Two plus two equals five (I hope)

tea_lover

SueC wrote: »

A friend of mine was going through a desperately unhappy time in her life, and was sending me regular texts offloading and sharing some very personal information - it was easier for her to text than talk. Those texts were sent to me because she trusted me implicitly; and she would have been absolutely mortified to think that anyone else could have seen them. So, for the duration of that period, my phone was in my hand or in my pocket and no-one else ever got their hands on it.

There's also nothing like a friend with relationship difficulties to make you look harder at your own situation, and possibly come to the conclusion that there are areas where you can make more effort (eg. the bedroom).

scooby088

SueC wrote: »

Suspicious as it may be, I wouldn't necessarily assume the worst of her phone behaviour.

There has only been one period in my life when I became absolutely wedded to my phone and went into a blind panic if my other half got hold of it for any reason. It was absolutely nothing to do with me being 'up to no good' in any way at all.

A friend of mine was going through a desperately unhappy time in her life, and was sending me regular texts offloading and sharing some very personal information - it was easier for her to text than talk. Those texts were sent to me because she trusted me implicitly; and she would have been absolutely mortified to think that anyone else could have seen them. So, for the duration of that period, my phone was in my hand or in my pocket and no-one else ever got their hands on it.

My OH may well have been suspicous. But he'd have been worrying needlessly.

But would you have lied to your OH if he had asked who was texting you?


This could be a possibility but so could be cheating if you take everything else the OP has said. I would ask my OH straight why she keeps her phone at her side all the time. Best get it out in the open rather than sneek about looking at the phone whilst she is in the bath.

SueC_2

scooby088 wrote: »

But would you have lied to your OH if he had asked who was texting you?

No, absolutely not.

But if he was suspiciously minded, would he have believed me?

Foxtrot_Alpha

I'm starting to wonder if maybe I am being a little paranoid over nothing. I appreciate that checking her phone was a bit OTT but it's sort of put my mind at ease a bit more. I was expecting to find allsorts of things I didn't want to see but I didn't see anything much to worry about. It also saves me having to have an awkward chat with her about things. Besides, what she doesn't know won't hurt her, and for those people wittering on about how I'd feel if she checked my phone, I've caught her doing it a handful of times and it's never bothered me once. I don't have anything to hide!

Think I'll just keep my eyes and ears open a bit longer but I'm starting to wonder if maybe she's not up to anything and I'm just over-reacting to her not being her usual self.

Gigglepig

I think it is a wise decision to take a step back and not be so paranoid. Perhaps rather focus your energy and attention on improving the relationship, and being together a s a couple again? Hopefully down the line you can look back and laugh at this.

tea_lover

Foxtrot_Alpha wrote: »

Besides, what she doesn't know won't hurt her,

That's a bit rich coming from someone practically accusing his wife of cheating.

scooby088

tea_lover wrote: »

That's a bit rich coming from someone practically accusing his wife of cheating.

He was actually commenting on his wife looking in his phone, surely it should work both ways. If she doesn't know he was looking then it's not going to hurt anything is it?

tea_lover

scooby088 wrote: »

He was actually commenting on his wife looking in his phone, surely it should work both ways. If she doesn't know he was looking then it's not going to hurt anything is it?

I'm well aware of what he was commenting on, I just think it's massively hypocritical. His wife can't use her own phone or have sex with her own husband without being accused of cheating, but he can snoop through her phone and that's fine because "what she doesn't know won't hurt her". I think it shows a complete lack of respect.

aileth

Foxtrot_Alpha wrote: »

I don't have anything to hide!

Neither does she it seems, yet she doesn't know you checked hers.

I'd be mighty p***ed if my OH was going out of his way to secretly check my phone.

Why is she checking your phone anyway? Was she just using it for something or did she actually say she thought you were having an affair? Maybe you do have something to hide if she had a basis for doing so?

mellymoo74

This is one of those threads where if it had been a woman posting about her husband the reaction would have been very different.