Fathers access to my 8 month old baby

pops5588

pyjamadays wrote: »

No to be honest I don't want him to have any contact

There you are Dimey, I've even made it easy for you. Straight from the horse's mouth!

Dimey

Yes I know Pyjamadays said that. But I don't think she means that she won't give access.

I think she means that's how she feels. She'd like to keep the child away from the father because of the problems....

But she also knows that's not the right thing as the child will need the father so that's why she's trying to find the best way to do the access.

I am taking this seriously. I have been following the whole thread as it developed and I remember OP's last thread that was deleted.

Sorry. I genuinely read things differently and I hope there's room for my opinion even if it's not mainstream.

pops5588

Dimey wrote: »

Yes I know Pyjamadays said that. But I don't think she means that she won't give access.

I think she means that's how she feels. She'd like to keep the child away from the father because of the problems....

But she also knows that's not the right thing as the child will need the father so that's why she's trying to find the best way to do the access.

I am taking this seriously. I have been following the whole thread as it developed and I remember OP's last thread that was deleted.

Sorry. I genuinely read things differently and I hope there's room for my opinion even if it's not mainstream.

Of course there is, this is a forum. I only bristle slightly at the suggestion that people have ignored the original question and not tried to help when people have taken time out of their day to send her links to websites where she can search for her local contact centre, to suggest who to speak to in order to get the ball rolling etc.

I think people have been more than helpful. Unfortunately child access is one of those topics that often feels very personal to people.

Dimey

pops5588 wrote: »

Of course there is, this is a forum. I only bristle slightly at the suggestion that people have ignored the original question and not tried to help when people have taken time out of their day to send her links to websites where she can search for her local contact centre, to suggest who to speak to in order to get the ball rolling etc.

I think people have been more than helpful. Unfortunately child access is one of those topics that often feels very personal to people.

I'm not saying everyone ignored the original question.

I'm saying I believe some posters took the thread off track by over reacting to some of OPs terminology. Maybe reading it too literally.

It was after I read these type of comments that I decided to mention how I interpreted differently: -


" Bye then... "

"Why did you have a baby together? Couldn't you see beyond'ooh, I'm up the duff, cute!'. "

I don't read the OP as being a kind of waster. I see her as being out of her depth and needing responsible advice and support.

peachyprice

Dimey wrote: »

She made a slip of saying "my" child

Dimey wrote: »

I
I'm saying I believe some posters took the thread off track by over reacting to some of OPs terminology. Maybe reading it too literally

.

No, she meant exactly what she had written,

pyjamadays wrote: »

It's MY son, when he lived here for the first 12 weeks of his life he paid no attention to him, did nothing with him, never got up in the night or mornings. Slept all day or played his computer game, MY son didn't know him so always cried with him. So biologically he's our son...but as I have done every single thing for MY baby since the day he was born he will continue to be only MY son as far as I'm concerned.

pops5588

peachyprice wrote: »

.

No, she meant exactly what she had written,

Oh look, she slipped 4 times in that one!

Dimey

I hear what you are saying.
I don't see the MY as a big deal. Especially as the OP wants to know how she can organise access. Its just the way she's referring to her child because she's hurt by what's happened and she's aggrieved that she's the only one bringing him up.

Don't read that grievance into her not wanting to bring the child up. I'm sure she does. She's just very protective of her family unit and once picked up on her wording, she defended her position. If she'd have just accepted the first correction OURS not MY then she wouldn't have dug a hole for herself.

Lots of people say My child even when they are happily married. They just don't give it a thought whether they sometimes say MY or sometimes say OUR.

Obviously the only person who can clarify this is Pyjamadays and it looks like she's shot off again.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Guest101 wrote: »

The OP could solve this by simply letting her ex take their child out for the day, have him/her overnight. simple

And unwanted advances are not sexual assault, what planet are you on

The planet where, if I have ended a relationship, I have the right not to have that person try and touch me in a sexual manner without my consent, in just the same way a random bloke in the street or at work or out in a pub or club does not have the right to grope or paw at me.

Gigervamp

She mentioned that he was flirting with her. When did flirting become a sexual advance/ assault?

Amanda65

pyjamadays wrote: »

Yes....I'm going to stand outside my house for 2 hours with a baby....

Back on page 3 I suggested someone comes to the house when your ex visits your DS so that you are not alone with him - why is this not an option?