is his behaviour inappropriate

marisco_2

It would be quite simple to make yourself aware of examples in society, where both sexes behave in ways that are less than ideal. Why does your boyfriend have such a fixation over viewing women negatively? I question whether he has had a bad relationship experience previously. For him to find it funny whilst he informed you, that he intimidated what sounds like a vulnerable workmate by making crass comments to her, doesn't paint him in a good light at all. These really aren't the actions of someone intelligent, more of a man who has a few issues.

HPoirot

Dressing up boorishness as "jokey" behaviour would never go far with me I'm afraid. And I bet deep down it is not so much a joke to him either. Clue, the obsession with men being discriminated against.

Mojisola

misssounsure wrote: »

so that is why you have "ladies" football and mens football etc..." I can never think of very good comebacks to him when he says these things to me!!!

I think you'll find that women play in women's football teams because the rules (made by men) don't allow them to play in the men's teams!

misssounsure

itsanne wrote: »

Sorry, I don't get it. Not only did you accept this, you're still making excuses for him.

In answer to your original question, no. but you already know that.

I guess I've always known its not acceptable and to end it but its hard as I do love him. I'm so grateful for all the help and advice on here from everyone... you've really made me see more clearly and stop doubting myself .. thinking maybe I'm over sensitive!!

But u say in answer to my original question... "no" . I think you mean yes?? .. yes his behaviour is unacceptable

paulineb_2

Mojisola wrote: »

But you only have to look around to see that it's still more of a man's world than an equal one. He might be able to pick up on a few small issues but they don't reflect the whole picture.

The sitcoms I think are a normal reaction to the years of men treating women as inadequate - the pendulum swinging too far until it reaches equilibrium. I don't like women or men being shown, as a group, to be useless or stupid or hopeless.

There have been a lot of strong women on both sides of my family and a lot of very good men. They set a good example of how a couple can be better than the sum of the halves but only when there is a lot of respect for each other as well as love.

Thats it exactly. My brother grew up in an all women household, I actually cant imagine him saying anything in the workplace to a female about them being on their period. Or anything similar. Ive met few people in my life who have as much respect for women as he does.

Even online (we sometimes post on the same forums), I see a lot of men of all ages saying stuff about women and some of it is really derogatory, sometimes dressed up as tongue in cheek, but really not nice all the same, but Ive never ever seen him post anything like that.

Thankfully.

I would guess that some people who are very nice to their partners do have an underlying opinion of women that is less than positive.

But some dont, I certainly know the one I would prefer as a partner even in the short term.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

misssounsure wrote: »

This is EXACTLY one of his points... men are now laughed at etc... there are a lot of examples of men being made to look silly, useless etc and that really annoys my boyfriend as he really does believe that men are now discriminated against

Poor little lamb. Women have been treated appallingly for centuries and yet he can't cope with a little 'being made to look silly'ness.

Bless.

misssounsure

paulineb wrote: »

Thats it exactly. My brother grew up in an all women household, I actually cant imagine him saying anything in the workplace to a female about them being on their period. Or anything similar. Ive met few people in my life who have as much respect for women as he does.

Even online (we sometimes post on the same forums), I see a lot of men of all ages saying stuff about women and some of it is really derogatory, sometimes dressed up as tongue in cheek, but really not nice all the same, but Ive never ever seen him post anything like that.

Thankfully.

I would guess that some people who are very nice to their partners do have an underlying opinion of women that is less than positive.

But some dont, I certainly know the one I would prefer as a partner even in the short term.

Me too!! All this time of doubting myself and telling myself he is so great in all other ways but it's not enough! This is a major point and I cant live with it. thanks so much for all your advice :-) xx

misssounsure

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

Poor little lamb. Women have been treated appallingly for centuries and yet he can't cope with a little 'being made to look silly'ness.

Bless.

"poor little lamb" that really made me chuckle lol x

misssounsure

Mojisola wrote: »

I think you'll find that women play in women's football teams because the rules (made by men) don't allow them to play in the men's teams!

he would just say that is because women are in general (not all of course) but in general physically they are less strong... they are weaker and that is a fact but i guess the point is so what.. women may be better at other things.. communication as a poss eg.

One major thing that I find very annoying is that when you ask him his views on pregnancy and a woman growing a life, giving birth etc his view is "its just nature isnt it".. not "its amazing how a woman's body grows her baby " etc etc... it is "just nature"

marisco_2

It already seems as if you are seeing this situation far more clearly now. In case you have any wobbles or doubts ask yourself this question. If you stayed with him long term and went on to have children, how would you feel about raising a daughter with this man and having his family closely involved with her upbringing?