Husband Problems

Umistboy

j.e.j. wrote: »

YOU'LL do it. Typical man!

Either a) that's both sexist and unfair or b) it is a joke which would be highly inappropriate given the content of the thread.

Pinksocks_2

I have asked him to start the business or look for a job I get an earful. He has no money I support him.

We just go round in circles.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Pinksocks wrote: »

I have asked him to start the business or look for a job I get an earful. He has no money I support him.

We just go round in circles.

Divert your wages into an account only you can access
Put the equipment that he bought up for sale
Tell him he either pitches in or he leaves as you are pretty much a single mum already by the looks of it.

paulineb_2

Pinksocks wrote: »

Yeah I think I am an enabler, he can get verbally aggressive and I back down for a quiet life and to protect the kids.

I suppose another question is how long do I leave this situation to "run" before I leave him?

I have nobody to give me another perspective on my situation, that's why your advice is valuable to me.

It's so easy to get bogged down and confused.

I have no idea how long you leave this situation before you leave him, all I will say, before you go if thats what you want to do, get some legal advice.

balletshoes

Pinksocks wrote: »

Yeah I think I am an enabler, he can get verbally aggressive and I back down for a quiet life and to protect the kids.

I suppose another question is how long do I leave this situation to "run" before I leave him?

I have nobody to give me another perspective on my situation, that's why your advice is valuable to me.

It's so easy to get bogged down and confused.

it depends - for me, I'd tell him, in no uncertain terms, that I can't go on like this, and that he needs to work in the house if he's not working in a job, and that starts tomorrow morning. Discuss and sort out with him what he now has responsibility for every day, and let him get on with it (don't take over and don't do it if he doesn't).

Only if he cannot/will not get on board and do anything to help you run the house, would I then be looking at getting out. Remember, when you go, you're still going to be doing everything as you won't be living with your OH. Its not fair what he's doing right now, what he's been doing for the last 12 months, it definitely sounds like he hasn't been pulling his weight.

notanewuser

Pinksocks wrote: »

I am also having to do the housework and cooking.

Please give me any advice as what to do?

Stop this (for him at least).

Pinksocks_2

Thanks lots to think about, but I knew that already.

Will think about a separate account.

Thanks for all the opinions and advice xx

notanewuser

Pinksocks wrote: »

If I didn't clean, shop, cook it wouldn't get done. I am so tired and emotional, he even stopped signing on as it was too stressful for him, he signed off after the JSA stopped but his stamp isn't being paid now.

Sorry don't want to say what trade as people may recognise me, sorry.

So he'll be screwing you both in retirement too.

Can you list a few trades which include his plus similar types of trade?

duchy

I'd suggest you give Women's Aid a call for support if you are scared of him or he's using (even an unspoken) threat of kicking off to get his own way.

Frankly I'd stop supporting him as he's not contributing in any way to the household.

notanewuser

List the equipment on ebay NOW and show him the link. If he's not planning on using it then he doesn't need it.