Is OH being 'greedy'?

itsanne

I also don't want to be rude, but if I understand what you're saying about the chicken, half a chicken does two meals for three of you, so one chicken is expected to make twelve meals. That would suggest to me that he is probably hungry. What is his weight like - and has he been putting weight on since eating more "snacks?

You could, of course, make the main meal in time for your lunch and he could have the rest when he prefers it in the evening. Or he could do half the cooking .

meritaten

coolcait wrote: »

So, what communication have you had with him about all of this?

Did you once say to him "I use chicken bones for stock - so don't chuck them out", and expect him to remember that for all eternity?

Do you expect him to know that you are counting on having leftovers the next day, or do you point it out at the time you are serving dinner, or people are going for seconds?

If you have specific requirements or boundaries, you need to spell them out. You often have to repeat those requirements.

I'm a pragmatist. I know that people have different priorities to mine, and don't always see the same things as being 'important'. So, I'll reiterate my priorities as regularly as needed.

Right now, with a growing boy in the family, I have to reiterate my priorities on left-overs every night. A couple of times.

I'd far rather do that than find myself stewing over the fact that my priorities have been overtaken by the priorities dictated by a hungry tum.

My OH is an adult - and after ten years I expect him to actually remember that part of supper is for me tomorrow. and that chicken bones are kept for stock (that's nearly twenty years now since I have made my own chicken stock). Am I really supposed to say every mealtime 'oh and some of that's mine?' and don't snack on tomorrows meal when your supper is cooking? oh and don't chuck out chicken bones! Every single time? a Goldfish has a better memory span!
and as for a hungry tum - the portions I serve are more than generous!

Slinky_Malinky

Could he have some bread with his supper to help fill him up?

Tiddlywinks

meritaten wrote: »

My OH is an adult - and after ten years I expect him to actually remember that part of supper is for me tomorrow. and that chicken bones are kept for stock (that's nearly twenty years now since I have made my own chicken stock). Am I really supposed to say every mealtime 'oh and some of that's mine?' and don't snack on tomorrows meal when your supper is cooking? oh and don't chuck out chicken bones! Every single time? a Goldfish has a better memory span!
and as for a hungry tum - the portions I serve are more than generous!

So... if you'd already made your mind up, then why ask the question here?

I don't think greed is the word you're looking for...

I feel sorry for a bloke that can't have seconds when he fancies it.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Cor... eating seconds in your own home shouldn't be out of bounds surely?

If he is hungry then why not?

Is he particularly active and needing the calories? Is his sudden appetite increase a cause for concern medically?

Is he comfort eating?

In our house, if it's in the pan then it's available and it's every man for himself.

.....because he's knowingly eating his wife's food?

krlyr

coolcait wrote: »

What's the difference between being greedy and being hungry?

Being hungry whilst knowing that the 'spare' food is actually your OH's lunch, you have the option of asking her whether it's OK to eat it, asking her to prepare something else for you, or making your own extra snack. An adult should be capable of all three.

Being greedy is helping yourself regardless.

My OH often likes an extra snack/supper in the evening, I sometimes will have something, sometimes I don't. But I would find it very rude if he just helped himself to something kept aside without checking if it was actually going spare - especially as he knows there's stuff in the freezer specifically for that reason, and that if he really doesn't know how to cook it (or is feigning ignorance!), I'll cook it for him.


OP, do you tend to keep anything in specifically for snacking? Like I say, we keep stuff in the freezer for snacks/suppers - e.g. the Greggs range Iceland do make good snacks (slices for big snack, a few of their little sausage rolls for a little snack), things like the Chicago Town mini pizzas or subs are often on offer at £1 for two so a cheap-ish and easy snack (15 mins in the oven, even quicker to microwave), Sainsburys do some cheap own brand chicken nuggets which don't take too long. Also, OH has got quite into smoothies - so Tesco's cheapest bananas and one of the "food of the world" random brand fruit juices, 2 mins in the food processor and voila, a smoothie which is not too naughty and that will actually fill him up a bit too. I find keeping easy things to hand helps reduce us overindulging in a big supper, and keeps OH happy when he gets peckish as none of it takes too long to prepare.

Tiddlywinks

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

.....because he's knowingly eating his wife's food?

Wow, that's a rigid way to run a household.

Unless there is a strict need to ration, what is wrong with having another portion and then 'wife' having something different the next day?

If he is hungry, then he is hungry... what would you have him do? Cook something else entirely different?

meritaten

itsanne wrote: »

I also don't want to be rude, but if I understand what you're saying about the chicken, half a chicken does two meals for three of you, so one chicken is expected to make twelve meals. That would suggest to me that he is probably hungry. What is his weight like - and has he been putting weight on since eating more "snacks?

You could, of course, make the main meal in time for your lunch and he could have the rest when he prefers it in the evening. Or he could do half the cooking .

no - I cooked a large chicken and made a large pan of curry sauce with veg to which I added half the cooked chicken. My GD was staying over but being only 9 she only had a small amount. she will be going home in the morning so that means half a chicken for two people!
Where do you get 12 meals?
he isn't hungry - I know how to feed people!
No, I cook his meal in the evening fresh.
his weight has dropped actually - since he had a medical a few years back and the doc told him exactly what I had been telling him - all those pork pies, steak pies and pasties and a half pack of chocolate biscuits are not good for him!
he has lost a couple of stone and looks bluddy good on it! and his cholesterol level has dropped dramatically.

Dunroamin

Could you not cook the meal in the evening fresh for you at 6 o'clock and then he can have the rest if he wants? That way you get the freshly cooked food, he gets the left overs and everybody's happy?

fashionlover10

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Wow, that's a rigid way to run a household.

Unless there is a strict need to ration, what is wrong with having another portion and then 'wife' having something different the next day?

If he is hungry, then he is hungry... what would you have him do? Cook something else entirely different?

Why would he need to cook something else if he's just had a cooked dinner? What's wrong with toast/cereal/sandwich if he's still hungry? I'd be annoyed if my OH just helped himself without asking first if I was saving it.