Staying in a hotel when visiting friends

greenorange

I'm a young'ish guy (24) who often visits friends around the country for nights out etc. I usually book a hotel instead of taking them up on their offer to crash on their floor/sofa-bed, even if it's just one friend I'm going to visit.

My friends always seem a little 'offish' that I choose to stay in a hotel rather than crashing at theirs. "Why waste the money" "It's fine at mine" etc.

I think I'm just one of these people who likes to know I don't need to rely on anyone else when I want to go to sleep, and I like having my own space and generally just feel more comfortable having a hotel room.

Would you get offended at this or am I being rude not staying at theirs? One of my friends has 'aired' their opinion on this recently and it's got me thinking...

Tiddlywinks

I prefer hotels to friends / family spare room as well...

I just tell people that I'm not a morning person and like to chill a while on my own 'til I feel human.

Once they understand that it's me not them then they laugh about it.

nom_de_plume

I always prefer my 'own space'. On a recent trip with a group I belong to, I paid extra to have my own room rather than sharing with another near stranger. For me the difference is a decent night's sleep versus half a nights sleep being constantly woken by strange noises, etc.

balletshoes

if its just one night you're visiting, and you have a bed/sofa/airbed you can sleep on at your friends, then I can kind of understand a friend being a little put out that you haven't taken up their offer.

If its for more than one night, and/or you only have a floor to sleep on, then I'd be booking into a hotel too .

greenorange

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

I prefer hotels to friends / family spare room as well...

I just tell people that I'm not a morning person and like to chill a while on my own 'til I feel human.

Once they understand that it's me not them then they laugh about it.

Glad I'm not the only one. £20-£30 for a cheap B&B room and I feel so much more comfortable having my own space and just a little reassurance I'm not relying on anyone else, plus like you said, you can get up when you like.

My friends think I'm just odd.

peachyprice

If it's just one night I would find it a little peculiar, any longer I would be grateful they didn't want to stay with me

Torry_Quine

I wouldn't be offended if a friend preferred to stay in a hotel but would welcome an explanation! Family is different though and a few years ago when my cousin's mother was in hospital they stayed in a hotel rather than my spare room. I did feel slighted on that occassion.

greenorange

balletshoes wrote: »

if its just one night you're visiting, and you have a bed/sofa/airbed you can sleep on at your friends, then I can kind of understand a friend being a little put out that you haven't taken up their offer.

If its for more than one night, and/or you only have a floor to sleep on, then I'd be booking into a hotel too .

It is only for one night this time (next week). Some times it's for a few days however.

Tiddlywinks

It's the explanation that's important - otherwise some people will take it personally.

That's why I make sure they do know that it's me with the need for space and not that I don't think their home or company is good enough.

Bogof_Babe

I hate that awkwardness when you can't keep your eyes open and no-one is making the first move towards going to bed. Also if you need to get up for the loo in the night, you worry about waking everyone. And is it okay to have a bath or shower in the morning, or will you be taking all the hot water?

Hotel for me every time.

balletshoes

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I wouldn't be offended if a friend preferred to stay in a hotel but would welcome an explanation! Family is different though and a few years ago when my cousin's mother was in hospital they stayed in a hotel rather than my spare room. I did feel slighted on that occassion.

I have to say I can't imagine taking any offence if someone - family or friend - preferred, for whatever reason, to stay in a hotel rather than in my home. There could be all sorts of reasons for it, and especially in stressful situations where you might be popping in and out to hospital etc, it would be a lot easier to catch your breath/have your space/quiet time in a hotel room.