is his behaviour inappropriate

misssounsure

marisco wrote: »

I agree with meritaten. You come across on here as an intelligent young woman who has been raised well, and can identify when other people behave in ways that make you question their approach to life.

You have only known this guy for a few months, far to short a time to have really got to know him well. In the early stages of a relationship many people are on their best behaviour, and most people accept that you don't really start to see someone's true self immediately. Already though as per the examples in this thread, he has said and done things that have concerned you and made you feel uneasy about him.

Don't settle for someone who carries on like this. There is plenty of time to meet and get to know a great guy who will treat yourself and all those around him well, who wont come with lots of issues and weird and wonderful ideas. Seriously who needs to be coupled up with someone, where they wonder what will come out of their mouth next that could embarrass them and others.

He's just so great In all other ways though...I know no one is perfect
and I worry I'll end it and maybe never meet anyone else who has his great qualities....kind caring generous interesting and does so much for me just cos he's kind etc. But then I guess I need to accept that a future person may not have all his qualities but won't have his bad points!! I think I worry as I see some friends who have been single for years because they are too picky! Wanting a perfect partner etc...but I guess theres a difference between having high standards and being too picky

Guest101

He seems perfectly reasonable, women are just to sensitive...

It's clearly who he is and how he was raised, you can accept it, or break up. changing him wont work. Well not 100% anyway

Mojisola

misssounsure wrote: »

I worry I'll end it and maybe never meet anyone else who has his great qualities....kind caring generous interesting and does so much for me just cos he's kind etc.

He wasn't very kind or caring towards his female colleague!

This_Year

misssounsure wrote: »

my boyfriend helps with the cooking and house work as does his father so that is one good thing!!!

Haven't read on but helps with the cooking and housework? Like it's a favour to give a hand around the house to the little woman whose job it is?? :eek:

paulineb_2

This_Year wrote: »

Haven't read on but helps with the cooking and housework? Like it's a favour to give a hand around the house to the little woman whose job it is?? :eek:

The OP said later she phrased that badly and he did an equal share.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

misssounsure wrote: »

He's just so great In all other ways though...I know no one is perfect
and I worry I'll end it and maybe never meet anyone else who has his great qualities....kind caring generous interesting and does so much for me just cos he's kind etc. But then I guess I need to accept that a future person may not have all his qualities but won't have his bad points!! I think I worry as I see some friends who have been single for years because they are too picky! Wanting a perfect partner etc...but I guess theres a difference between having high standards and being too picky

I don't think 'having respect for women' is being too picky, especially when you are yourself, a woman. I don't think it is 'having high standards' either. For me, that's the basics.

paulineb_2

And there could be something in the OPs comment that her husband father was adopted and perhaps he really does have issues with women that stem from his mum giving him up.

I agree with the poster who said, take some time to think about it away from the boards, hope you reach a decision you are happy with.

This_Year

misssounsure wrote: »

I dont think he does change his behaviour at work! He once told me that he and another male colleague used to tell one particular female in their dept. that they could tell she was on her period just by looking at her and she ended up paranoid.. he was laughing so hard when he told me this... i almost split up with him there and then....

So why didn't you?

This_Year

paulineb wrote: »

The OP said later she phrased that badly and he did an equal share.

Fair do's but I hadn't read that far yet.

fluffymuffy

Just baffled why the OP is still with this idiot.