Husband Problems

marisco_2

In that case I would suggest doing all you can to persuade him to go and see his gp. Firstly though he needs to accept that he has a problem and to want to seek help for it.

I do think that if you left him rather than this giving him a kick up the backside to sort himself out, it could affect him really badly and set him back even further. You know him better than any of us of course though so are best placed to assess that.

Errata

So ....... he walks the dog, watches telly and indulges in a bit of domestic emotional abuse for a hobby!
If he says he's not depressed, take him at his word because I think it's ultimatum time.

candygirl

Errata wrote: »

So ....... he walks the dog, watches telly and indulges in a bit of domestic emotional abuse for a hobby!
If he says he's not depressed, take him at his word because I think it's ultimatum time.

Love your down to the knuckle approach hun .It's refreshing xx:p

notanewuser

paulineb wrote: »

I certainly wouldnt be selling thousands of pounds worth of equipment on ebay, it could massively backfire if someone got it for peanuts.

It wouldn't have to be sold.

It's a wake up call.

barbiedoll

I know that men can be a bit bone idle if they have nothing to do all day. When my DH had his hours cut in half, he spent the whole day surfing the net and watching daytime telly. (He works nights) I'd get a text at around 3pm asking me to pick up bread or milk on the way home, when I'd be expected to sort out dinner and clear up afterwards. I soon put my foot down about that! :mad:
I find that you have to be specific when asking men to do stuff, it's no good moaning that "nothing gets done", you have to tell them that the washing-up needs doing or the hoovering should be done every day etc.

I don't like the sound of this verbal aggression though, especially when you say that you give in to "protect the kids". Even if he is depressed, he shouldn't be aggressive towards you and the children, and he's probably staying in bed all morning because he's been up all night in front of the tv. Plus, it's too much work in the morning, we'd all like to stay in bed until the kids are out of the way, wouldn't we?

Do you rent your home or pay a mortgage? Are you on the deeds/tenancy agreement? If you want to leave or to get rid of him, do get legal advice first. If you are a member of a union at work, you may be able to get legal advice through them. If not, CAB would be a good place to start, as would Woman's Aid.

You don't have to put up with this.

Blackpool_Saver

another abusive, controlling lazy pig....GET RID, I hope you don't have a male child watching this and thinking this is how you treat women

pinkshoes

Definitely ultimatum time!

You really can't go on like this!

Write him a list of chores to do tomorrow, and make it clear that unless he does the cooking, cleaning and shopping, or gets a job, then you and the kids are leaving.

Life is too short.

Treevo

Kick him out. You don't need another child to look after.

Pechow

Pinksocks wrote: »

I just don't know what to do, if he is depressed I'd feel awful.

As one of many posters on here diagnosed with depression-don't be. It isn't an excuse. If you've asked him outright and he refuses to so much as help out, that's not depression preventing him doing that.

Vicky123

What was he like when he was working? If he was always a bit aggressive then not working is going to make that problem a whole lot worse.
I honestly think if people don't have direction and something to get up for then their mental health is the first thing to suffer, sometimes really badly.
I would insist on the doctor visit or see a solicitor, you shouldn't have to live this way and not doing anything isn't an option, he could well become unbearable. If he isn't depressed then there is something seriously wrong with a relationship where he shows so little regard for his partner.
It's also extremely unhealthy for kids to be in this environment.