is his behaviour inappropriate

misssounsure

marisco wrote: »

If your boyfriend was so bright it wouldn't matter what influences he had been surrounded by whilst he grew up, he would have the ability to think independently and choose whether to be the same or not.

The thing is has has thought about it in great detail.. he even has a an old book I saw in a box of his which was all about how men are now discriminated against as the scales have tipped too far the other way.

A woman getting promoted over a man simply because she is a woman to get more women into the top jobs just because. Whereas really it should be the best person for the job..

He sees at his work place where they work shifts, including night shifts that women sign up to the job then they get pregnant and demand to be put on day shifts, they turn up late, go home early because they have child care issues. He even believes its unfair that men have to wear suits and ties to look smart but women dont have to wear ties.

women are more hormonal than men... that is a fact I would say..

Men are discriminated against in the farmily courts...mums get custody over dads usually (not always but in general). Loads of other examples that he has pointed out to me!!!!

Alot of what he says does have some truth to it! (I would never admit that to him though!!!) If it was just that then that would be fine but its the fact he then puts women down with the jokes.

paulineb_2

Not really sure what Im trying to say here, but Ive had partners who were absolutely disrespecful towards me, but if anyone who knew them socially saw them, they would think that person was polite, intelligent, well mannered. Sometimes people only show their true colours to a select few people.

I think one of my exes had a massive issue with women full stop. But youd never have seen him cracking a mother in law joke or saying women shouldnt do that or do this, the criticism of me was personal, but I bet I wasnt the only gf he had who got that treatment. And I do believe his treatment of me was part of a bigger picture about how he feels about women in general.

Im not saying it excuses what the OPs bf is doing, not at all, but there are a lot of people out there who have some firmly entrenched views about women who you would never in a million years see cracking some joke or going on about women shouldnt do this or do that.

I think individually we can tolerate only so much and if something is bothering you, its bothering you for a reason.

And I think many people can like inappropriate humour or be un PC at times without it being a massive issue.

Ive spent time with people and been directly put down by them as a person, its not nice at all.

Can take a long time for the penny to drop that someone does have deep rooted issues with women.

The problem is here, this is learned behaviour, but my biggest issue in all of this would be the bfs inability to think for himself and challenge this claptrap

However, if his father is a forceful personality, that might have been easier said than done when growing up.

coolcait

Mojisola wrote: »

There's been a lot of sit-coms where all the men are made out to be completely useless. I find these irritating rather than amusing and not a stereotype I wanted my sons to be exposed to too much when they were growing up. As you say - the original premise isn't funny; repeating it endlessly makes it less so.

Very true.

misssounsure

Mojisola wrote: »

Almost! And the remark to your Mum! And comments to you!

You're more tolerant than I would be. I couldn't live with a bully.

I just kept thinking of all his good points... he probably told me this right after he did something great for me (hes always just buying me things say if something of mine breaks..i dropped my phone, it broke, next day he comes home with a new phone for me!)

I've always just told myself this is his only bad point..hes amazing in all other ways but to be honest i wish i'd ended it ages ago as no amount of good points can make up for this one VERY annoying trait!!

coolcait

misssounsure wrote: »

I dont think he does change his behaviour at work! He once told me that he and another male colleague used to tell one particular female in their dept. that they could tell she was on her period just by looking at her and she ended up paranoid.. he was laughing so hard when he told me this... i almost split up with him there and then....

Jumped the shark.

Mojisola

misssounsure wrote: »

I've always just told myself this is his only bad point..hes amazing in all other ways but to be honest i wish i'd ended it ages ago as no amount of good points can make up for this one VERY annoying trait!!

It's not just one bad point, though. It underlies his whole approach to life.

Dunroamin

misssounsure wrote: »

I just kept thinking of all his good points... he probably told me this right after he did something great for me (hes always just buying me things say if something of mine breaks..i dropped my phone, it broke, next day he comes home with a new phone for me!)

I've always just told myself this is his only bad point..hes amazing in all other ways but to be honest i wish i'd ended it ages ago as no amount of good points can make up for this one VERY annoying trait!!

If he's found that he can buy your good opinion simply by spending money on you, no wonder he has a low opinion of women.:(

misssounsure

Mojisola wrote: »

There's been a lot of sit-coms where all the men are made out to be completely useless. I find these irritating rather than amusing and not a stereotype I wanted my sons to be exposed to too much when they were growing up. As you say - the original premise isn't funny; repeating it endlessly makes it less so.

This is EXACTLY one of his points... men are now laughed at etc... there are a lot of examples of men being made to look silly, useless etc and that really annoys my boyfriend as he really does believe that men are now discriminated against

misssounsure

coolcait wrote: »

Jumped the shark.

What does jumped the shark mean?? (sorry if its obvious!)

fashionlover10

I once went on a date with a guy who made sexist remarks to and about me all night. I struggled to refrain from pouring my drink over his head and couldn't wait to get home at the end of the night. He contacted me a little while after asking for a second date which I swiftly declined.

You're far more tolerant than I am OP.