Stepson wants to live with us - can his mother stop him?

aliasojo

red_devil wrote: »

so would you be happy for your child to go and live with his dad and new family then?

Don't be stupid. Of course I wouldn't.

Would I let him/her go if that's what he/she really wanted and I was confident of their life being good there? Yes, I would.

I'd be as miserable as sin about it but I love my kids dearly. Part of loving someone is putting their needs above your feelings.

I'd be selfish if I didn't allow it just because it would make me unhappy.

trolleyrun

It would also be his stepdad there by the sounds of it. The boy also know other people where his mum lives. The mum can do lots of things with her son - if that's what they both want.

Who knows, this could be the start of a better relationship for them, having a bit of space between each other

red_devil

trolleyrun wrote: »

It would also be his stepdad there by the sounds of it.

who he dosent like?

The boy also know other people where his mum lives. The mum can do lots of things with her son - if that's what they both want.

Like what?

Who knows, this could be the start of a better relationship for them, having a bit of space between each other

could be the start of where they become estranged?

Treevo

red_devil wrote: »

could be the start of where they become estranged?

Could be. She doesn't sound like the greatest parent so that's a distinct possibility. None of this is a valid reason for why you'd subject a child to live in an unhappy home.

peachyprice

red_devil wrote: »

because he is growing up now also because there are 2 other brothers at the house i think. whereas i presume it would be just him and his mum.

And her boyfriend who doesn't like the child.

red_devil

Treevo wrote: »

Could be. She doesn't sound like the greatest parent so that's a distinct possibility. None of this is a valid reason for why you'd subject a child to live in an unhappy home.

yes like you know her?

How do we know the home is unhappy?

red_devil

peachyprice wrote: »

And her boyfriend who doesn't like the child.

yes great weekends they are going to have, its not like having a child to stay who you can take to places is it? Most people that age wouldnt want to spend long with their parents.

Also he is relying on someone to drive him there?

Treevo

red_devil wrote: »

yes like you know her?

How do we know the home is unhappy?

Because the son who lives in it says it is. He doesn't want to live there anymore.

I really think you're putting your issues with your son onto the OP's situation. Just because your son left home (as an adult) and decided that he didn't want anything to do with you, doesn't mean that the OP's stepson will do the same. But it's not about you. The mother in this situation evidently isn't great and it's up to her to keep the relationship going, just as she's expected her ex to do every day since the marriage ended.

Treevo

red_devil wrote: »

yes great weekends they are going to have, its not like having a child to stay who you can take to places is it? Most people that age wouldnt want to spend long with their parents.

Also he is relying on someone to drive him there?

The father seemed to manage well enough.

red_devil

Treevo wrote: »

Because the son who lives in it says it is. He doesn't want to live there anymore.

I really think you're putting your issues with your son onto the OP's situation. Just because your son left home (as an adult) and decided that he didn't want anything to do with you, doesn't mean that the OP's stepson will do the same. But it's not about you. The mother in this situation evidently isn't great and it's up to her to keep the relationship going, just as she's expected her ex to do every day since the marriage ended.

my son did not leave home as an adult

why is it up to her to keep the relationship going

its a 2 way street isnt it, they both should put it in. Its of mutual benefit for both mum and son to keep in touch.

I feel cos of his age and his need to be with his friends and the distance he wont but if the poster comes back we will see.

Alot of teens start to not want to have 2 homes when they get to that age, how many times have we seen posts where parents say they dont want to go to their dads house at weekends and leave their friends.

I am being realistic you are just determined to make personal attacks.