Fathers access to my 8 month old baby

pyjamadays

The whole point in this was to ask what other people did regarding contact between baby of young age & a father. I don't have to go into great detail of how our life's were and the how's & why's. I have already said my ex was seeing baby up until 3 weeks ago (because of what was happening during the visits) and that I was seeking professional advice in how to take it further (health visitor & meditators) I also said that I had put an offer of contact in place, not in my house but a cafe/play park. I also said that in honesty I would prefer no contact but at no point have I actually said I was going to stop contact! so read properly and get off your high horses for gods sake!!!!!

fluffnutter

pyjamadays wrote: »

The whole point in this was to ask what other people did regarding contact between baby of young age & a father. I don't have to go into great detail of how our life's were and the how's & why's. I have already said my ex was seeing baby up until 3 weeks ago (because of what was happening during the visits) and that I was seeking professional advice in how to take it further (health visitor & meditators) I also said that I had put an offer of contact in place, not in my house but a cafe/play park. I also said that in honesty I would prefer no contact but at no point have I actually said I was going to stop contact! so read properly and get off your high horses for gods sake!!!!!

Why did you have a baby together? Couldn't you see beyond 'ooh, I'm up the duff, cute!'. You've shacked up with a bloke you don't really like, who sounds like a crap dad, not just to this kid but to his previous ones, he plays on his x-box all day, ignores his children, there's 'domestic abuse' concerns, blah blah.

Was he a fabulous catch at first then completely morphed into an arsehole or did you just stumble from one bad decision to the next? Take some responsibility for your life, if not for your sake, then for your son's.

It's like a bad episode of Jeremy Kyle and you're ticking every cliche in the book. And at the centre of all of this is a poor innocent kid whose life is !!!!ed even before it's begun. Well done.

paulineb_2

pyjamadays wrote: »

he won't have unsupervised access, probably never will have. There are no contact centres where I live that I know of although its never been mentioned. Il wait and here from her I think. It just plays on my mind that he is the dad so he should see him although my guy says keep him away.

You have a new man who is saying keep him away?

You seem to be influenced by a hell of a lot of people around you.

paulineb_2

pyjamadays wrote: »

No to be honest I don't want him to have any contact, also I said its been advised he has minimal anyway so that a bond doesn't develop.

You said this

Which is clear enough, you dont want him to have any contact.

FBaby

pyjamadays wrote: »

The whole point in this was to ask what other people did regarding contact between baby of young age & a father. I don't have to go into great detail of how our life's were and the how's & why's. I have already said my ex was seeing baby up until 3 weeks ago (because of what was happening during the visits) and that I was seeking professional advice in how to take it further (health visitor & meditators) I also said that I had put an offer of contact in place, not in my house but a cafe/play park. I also said that in honesty I would prefer no contact but at no point have I actually said I was going to stop contact! so read properly and get off your high horses for gods sake!!!!!

mmm, I think there were quite a few posts that made it clear your intentions were to stop all contact besides your initial post that did indeed, as I requoted, asked for advice about contact. However, you didn't mention a cafe or play park, you said 'outside my house'.

There are not that many ways to go about it, and all possible suggestions have been given, in addition to your suggestion above.

paulineb_2

I sincerely hope that whatever decision is made, its made in the best interests of the child. Not anyone else in this scenario including police, health visitors and new boyfriends.

I wish you well OP, I hope things work out for you

pyjamadays

Yes....I'm going to stand outside my house for 2 hours with a baby....

double_mummy

this is all a little mad stop listening to other people sit down with him with a mediator - a mutual friend anyone you both respect - possibly both grandmothers - get an agreement set out write it down and stick to it

stop listening to people who actually have no place in your childs life- your HV should not be saying anything along these lines and seeing as your new relationship can be no more than 5 months old !!!!!! are you doing having him have any say in your childs life?

PLEASE pull your head out of your a$$ and start acting like an adult this is a child not a doll who you can say 'im not sharing my toy with you today' your kid is going to be so angry with you when they grow up if you didnt even give them a chance to build a relationship with their dad

if you have concerns about him talk to social services be proactive in doing the best for your child until this point let him have contact with his child so they can build a bond as you have no right keeping them apart until he has actually done something or there are serious concerns by professionals who know what they are talking about

also by not letting the child see its father you arent letting it see its extended family the baby still is a part of their family too even if the dad has done something terrible why should his family pay for it? a member of my husbands family is in prison for a very long time for terrible things that he did does that mean my kids should not see his ex wife or their kids or his parents because of what he did

pyjamadays

Again READ?!! I do not have a new partner, the word guy was a typo for gut...

The 'extended family' are not within a reasonable distance to have regular contact other than once a yr...

I AM being pro active..not sure how many more times that needs said.

And FINALLY, I am doing what's best for all 3 of my kids (who at this moment are all very happy and the older 2 doing brilliant at school) if it turns out to be in babies best interest to CONTINUE seeing his dad then he will, but if not then he won't.

I will not be returning to this site for anymore 'advice' or to answer anymore questions as everyone is so negative and probably stiring !!!! for the sake!!

fluffnutter

Bye then...