Two plus two equals five (I hope)

Alleycat

Like some of the others, my first thought was Fifty Shades too! If she were having an affair, surely she wouldn't suddenly be interested in getting a bit more keen and experimental in bed with you.

Mine and my husband's sex life had been pretty boring and almost non existent since having our kids but when I read the trilogy a while ago, I made many more moves on him and became a bit more outgoing shall we say!

Hiding her phone especially as it's an IPhone suggests that she might be reading those or similar books on there and would be embarrassed if you found them. I know I didn't admit to my husband that that was what had been behind it all until we were drunk a few weeks later!

Don't jump to conclusions. Talk to her, ask her in a nice, maybe jokey way what's caused the sudden increase in sexual appetite. If she's anything like me, she'll probably be a bit embarrassed but hopefully will open up.

victory

Did you ask her yet?

marisco_2

The woman cant win. After a few years of your sex life lacking vitality and being predictable, your wife has tried to reconnect with you in an intimate way. Instead of enjoying this your mind is racing and fearing the worst, with you thinking that she could be having an affair with a guy who is teaching her all these new techniques! Why can there be no middle ground? Such as now your youngest child is a little older, possibly sleeping through better and not so dependant and demanding on your wife, she has more energy and time to focus on your relationship. She may have thought things through and decided that your love life needs some attention and effort.

Don't go snooping around looking at her phone trying to catch her out. By taking this approach you risk her discovering that you don't trust her and are checking up on her. That could open up a whole can of worms. Just talk to her, If you cant speak openly about this after 10 years of marriage something is seriously amiss. Bare in mind that there could be many reasons why she carries the phone with her. If it is a new expensive model maybe she is worried about leaving it around, in case one of your kids picks it up and tries to use it or damages it. Is a birthday or anniversary coming up? Perhaps she has been busy arranging some kind of nice surprise and doesn't want you finding out about it in advance.

Treevo

If you thought your sex life was stagnant then so she probably did too.

Maybe it's time you surprised her by coming home on one of her days off, arranging a babysitter and bringing her champagne and a variety of fumble-friendly finger foods. Etc.

justme111

Finally someone talking sense.
Whenever a man says a woman does not want him it means it means he does not offer her what she could look forward to in that department. I was gobsmacked to read people suggest you question her instead of taking a look at yourself and trying to keep up.
Why does it matter so much what prompted her to change , asking question can easily ruin a mood in such a delicate subject. If instead of enjoying it and reciprocating and beaming the day after you are going to question her she may recoil with embarrassment and then itat ruin it for good. Then she may well look for appreciation elsewhere.
On a side note , it never stops to amaze me how people have no sex life for years and then are shocked their husband /wife had an affair.

nodiscount

The phone thing is classic sign of hiding things. Coud she be getting some extra attention from someone and hiding the texts? Increased libido is one of the signs of an affair.

Kynthia

My first thought was that she's reading something naughty or googling naughty stories or sex tips on her phone. You'd be amazed how much an effect that reading can have on a woman's libido as imagination is so much better than visual imagery. Some women can also be embarrassed being caught doing this.

I know that people say a sign of an affair is when someone becomes surgically attached to their phone, but i'd really hope there were more signs before you go destroying the trust in your marriage. How is your relationship otherwise? Do you spend time together, talk, have romance or any non-sexual intimacy, laugh together, etc?

Lotus-eater

I'm guessing she is talking in a sexual way to someone online and this is increasing her libido.
It doesn't mean it's the end of the world for your marriage, nor that she wants an affair, she could be just happy someone is paying her the attention she wants.
Talk to her about it. I'm guessing she is alot happier as well.

justme111

Even if she had an affair(I do not approve but can understand, pressure of kids and boring if any sex at home ) - I guess you want to keep your marriage, I do not see the point in questioning her rather than reconnecting.

thehappybutterfly

I'm surgically attached to my phone these days after years of moaning about the fascination people seem to have with them. I got a smartphone a few weeks ago and now I'm one of those people I detested not too long ago!

My life is on there, I paid for it in cash so I'm not letting the darn thing out my sight!

Cut her some slack OP.

Just to add - I'm most definitely NOT having an affair so sudden attachment to phone could mean anything.