is his behaviour inappropriate

paulineb_2

I know someone who has a partner who has quite fixed views about women, hes never been married, but he was in a long term relationship and they lived together.

He doesnt crack sexist jokes as far as Im aware, but he'll go on about women doing this or that or wanting this or that, making generalisations

When she first told me, I thought I couldnt put up with that, but she just lets it go in one ear and out the other. Theres also more I probably couldnt put up with going by some of the stuff she says, I wouldnt have the energy, but she does.

You know my view is that everyone has their strengths. Some men are crap at sport, some men excel at it, some women are crap at sport, some women arent. And every single thing in the middle.

These attitudes should be challenged, because someone saying that women arent good in high pressured jobs, there are many women who work as lawyers, doctors, in the police force, army and do it well.

To make generalisations like that, even if its just being repeated from what youve listened to all your life, what does that show about your ability to think for yourself?

Not very much really. And what is the need to crack jokes all the time.
Id be saying something like, youve made your point, do you need to say it over and over?

I feel sorry for someone who has been brought up in a family with such attitudes, but Im sure many people have and have actually realised that its a load of old tosh and its not a case of women or men being better or inferior, we all individually have strengths and weaknesses

Its just sad really, that so much of someones time is spent cracking unfunny jokes when there are much better things to be talking about

Mojisola

paulineb wrote: »

To make generalisations like that, even if its just being repeated from what youve listened to all your life, what does that show about your ability to think for yourself?

Not very much really. And what is the need to crack jokes all the time.

Id be saying something like, youve made your point, do you need to say it over and over?

It would become tedious very quickly for me. If misssounsure can put up with it - from the OH as well as his family - then in other respects he sounds a good man and all might end well.

The only people I've known who continually make "jokes" like this have some deep-seated problems with the group they are always "joking" about. When that group is over half the population of the country, it doesn't bode well for getting on in life.

Any

I am giggling here trying to imagine my OH said something like that to my mother!! Oh she would not laugh... and I think he might never be able to again...
I consider it extremely inappropriate!! And quite frankly, would make me think that a person who think nothing of making a comment like this to gf's MOTHER is lacking on the brain cells count...

Sorry, don't want to be mean, but I do find it very stupid.

misssounsure

Any wrote: »

I am giggling here trying to imagine my OH said something like that to my mother!! Oh she would not laugh... and I think he might never be able to again...
I consider it extremely inappropriate!! And quite frankly, would make me think that a person who think nothing of making a comment like this to gf's MOTHER is lacking on the brain cells count...

Sorry, don't want to be mean, but I do find it very stupid.

Lol! this made me chuckle :-) My mother wasnt impressed at all! My boyfriend is actually really clever (Im not trying to defend him!) I think it makes it worse that he is bright but still says these things... it's how he has been brought up unfortunately. That just how all his friends and family and so he is too... + when he was young his mum was very emotional, cried a lot etc etc

misssounsure

Thank you so much everyone for your replies so far... its really helping me see more clearly... I dont think I should continue with this relationship as it is driving me mad... I've never put much thought into these things but since being with him I think about it daily.. men, woman etc etc.. its draining!

paulineb_2

misssounsure wrote: »

Lol! this made me chuckle :-) My mother wasnt impressed at all! My boyfriend is actually really clever (Im not trying to defend him!) I think it makes it worse that he is bright but still says these things... it's how he has been brought up unfortunately. That just how all his friends and family and so he is too... + when he was young his mum was very emotional, cried a lot etc etc

His friends as well? Is this like a plague thats infected everyone that his family come into contact.

Hes very bright, cant he realise that just because his mum was very emotional and cried a lot that not every woman is like that?

paulineb_2

misssounsure wrote: »

Thank you so much everyone for your replies so far... its really helping me see more clearly... I dont think I should continue with this relationship as it is driving me mad... I've never put much thought into these things but since being with him I think about it daily.. men, woman etc etc.. its draining!

It is your decision, the only thing I can say to you if he is that wonderful in other ways be prepared to look back and think, I miss him.

Id give it a couple of days to think it over and if you still feel the same way, fine. Or Id say to him, Im just about to give you the boot due to your constant sexist jokes and attitudes, might give him the kick up the backside he needs.

kitrat

paulineb wrote: »

His friends as well? Is this like a plague thats infected everyone that his family come into contact.

Hes very bright, cant he realise that just because his mum was very emotional and cried a lot that not every woman is like that?

And maybe she had a reason to cry with lack of support like that!

misssounsure

paulineb wrote: »

His friends as well? Is this like a plague thats infected everyone that his family come into contact.

Hes very bright, cant he realise that just because his mum was very emotional and cried a lot that not every woman is like that?

Lol.. well his dad is like it and as a result he and his brother are like it due to their up-bringing. As for his friends I guess he's just naturally formed friendships with people who have similar views to him! One of his friends is such a sexist pig it is awful.. my boyfriend is no where near as bad as this friend but i do wander if my boyfriend is a lot "worse" when I'm not around and when it is just him and his friend

paulineb_2

kitrat wrote: »

And maybe she had a reason to cry with lack of support like that!

Yeah maybe she did, married to a cross between roy chubby brown and jim davidson.