Can't stand my inlaws!

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Anon234 wrote: »

Well I just told him that when we go on holiday he is more than welcome to visit his parents but as this was a holiday I booked for my 2 children I would be doing the activites I have booked with them both. He can take my youngest when it is suitable for everyone not just his mother.

His response was a rant about how his mum and dad can't see his child because of my eldest?!.

If this carries on...he won't be welcome on my holiday either, he can spend it with his mother

Aw diddums. Perhaps if they behaved like adults and accepted your eldest it might be a different story.

marisco_2

Anon234 wrote: »

Every argument descends into 'we'll I can see my parents because your a !!!!!' and on a few occasions my !!!!!! child (his words not mine obviously) has also been blamed...( easy to see his parents attitudes have rubbed off on him)

Please tell me your husband has never referred to the little girl you are raising together, in such a derogatory manner to her face. However he was raised and whatever influences he had, he is his own person able to form his own opinions. That he chooses to view a child who has mild autism in such an awful way, speaks volumes about him as a human being and his total lack of understanding of her.

Anon234

marisco wrote: »

Please tell me your husband has never referred to the little girl you are raising together, in such a derogatory manner to her face. However he was raised and whatever influences he had, he is his own person able to form his own opinions. That he chooses to view a child who has mild autism in such an awful way, speaks volumes about him as a human being and his total lack of understanding of her.

Yes he has called her this in her presence , he also made fun of her for not liking to drink from a cup, she prefers sports bottles as she's less likely to spill them.

However any outburst directed at me or my child is my fault. No doubt mummy tells him he's right

ifonlyitwaseasier

^^ that would be goodnight vienna!

he's said that in front of her?!?!? what a !!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon234

ifonlyitwaseasier wrote: »

^^ that would be goodnight vienna!

he's said that in front of her?!?!? what a !!!!!!!!!!!!

It was during a row with me, I can't even remember what about but his mum was probably in there somewhere, she blinking usually is...

My dd is fair game when he's annoyed with me it seems. No excusable in the slightest, and he wonders why my eldest back chats him and is rude to him all the time.

marisco_2

Anon234 wrote: »

Well I just told him that when we go on holiday he is more than welcome to visit his parents but as this was a holiday I booked for my 2 children I would be doing the activites I have booked with them both. He can take my youngest when it is suitable for everyone not just his mother.

His response was a rant about how his mum and dad can't see his child because of my eldest?!.

If this carries on...he won't be welcome on my holiday either, he can spend it with his mother

This is not a criticism, god knows you suffer enough of those from the in-laws, more an observation. Going by the above both yourself and your husband have reached the stage, where you don't see each other and the children as a family unit any more. This constant interference from your mil has torn you all apart.

Shelldean

just read this with overwhelming sadness how do you think this constant belittling of your eldest will colour her beliefs about herself as she grows???

I don't see eye to eye with my m-I-l BUT I kinda see her in a new light after reading this.

I was a single mum when I got together with my OH, not quite divorced at that point.
Both his parent and his two sister accepted my DD as she was one of the family. We went on to have three boys, and you honestly cant tell she is not blood relative.

And even my ex mil (who I've remained in close contact with) has accepted my three boys as her grandchildren, tho she does favour my eldest!!!! but not by huge amounts, but enough to notice.

I guess I'm actually quite lucky in this aspect of my life xx

nearlyrich

You are being abused by a bully with the consent of his mother been there a long time ago I finally made my escape and never looked back xx

Anon234

marisco wrote: »

This is not a criticism, god knows you suffer enough of those from the in-laws, more an observation. Going by the above both yourself and your husband have reached the stage, where you don't see each other and the children as a family unit any more. This constant interference from your mil has torn you all apart.

Your right it has, it is now at the point that I pay everything for 'my' child he pays for his. Even as far as holidays, my dd usually costs more now she's 12, so I foot the bill. Tbh we are not a family. We haven't been for sometime

Janey3

Anon234 wrote: »

Well I just told him that when we go on holiday he is more than welcome to visit his parents but as this was a holiday I booked for my 2 children I would be doing the activites I have booked with them both. He can take my youngest when it is suitable for everyone not just his mother.

His response was a rant about how his mum and dad can't see his child because of my eldest?!.

If this carries on...he won't be welcome on my holiday either, he can spend it with his mother

Well, that's a start! Let him rant and you stick to your plan. Stay strong.