Stepson wants to live with us - can his mother stop him?

Treevo

red_devil wrote: »

mothers do have a strong bond with their children and she has had him live with her for all of his life, it will be hard for her if he is not around and how often will he see realistically possibly not hardly ever when he gets settled into his new life?

So exactly the same as the father. Only as well as know, on MSE, fathers don't count!

itsanne

red_devil wrote: »

have a thought for her will you, thats her son, the one she has raised, do you not think she will miss him etc? i am amazed would you like to give your son over to someone else?

The opening post said that the son wants to live with his father and step-mother.

In post 5, the son's reasons are given. If he was my son, they would cause me concern.

I don't, therefore, understand what you are suggesting.

red_devil

has the son thought about the mum though, if he goes will he keep in touch with her.

CH27

red_devil wrote: »

mothers do have a strong bond with their children and she has had him live with her for all of his life, it will be hard for her if he is not around and how often will he see realistically possibly not hardly ever when he gets settled into his new life?

So do fathers.

What do you want the boy do to? Stay with his mum & be miserable?

itsanne

red_devil wrote: »

has the son thought about the mum though, if he goes will he keep in touch with her.

As his father appears to have his best interests at heart, he will surely ensure that he keeps in touch in the same way as he has with his father until now.

The mother's situation will be no different to what the father's has been until now.

The boy can't live with them both.

HappyMJ

red_devil wrote: »

mothers do have a strong bond with their children and she has had him live with her for all of his life, it will be hard for her if he is not around and how often will he see realistically possibly not hardly ever when he gets settled into his new life?

Are you saying that fathers don't have that same bond with a teenage boy?

The reasons were outlined in post 5 and seem perfectly reasonable to me.

FBaby

Something doesn't sound right to me, probably too much of stereotypes thrown in so few words. A horrible ex who had an affair, money obsessed, who doesn't care about her son on one side. A perfect father, who always contributed more than required financially, who sacrifices his time to do all the travelling, plenty of time to give his boy full attention. A SM who can't wait to welcome her step-son. A step-son of 14 who seem to know for certain that he will be happier with his every day life with the happy family, even though he has only been there at week-ends and holidays (ie. when everyone has more time and attention to give).

It's frustrating, we know that she will hit the roof and tbh I'm worried for SS, he will be subject to her crap as he's going home tonight, I'm worried that she will weep and wail in front of him, forgetting that this is not about her!

What a charming comment... Yes, the dad might have gone through it, but two wrongs don't make it right. Is that mother such a horrible person that she isn't able to actually feel pained at the prospect of her son moving and dare she, really miss him?

BugglyB

FBaby wrote: »

Something doesn't sound right to me, probably too much of stereotypes thrown in so few words. A horrible ex who had an affair, money obsessed, who doesn't care about her son on one side. A perfect father, who always contributed more than required financially, who sacrifices his time to do all the travelling, plenty of time to give his boy full attention. A SM who can't wait to welcome her step-son. A step-son of 14 who seem to know for certain that he will be happier with his every day life with the happy family, even though he has only been there at week-ends and holidays (ie. when everyone has more time and attention to give).

Why could that not possibly be true?

Because mothers are always caring, ex husbands are all the same, step mothers are always wicked, and 14 year old boys can't know their own feelings?

FBaby

Why could that not possibly be true?

I thought it could be until I read the part I quoted, especially the 'weep and wail' which to me was pretty spiteful, so made me wonder.

Kayalana99

I know we can only know one side of the story but if the son is 14 and wants to live with his dad then thats his decision now as he is old enough to decide.

Right or wrong about what happens with the money/his mother missing him, doesn't matter. It's what the SS wants to do and from what the OP has said that the SS has said he is not using reasons like 'she wont buy me XXX' its 'she treats me like I don't exist' ... vaild reason to me.