Two plus two equals five (I hope)

heyboo

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

I'm surgically attached to my phone these days after years of moaning about the fascination people seem to have with them. I got a smartphone a few weeks ago and now I'm one of those people I detested not too long ago!

My life is on there, I paid for it in cash so I'm not letting the darn thing out my sight!

Cut her some slack OP.

Just to add - I'm most definitely NOT having an affair so sudden attachment to phone could mean anything.

This is me too - I use it for everything...everyone I know does as well! I have an 8 month old and I keep it with me so I can read things during long feeding sessions or if sitting outside his room waiting for the crying to subside (thankfully those days are few and far between now) or for taking lots of photos and videos.

My first thought was actually that she might fancy baby number 4....there isn't an ovulation tracker on her phone is there?

Lunar_Eclipse

Has she changed her diet, started exercising or lost weight recently? All of these things can drastically change the way you feel about yourself and from personal experience, make me feel more attractive and confident in the bedroom.

The phone secrecy is suspicious, but it could be something as innocent as receiving life coaching boosts, motivation sayings throughout the day etc.

I don't know why you don't ask her. You don't need to say anything about what you think could be going on, just that you've noticed a positive change, are delighted with the way things currently are etc, but what brought it on (caus you want to do the same?!) There don't need to be any accusations, but you're giving her the opportunity to explain, or open up if needs be.

Hezzawithkids

Errata wrote: »

deary me, it sounds like the poor woman is in the wrong when she doesn't and in the wrong when she does.

This ^^^ Cut the woman some slack OP, jumping to unfounded conclusions is obviously eating you up. I'm 2 stone heavier than before having kids and I don't exactly have a lot of body confidence. My libido goes AWOL occasionally (due to being menopausal) and other times I'm all over OH like a bad rash, that doesn't mean I'm having an affair.

And why didn't you jump in the bath with her instead of snooping around her phone?

Fosterdog

Maybe she's not getting texts all the time but game notifications, if she has the same alert set for both you wouldn't know either way.

No matter how suspicious I would be livid if OH went through my phone like that. If he asked me I would hand it over and he can look at whatever he wants but to sneak around is going too far.

LandyAndy

The boards seem to be full of newbies with troll like problems atm. Just saying.

Amanda65

I am constantly amazed that people who are in a seemingly happy and secure relationship (as indicated by OP) decide it is a better idea to come on to a public money saving forum and speculate about the state of their marriage rather than sit down with their partner and have a conversation :huh:

OP my advice would be to sit down this evening with your wife, tell her that you love the increased intimacy in your relationship but that your mind in whirring into overdrive and explain your concerns.

justme111

LandyAndy wrote: »

The boards seem to be full of newbies with troll like problems atm. Just saying.

Ah , that's free entertainment for us anyway then

nom_de_plume

Has anyone else nipped out and bought the wife an iphone and 50 shades of grey or is it just me?

paulineb_2

Foxtrot_Alpha wrote: »

I'm sure there must be a good explanation, as I managed to seperate her from her phone long enough to have a quick peek at it last night while she went for a bath.

The first thing I noticed is that she's now got a lock screen on it which I know she didn't have before (she's still on IOS 6 so it's not something that is automatically on and I know she didn't have it on before).

As I've said before, she's very predictable and I guessed the code correctly at the 2nd attempt.

I had a quick nosey around and to be honest there doesn't look like anything odd on there, all the texts are innocent enough, there's no '50 Shades' type books on there (she read them all last year anyway, and that did coincide with a small peak in bedroom activity, which soon dried up again unfortunately).

The only thing I couldn't see was her browsing history on Safari. I'm not sure if she's always had that set to private or not though, so I'm now non the wiser as to why she's being so protective over her phone. It doesn't make any sense. I was half expecting to find she'd been 'sexting' someone as her phone seems to be getting a ton of texts recently, but unless she's been deleting it after she's done it I couldn't find anything obvious. Maybe I'm not giving her enough credit when it comes to covering her tracks.

I'm still very uncomfortable thinking about asking her unless I've actually got something concrete to back it up with incase she is up to something and lies to my face.

Edit - I know she plays Candy Crush, it keeps coming up on my FB feed...

Or maybe shes not doing anything she shouldnt be

SueC_2

Suspicious as it may be, I wouldn't necessarily assume the worst of her phone behaviour.

There has only been one period in my life when I became absolutely wedded to my phone and went into a blind panic if my other half got hold of it for any reason. It was absolutely nothing to do with me being 'up to no good' in any way at all.

A friend of mine was going through a desperately unhappy time in her life, and was sending me regular texts offloading and sharing some very personal information - it was easier for her to text than talk. Those texts were sent to me because she trusted me implicitly; and she would have been absolutely mortified to think that anyone else could have seen them. So, for the duration of that period, my phone was in my hand or in my pocket and no-one else ever got their hands on it.

My OH may well have been suspicous. But he'd have been worrying needlessly.