Is OH being 'greedy'?

paulineb_2

zaksmum wrote: »

Sometimes they just drive you mad though, don't they? You can put up with all kinds of annoying habits - just as they put up with ours, I suppose - then for no apparent reason something snaps and you feel like throttling them.

Men can be massively infuriating at times.

As can women be as well

I know men who cook 90 per cent of the meals at home for their partner, unfortunately not my bf, I dont have one, but it would be nice even for a week

Some men are really good cooks, my brother is, one of my best male friends is as well

Not every man on the planet (and Im sure you know this anyway)

expects to walk into a house to be met with a bubbling pan of curry, I am guessing that the OP has always cooked and brought up a family and now that her family have grown up is left with her OP who sounds as if he cant boil an egg, someone can tell me if Im wrong on that score

My ex could burn water but he still managed to feed himself, all be it with Marks and Spencer meals and salad, Im sure as hell I wasnt sitting cooking for him, which might make me sound lazy but he wouldnt have appreciated it anyway, he was happy with his micro meals

I do think part of this scenario is perhaps about the OP's husband not cooking his own meals, if he cant, well maybe he should

Or if he cant as someone else said, theres always the toaster, he wont starve will he?

coolcait

Dunroamin wrote: »

What link?.

In this post

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.php?p=63080092&postcount=78

Click on the word 'read', in the phrase 'Have a read'.

paulineb_2

Id also agree with the soup suggestion, I made a massive pot of soup last night from veg that would otherwise have been turfed out, cheap and easy and filling, also good for you.

candygirl

I used to hate it when RC used to come in and stick a spoon in the pot and eat half of it before tea.I'm not selfish , but it used to put me off my tea:(

thatgirlsam

My ex used to cook occasionally and take out a massive portion to take for his lunch at work the next day and give me a little portion.. I didn't used to eat what he would take out but instead tended to eat rubbish to fill me up.. which was annoying

My man now wouldn't be impressed if I started to police the food, he would presume I would make enough, if not I would eat something else for lunch. I tend to eat salad at lunch anyway. That's not much help is it :-)

Edwardia

OP doesn't say whether husband is in the house at 6pm. If he is I would suggest a compromise and eating at 7pm together.

It's just common sense IMO to plate up/tub leftover portions and tell others in the household about them and yes every time. However after 20 years yes he should realise that chicken carcass gets used for stock, I agree. My husband will refrigerate it in a tub for me to make stock with the next day or stash in the freezer for stock.

My husband is good about plonking leftovers in tub and then forgetting to tell me there was X and only noticing three days later that I didn't eat it !!

OP's husband is being greedy when he eats the second portion plus the portion earmarked for OP. But if he's not told it's for OP how is he supposed to know ? If he does know it's for her he is selfish.

My husband is from a working class family who ate early, I'm from a middle class family who ate later. I didn't think it was fair when OH was on tools and came home hungry at 4.30pm to make him wait until 8pm for dinner.

When he began commuting however he was rarely home before 8pm and the words 'Clacket Lane' would get him grinding his teeth. So he began cooking when he got home to unwind. It puts him in charge of when we eat,what we eat and portion sizes. Eating later suits me and we like eating together.

I do 99% of the shopping so determine the ingredients. Anything specifically for him eg pasty, Homity pie, Higgedy quiche etc will be marked with his initials in the freezer inventory book or if tinned will be on his shelf in the larder.

Involving OP's husband in choosing or cooking the food might make him feel more involved, likewise having stuff available just for him - and OP should have treats for herself too is she wants them. Have to say pie and chips isn't for dieters !!

zaksmum

Meritaten did say her O/P knows that half the meal she cooks is for her the next day, so really it is selfish of him to just scoff the vast majority of it himself and she can just do without.

Not a very nice attitude to have towards the woman you are supposed to love and care for.

paulineb_2

Well what are the options

keep things as they are
change them?

Calling him selfish isnt going to solve this, as a few people said, communication might

Honestly, I can understand why this is an issue but someone pinching the last bit of curry isnt going to start a world war and if theres more that needs to be sorted, perhaps talking is a good idea

A start anyway.

Nicki

zaksmum wrote: »

Meritaten did say her O/P knows that half the meal she cooks is for her the next day, so really it is selfish of him to just scoff the vast majority of it himself and she can just do without.

Not a very nice attitude to have towards the woman you are supposed to love and care for.

No. She said part of what was in the pot was for her lunch, not half of what was there. She also said some of what was in the pot was permissible for seconds for her OH. Her issue was that his helping of seconds was more than she would have liked and therefore left her with what she felt was too small a portion. Though as I have said a ladle full of curry served with rice is not a tiny lunch in my opinion.

If you read the OP though she apparently dished up half the pot of curry between her OH and her grandchild and left half for herself the next day, so in fact if he hadn't had seconds her OH would have had half of what she intended for herself ( ie a quarter of the curry to meritaten's half) which might put your comment about scoffing the vast majority of the food for oneself into a different perspective.

Tiddlywinks

zaksmum wrote: »

Not a very nice attitude to have towards the woman you are supposed to love and care for.

Hmm, previous threads have shown what they have done to each other... it's not one sided by any means... I'm sure the OH could give equally compelling tales.