Staying in a hotel when visiting friends

Mojisola

Prothet_of_Doom wrote: »

I would be offended if a friend stayed in a hotel local to me. I would assume that they were OCD, and believed my house to be somehow unclean.

Unless you have a hang-up yourself about cleanliness, why would you think that?

There could be many reasons why someone would prefer to stay in a hotel - it could just be a case of liking their own space or it could be something very personal that they wouldn't want to disclose.

If you're good enough friends with someone that you'd invite them to stay at your house, why not just respect their choice if they prefer a hotel?

*Robin*

BugglyB wrote: »

And next time, instead of saying ‘I’m coming to visit you’ why not say ‘I’m in <whatever town it is> in a few weeks, how about meeting up?’

An excellent idea! :T

Hermia

Prothet_of_Doom wrote: »

I would be offended if a friend stayed in a hotel local to me. I would assume that they were OCD, and believed my house to be somehow unclean.

There are lots of other reasons besides thinking there is something wrong with your house.

I'm an introvert and finding it mentally exhausting to be around people all the time. I enjoy visiting people, but really NEED to be to retreat to a hotel. I'm also quite a light sleeper so noises that wouldn't bother others (e.g. kids constantly going to loo in the night) would really bother me.

FatVonD

I would say something like 'my IBS is really playing up and I'll feel more comfortable in a hotel room where I have my own toilet and can fart to my hearts content'

Bogof_Babe

BugglyB wrote: »

I'm amazed that you're spending time/money going to visit people that you don't feel comfortable enough with to say 'I'm tired, I'd like to go to sleep now'.

I'm a bit long in the tooth for post-rave sleepovers, and the only times I've stayed at someone's house recently it has been family. Much as I love the family concerned, there's no substitute for your own space, where you don't feel you're getting in the way of their busy lives (two teenage kids at the time, and both parents had stressful jobs - it wasn't a social visit, it was necessity to see an elderly relative who lived in a care home nearby). We did it a couple of times but it wasn't really working, either for our hosts or for us, so we eventually took the ultimate step of buying our own little flat nearby, a decision I've never regretted for a minute even though the elderly relative (my mum actually) is no longer with is ).

The other time was when we went to Ireland, again for family reasons (interring the parents' ashes in the family crypt actually ). We were invited to stay with a cousin and her husband (both of whom I love to bits, they are so easy-going), along with their three adult children, various small grandkids, cousin's sibling and two grown-up sons, also my sister and her family, so a houseful. Those gatherings always turn into late-night drinking sessions and I don't drink, and can't hear well or make myself heard in crowds (I have a weak voice), so don't enjoy them. Our marriage was a bit rocky too at the time, so we made our apologies with genuine thanks for the invite, and stayed in a hotel up the road.

Besides, to me half the pleasure of going away is staying in a nice hotel, without the pressure of having to socialise all the time if I'm not in the mood.

Hermia wrote: »

There are lots of other reasons besides thinking there is something wrong with your house.

I'm an introvert and finding it mentally exhausting to be around people all the time. I enjoy visiting people, but really NEED to be to retreat to a hotel. I'm also quite a light sleeper so noises that wouldn't bother others (e.g. kids constantly going to loo in the night) would really bother me.

Exactly! :T

Mojisola

FatVonD wrote: »

I would say something like 'my IBS is really playing up and I'll feel more comfortable in a hotel room where I have my own toilet and can fart to my hearts content'

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

BugglyB

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

I'm a bit long in the tooth for post-rave sleepovers, and the only times I've stayed at someone's house recently it has been family. Much as I love the family concerned, there's no substitute for your own space, where you don't feel you're getting in the way of their busy lives (two teenage kids at the time, and both parents had stressful jobs - it wasn't a social visit, it was necessity to see an elderly relative who lived in a care home nearby). We did it a couple of times but it wasn't really working, either for our hosts or for us, so we eventually took the ultimate step of buying our own little flat nearby, a decision I've never regretted for a minute even though the elderly relative (my mum actually) is no longer with is ).

The other time was when we went to Ireland, again for family reasons (interring the parents' ashes in the family crypt actually ). We were invited to stay with a cousin and her husband (both of whom I love to bits, they are so easy-going), along with their three adult children, various small grandkids, cousin's sibling and two grown-up sons, also my sister and her family, so a houseful. Those gatherings always turn into late-night drinking sessions and I don't drink, and can't hear well or make myself heard in crowds (I have a weak voice), so don't enjoy them. Our marriage was a bit rocky too at the time, so we made our apologies with genuine thanks for the invite, and stayed in a hotel up the road.

Besides, to me half the pleasure of going away is staying in a nice hotel, without the pressure of having to socialise all the time if I'm not in the mood.



Exactly! :T

Ah well, your examples are completely different to the OP then. Neither of those is a social 'going to visit someone' for a night out - in which case I would ask why you didn't feel comfortable saying 'its 2am, I'm exhausted, I'm going to sleep'.

If you are doing something stressful like visiting an elderly relative or going to a funeral I can see why you would need the space of a hotel room.

And this:

"along with their three adult children, various small grandkids, cousin's sibling and two grown-up sons, also my sister and her family, so a houseful."

shudder!

balletshoes

Prothet_of_Doom wrote: »

I would be offended if a friend stayed in a hotel local to me. I would assume that they were OCD, and believed my house to be somehow unclean.

Even if the only place you could offer your friend to sleep was in bed with you?

lostinrates

I prefer staying in hotels too.

The only thing I would suggest tentatively is that you are only twenty four and I'm guessing that you might be single as you are going on these trips alone. If you hope to have a live in relationship (not everyone does) inflexibilities and intolerances are easy to grow when we spend too much time alone and I'd enjoy your hotel but caution you to be aware of remaining open so that you can be patient about future noisey, kicky partners if need be!

Norma_Desmond

I'm a very quiet, private person (okay, antisocial ) and I'd love to stay in a hotel when we visit DH's parents and younger sister, but he thinks the very suggestion would offend them.

They even give up their bedroom for the couple of nights we stay which I'm not comfortable with, and 5 adults sharing the bathroom is hardly relaxing, or to be honest, not what I'm used to.

Even though DH comes from a large family, he has hinted that it all feels a bit manic to him too after living the quiet life for so many years.

Oh and just for the record I can't stand people staying with us either - and it's only his parents who do.