Staying in a hotel when visiting friends

ERICS_MUM

Turtle wrote: »

Am I the only one who doesn't want people to stay? We have a couple of friends who stay once a year for one night, which we offer and I'm happy to have them. But we both heave a big sigh of relief we can get back to normal when they've gone home.

Oh and just to add I don't like staying at other people's houses either. I find it awkward.

I'm the same on both counts, even with family (except Mum). I like my own space, feel relaxed in my pj's and have my radio on all night ! In the mornings I like to potter, watch telly with a mug of tea.

I wouldn't expect this to offend anyone, and nor would I be offended if someone preferred to stay in a hotel.

w211

Hotel for me, every time.

You can do what you like, when you like. Have your own key/card to come and go as you please. Have you own toilet and bathroom, and not worrying if you make a mess or not. If you stay more than one night at a hotel, you're room will be cleaned and made for the night. You will also have your own independence, rather than being in the presence of your host 24 hours a day. If you want to do a bit of shopping on your own, etc. in the morning after, you can - just tell your friend that you'll meet them later that morning.

Netwizard

I don't see that many friends for drinks, but the one friend I do see lives in the same town, and I always stop round her house (usually when her BF is staying too, as he is my best mate also).

I'm quite happy to crash on the sofa. A taxi back to my own place would only be £6 or so, but I don't feel uncomfortable round there.

I also like my own space and now, I'd much rather opt for a hotel than camp (some of my friends love camping - sod that! Hotel every time), but I think just for a few nights, crashing round someone's house is ok.

The few GOOD GENUINE friends that i do have, have seen me at my worst, still puking up the morning after the night before. It doesn't get much worse than that :rotfl:

fluffnutter

It wouldn't bother me, but I can see how people might feel a little snubbed, having offered their hospitality and all that. But good friends will know you well, surely, and not mind overly. Personally I solve the problem by never going anywhere - other people's houses and hotels suck.

daisiegg

I would be slightly offended but that is because we have a nice guest bedroom with a king sized bed and an en suite, on the opposite side of the house to us. If I was expecting people to sleep on the floor/sofa etc I would completely understand if they chose to stay in a hotel.

On the other hand, I hate staying with friends or relatives for lots of the reasons already mentioned on this thread. So I can't really talk!

FatVonD

daisiegg wrote: »

I would be slightly offended but that is because we have a nice guest bedroom with a king sized bed and an en suite, on the opposite side of the house to us.

That sounds better than home, when's it free?

lika_86

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

BUT... this wouldn't be about you would it? In this scenario the friend would have said 'hey, I'd rather stay in a hotel as I get grumpy in the mornings and need my own space 'til I get human again'... why would you assume it was meant as a slight?

Clearly it has slighted the friend though and so is an issue.

Let's say that the hospitality that was offered wasn't a bed for the night but was instead them cooking you dinner before going out. Whilst you might politely say that you don't want to put them to any effort, to suggest that instead you would be more comfortable eating out at a restaurant, would in my opinion clearly be a slight to the host. Even if the cooking isn't quite up to the standards you might find in a restaurant, a good friend and guest would accept the host's offer with grace.

Prothet_of_Doom

I would be offended if a friend stayed in a hotel local to me. I would assume that they were OCD, and believed my house to be somehow unclean.

BugglyB

I wouldn’t spend money on a hotel room from 1am to 8am the next day (for example) if there was a decent alternative. Even if it meant someone passing me on the stairs to go to the loo!

I draw the line at literally sleeping on the floor but a couch or camp bed is fine.

I think the problem is you are offending your friends. So you need to offer them some reassurance that its not that their place is not good enough for you. I’m afraid, this is the assumption I would make if my friends decided to stay in a hotel instead of my place.

And next time, instead of saying ‘I’m coming to visit you’ why not say ‘I’m in <whatever town it is> in a few weeks, how about meeting up?’

BugglyB

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

I hate that awkwardness when you can't keep your eyes open and no-one is making the first move towards going to bed. Also if you need to get up for the loo in the night, you worry about waking everyone. And is it okay to have a bath or shower in the morning, or will you be taking all the hot water?

Hotel for me every time.

I'm amazed that you're spending time/money going to visit people that you don't feel comfortable enough with to say 'I'm tired, I'd like to go to sleep now'.