Is OH being 'greedy'?

meritaten

no dunroaming. he likes to eat at 8.00 and wants HIS food freshly cooked! I don't mind that. I am happy to eat leftovers - he isn't. its the way he was brought up - I know that and I don't mind - I DO mind him knowing that his seconds sometimes means I don't get it for lunch.

Tiddlywinks

I feel like I must live in a parallel universe...

Aren't mealtimes supposed to be sociable events? You know, where people sit down together and enjoy the food and company?

Is it so bad that someone wants a larger helping of something?

He's not nicking and selling off the family silver here... he is taking another portion of freshly prepared food. That's not the crime of the century.

Shared food is shared food...

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Wow, that's a rigid way to run a household.

Unless there is a strict need to ration, what is wrong with having another portion and then 'wife' having something different the next day?

If he is hungry, then he is hungry... what would you have him do? Cook something else entirely different?

He's effectively taking it off her plate. That's not being strict, that's having a complete knob eating your dinner because you haven't chosen to scarf it down before he gets the chance.

Tiddlywinks

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

He's effectively taking it off her plate. That's not being strict, that's having a complete knob eating your dinner because you haven't chosen to scarf it down before he gets the chance.

Good grief...

So, even if he eats a meal that is freshly prepared that he finds absolutely delicious, he is not allowed to have seconds because the 'cook' didn't prepare enough for seconds YET the bit left in the pot will not be eaten that evening but left 'til the next day?

So, those 'leftovers' go into the fridge and he has to prepare something else?

poet123

Surely, it is an odd arrangement where an evening meal is not eaten by both parties in the evening? Anything not eaten is a leftover, if it is eaten there are no leftovers, so if there are no leftovers the portions were not big enough.

coolcait

meritaten wrote: »

My OH is an adult - and after ten years I expect him to actually remember that part of supper is for me tomorrow. and that chicken bones are kept for stock (that's nearly twenty years now since I have made my own chicken stock). Am I really supposed to say every mealtime 'oh and some of that's mine?' and don't snack on tomorrows meal when your supper is cooking? oh and don't chuck out chicken bones! Every single time? a Goldfish has a better memory span!
and as for a hungry tum - the portions I serve are more than generous!

If it bothers you when he doesn't do what you want him to do, tell him. Don't run an internet poll about it.

If you know that he forgets your rules about food - maybe because they're not his rules about food - remind him on a regular basis. Preferably before he has annoyed you by failing to follow your rules.

If part of the food in the pot is for you to eat at a different time, because it suits your metabolism, take your portion out of the pot,. Then let everyone else know that your portion is out of bounds, everything else is up for grabs.

I'd love it if everyone in my family and the rest of the world remembered everything I had ever told them - be it 10 or 20 years ago.

They don't. So I set out the boundaries on a regular basis:

"There's plenty there for seconds, but leave 'x' amount for dad's lunch tomorrow"

"There's some food left over, but that's for dad's lunch tomorrow. If you're still hungry, there's .... in the fridge".

Your eating patterns don't fit in with the way that many other people eat. So I don't find it surprising that you have to keep reminding others how you and your metabolism work.

fashionlover10

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Good grief...

So, even if he eats a meal that is freshly prepared that he finds absolutely delicious, he is not allowed to have seconds because the 'cook' didn't prepare enough for seconds YET the bit left in the pot will not be eaten that evening but left 'til the next day?

So, those 'leftovers' go into the fridge and he has to prepare something else?

I don't get why she should be less 'entitled' to the food just because she's not eating it as soon as it comes out of the oven.

meritaten

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Good grief...

So, even if he eats a meal that is freshly prepared that he finds absolutely delicious, he is not allowed to have seconds because the 'cook' didn't prepare enough for seconds YET the bit left in the pot will not be eaten that evening but left 'til the next day?

So, those 'leftovers' go into the fridge and he has to prepare something else?

actually - there was enough for seconds but he took that AND my share. I couldn't believe how much he ate! I know it was delicious but this was ridiculous!
in future, My PORTION is going to go into a dish with a label 'MINE'! before he can get his paws on it!
and to think he complains I do too much food - as if I am still cooking for five!

poet123

meritaten wrote: »

actually - there was enough for seconds but he took that AND my share. I couldn't believe how much he ate! I know it was delicious but this was ridiculous!
in future, My PORTION is going to go into a dish with a label 'MINE'! before he can get his paws on it!
and to think he complains I do too much food - as if I am still cooking for five!

Surely plating up or otherwise apportioning your meal is the logical thing to do?

If I cook a meal and one of my sons is absent I plate his up as I serve it out, so that his portion is accounted for and anything else is up for grabs. I wouldn't expect the rest of the family to assume he had not had his share if I hadn't done that.

coolcait

meritaten, this entire 'issue' boils down to communication - or lack of it.

Don't rant about it on the internet. Don't build up a fine head of steam over it.

Tell him directly and calmly whatever it is that is bothering you.

Set out boundaries for the future.

And take some positive action to make your own personal eating habits and your OH's personal eating habits work together.

Whether that's telling him to cook his own meals; or putting your portion in a box marked MINE, or something else.

Ranting on the internet solves nothing. Bottling up feelings is dangerous. Take control of the thing that is irritating you, and deal with it.

Or be like Tam o'Shanter's wife.

Your choice.