Can't stand my inlaws!

balletshoes

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

Why are you doing this and having you and your DD stay in a hotel? This is completely and utterly crazy. Stop at home and let him go on his own with the youngest...

yep, thats what I'd do.

Anon234

balletshoes wrote: »

yep, thats what I'd do.

If I could I would, but my youngest wont go on her own and he's not keen having her on his own in the car

balletshoes

Anon234 wrote: »

Youngest wont stay anywhere if I'm not there, he can't cope with her in the car for hours on his own and tbh he needs me there to look after her. So if I don't go he won't take youngest which will then be my fault, even when he explains to MIL he can't bring her alone, it's my fault for raising a clingy child

taking out how your OH can't cope with her and needs you there to look after her (he's going to have to learn) - have you tried asking your youngest if she'd like a fun trip with Daddy to see her grandparents, just him and her, having her Daddy all to herself?

shelley_crow

If he can't take the youngest by himself then it seems his parents are out of luck. What a pity!

Anon234

balletshoes wrote: »

taking out how your OH can't cope with her and needs you there to look after her (he's going to have to learn) - have you tried asking your youngest if she'd like a fun trip with Daddy to see her grandparents, just him and her, having her Daddy all to herself?

Yes, we tried to make it sound all fun and exciting, she will go as long as she knows her sister or I are there at night time, if you say to her about sleeping over at granny's with dad, she says no and asks if mum or her sister can go. As she gets older of course this wont be an issue

Pechow

Anon234 wrote: »

He reacted my having an almighty row with me about what I had caused. Because I can't keep my mouth shut. It ruined my DDs first Xmas which I presume was what she wanted

In doing so he essentially chose his mother over you, his wife and mother of his child. Without meaning to sound condescending or anything, I feel really bad for you and your kids, especially the eldest.

meritaten

sounds to me as if the little one is no more keen on granny and granddad than you are! honestly hun, why expose her to these toxic people? if they weren't related by blood would you let her see them?

I know you don't want to hear this, but, right now I have no respect for your OH at all! it isn't you causing problems - you are merely 'reacting' to her attempts to cause problems. quite frankly she is succeeding in her aim - to cause friction between you. are you quite sure he is worth all this?

Anon234

meritaten wrote: »

sounds to me as if the little one is no more keen on granny and granddad than you are! honestly hun, why expose her to these toxic people? if they weren't related by blood would you let her see them?

I know you don't want to hear this, but, right now I have no respect for your OH at all! it isn't you causing problems - you are merely 'reacting' to her attempts to cause problems. quite frankly she is succeeding in her aim - to cause friction between you. are you quite sure he is worth all this?

I have thought about this numerous times, and tbh we have come to the point of splitting up a few times over this.

Every argument descends into 'we'll I can see my parents because your a !!!!!' and on a few occasions my !!!!!! child (his words not mine obviously) has also been blamed...( easy to see his parents attitudes have rubbed off on him)

We are so much happier on the few weeks she goes abroad every year, no interfering rubbish.

He speaks to her several times a day so it's hard to get my side across without her whispering nastiness in his ear.

Janey3

I am standing back and saying and doing nothing, despite her constant interference in our finances and the constant accusations I spend all her sons money,

How does she know so much about your finances - especially being 300 miles away?

I'm wondering if you/OH are telling her too much about your business and life - You don't need to tell her anything about your personal finances etc - nothing to do with her. That would be a start anyway - 'keep your own counsel' as the saying goes. Tell her what you want her to know - nothing more.

Anon234

Janey3 wrote: »

I am standing back and saying and doing nothing, despite her constant interference in our finances and the constant accusations I spend all her sons money,

How does she know so much about your finances - especially being 300 miles away?

I'm wondering if you/OH are telling her too much about your business and life - You don't need to tell her anything about your personal finances etc - nothing to do with her. That would be a start anyway - 'keep your own counsel' as the saying goes. Tell her what you want her to know - nothing more.

She does the books and tax for OHs business, so he can pay her more than she could get elsewhere, everything is done online and she has access to all his online bank accs unfortunately