Husband Problems

nom_de_plume

Depression to some degree was my first thought, as I read this thread from start to here. I've never, to my knowledge, suffered depression but have certainly talked myself out of starting many a project only to eventually pick up the tools one day and get started to then realize it wasn't that tough after all. It's taking the first steps that's generally the hardest.

It sounds to me that you want to make things work and massive respect to you for that!

Talking to your husband may work but be careful that you don't push him into a deeper hole than he already seems to be in. Be very careful of making him feel worthless!
I would suggest trying to slowly build up his motivation again. Someone upthread mentioned small steps and I think this is the way to go. Can you leave him a small list of jobs to do? Make it VERY easily achievable and, if he does complete them, reward him. That reward can be as simple as a few words of praise. It's all about building up his self esteem and confidence again.

I may be a million miles off the mark and he may be a total loser as others have suggested but I hope I'm right. He also sounds to be very lucky having you behind him.

Good luck, best wishes and keep us posted!

Errata

A lot of people are suggesting depression. Are they overlooking the emotional abuse the OP is being subjected to?

Tish_P

Depression is a terrible illness but it's not a get-away-with-treating-your-partner-badly-for-as-long-as-you-like card. It's not unreasonable for the OP to say "get treatment for your depression and work toward getting us out of this soul-destroying rut, or I will leave".