Stepson wants to live with us - can his mother stop him?

FBaby

aliasojo wrote: »

I'm not sure why you talk about 'teenagers'. This isn't a general thread, it's about one specific lad, any other teenager's stuff is irrelevent.

As a response to this

Adults are perfectly capable of hiding their feelings from teenagers.

Kayalana99

FBaby wrote: »

kent_lady, I really don't have it for you. If I got to know you, maybe I would think you are a wonderful dedicated mum and step-mum. I am only reacting because I felt some of the things you wrote came across as very heartless. Now I understand that the ex has been so too, but it still stoke a cord to me.

I have issues with my ex's new partner, think she has done some very selfish and nasty things, but I could never feel such negative feelings for her, because in the end, she is my kids' step-mum and she means a lot to them.

This post contradicts itself.

FBaby

Kayalana99 wrote: »

This post contradicts itself.

Can you elaborate?

ValHaller

red_devil wrote: »

mothers do have a strong bond with their children and she has had him live with her for all of his life, it will be hard for her if he is not around and how often will he see realistically possibly not hardly ever when he gets settled into his new life?

I'm getting this feeling that I cannot accept your whole perspective on this

red_devil wrote: »

I dont believe he will keep up the visits to his mum and therefore I think its a not a good idea.

12 miles is quite along way?

As long as he is given the opportunity to visit Mum, if he does not take it, that actually makes the case for his move to Dad and Step Mum being the right thing.

Kayalana99

FBaby wrote: »

Can you elaborate?

Cba to argue tbh. You obvouisly are a very closed minded person, I like to try and see the bigger picture...

aliasojo

Poppy9 wrote: »

Perhaps his mother and step father have been on at him that his attitude, behaviour etc is not acceptable. No one knows what the son says about his father etc. to his mother.

Ordinarily I would say "let him move" but as it involves changing schools at the start of his GCSEs then it needs to be thought about more carefully.

Yes, I hear you ...and agree to an extent.

But if the OP's description of the Mother is accurate (and I have no reason to disbelieve what she writes despite others challenging her every word), then I simply don't believe the lad's issues at home are run of the mill teenage angst.

As I said earlier, I don't believe parents who have the best interests of their offspring at heart, act in the manner the Mother has. (Again, working on the description given.)

Anyway, for whatever reason, the lad wants to move. What is there to be gained by not allowing this? The lad will only feel resentful, possibly jealous of the OP's sons who live in a (what one assumes is a) normal home with his own Father. IF the lad has an uneasy relationship with his Mum, it's reasonable to assume under the circumstances that this will worsen. Eventually his school work could become affected negatively anyway.

FBaby

Kayalana99 wrote: »

Cba to argue tbh. You obvouisly are a very closed minded person, I like to try and see the bigger picture...

Was there a point to your statement then?

I am not a closed minded person and I do mean it when I said I have nothing against OP. I just like to believe that there are often two sides to a story, that's all.

kelpie35

Kent_lady from your posts I can see that you come across as a caring mother, not only to your own children but to your DSS.

I also think that you and your OH are a team and are trying for everyones sake to have happy contented children.

I hope for your DSS that things can become happier if he does come to live with you.

I think for everyones sake that it needs to happen sooner than later so that everyone can move on and be happy.

I wish you and your family all the best. You sound like a lovely, caring mother.

CH27

OP I really hope it all works out for your SS.

BugglyB

Interestingly the op never asked for advice about whether they should let the boy move, merely if the ex could stop him. Kent_lady I don't think I'd feel the need to justify myself any more than you already have!