would cry, but then describe someone who is a total control freak that no one dare cross, personally I would consider her tears phoney and just her chosen tool for control.
Only you can decide if you meet this sperm donor or not, maybe curiosity, maybe you want closure but ultimately your decision, not granny's.

ilovelondontown

Not to be harsh, but Granny can go and do one.

OP I feel for you I really do, you have suffered so much in your life and you're the same age as me. You sound like a loyal, honest person who feels some kind of duty to your nan but honestly this is NOT up to Granny, it's up to you.

The only reason you're concemplating going is for your gran, this is NOT a good enough reason.

Your father sounds like a horrible man and I'd wage money on it that the only reason he wants to see you is to either beg for your forgiveness (which he doesn't deserve) or to try and emotionally attach himself to you again so he can get that sense of power back.

Honestly I see no good reason for going and I feel that if you're coming to a forum to ask for advice on the matter it only confirms your hesitation to go and you're looking for an answer you already have.

Hugs and best of luck to you.

ps. I truly hope you realise that all those horrible things he said to you were not true.

ifonlyitwaseasier

"Granny, if you loved me, you wouldn't ask me to do something which will cause me pain"

^^ that is your phrase and if she persists and tries to emotionally blackmail you, remember that you are able to make your own decicions

Tish_P

Don't go. Making yourself miserable to "keep the peace" never keeps the peace in the long run.
How much does Granny know about what he did?

Money_maker

Yoshi2 wrote: »

Granny won't take no for an answer, she says I must go and meet him. She says if I love her, I will go, and do it for her.

Perhaps Granny is being threatened by your dad? Funny expression to use when he's not even a blood relative. Dig a little deeper, OP.

tesuhoha

Your granny can berate you as much as she likes but she cannot physically make you take the action involved in going to meet your father. It is you who will/will not do that and therefore it is you making the choice, not her.

Yoshi2

Tish_P wrote: »

Don't go. Making yourself miserable to "keep the peace" never keeps the peace in the long run.
How much does Granny know about what he did?

......................

aliasojo

Yoshi2 wrote: »

Deep down I knew granny would be huffed if I'd done that.

I'm really struggling to believe you.

Mojisola

Yoshi2 wrote: »

I was sick of him doing that so I found out where he lived. I went round to his house to tell him to stop it. I wasn't going for an argument. I was afraid of him but I still went because I wasn't going to have him controlling us.

He roared and shouted at me, lifted me by my wrists, up off my feet, and threw me through the air down the hill so I landed on my back on the road. My handbag had fallen off. He lifted it and threw it at me.

I was laying on the ground crying and sore, he didn't offer to help me up. Instead he came down the street roaring after me and I was running down the street waiting to get attacked again. I had to lock myself in the car and try to recover before leaving. My hand were grazed and had bits of grit from the road in them.

My good aunt wanted me to go to the police but mum and I were too scared because he knew where we lived and he could have come and taken revenge.

And you are willing to meet up with this thug again because granny will cry if you don't?:(:(