Can't stand my inlaws!

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Anon234 wrote: »

Yes he has called her this in her presence , he also made fun of her for not liking to drink from a cup, she prefers sports bottles as she's less likely to spill them.

However any outburst directed at me or my child is my fault. No doubt mummy tells him he's right

Crikey. Over and out as far as I am concerned.

Why are you still with him again?

Anon234

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

Crikey. Over and out as far as I am concerned.

Why are you still with him again?

Because for all his bad points there are good, although I'm finding it almost impossible now to remember what those were

shelley_crow

It does sound like the rotten apple hasn't fallen far from the canker ridden tree.

The three of them are a disgrace.

Its so sad that that whole side of the family are not supportive, caring or even semi decent human beings. I hope you get support from your side, it makes me very sad to think of you being alone against these people.

balletshoes

Anon234 wrote: »

It was during a row with me, I can't even remember what about but his mum was probably in there somewhere, she blinking usually is...

My dd is fair game when he's annoyed with me it seems. No excusable in the slightest, and he wonders why my eldest back chats him and is rude to him all the time.

thing is OP, you can't blame his mum for what he says when he's arguing with you - those are his words, his thoughts, coming out of his mouth. He's not a 3-year old, he's an adult (supposedly).

Anon234

balletshoes wrote: »

thing is OP, you can't blame his mum for what he says when he's arguing with you - those are his words, his thoughts, coming out of his mouth. He's not a 3-year old, he's an adult (supposedly).

I agree, but until his parents started on about how unruly and badly behaved my eldest is ( she's not) he was fine with her, they got on brilliantly. His mother has convinced him she is the spawn of satan

balletshoes

Anon234 wrote: »

I agree, but until his parents started on about how unruly and badly behaved my eldest is ( she's not) he was fine with her, they got on brilliantly. His mother has convinced him she is the spawn of satan

when did his attitude change towards your eldest daughter start?

itsanne

OP, I've read this thread with increasing horror. There's much good advice, but it presupposes a more rational response from your OH than he appears able/willing to give.

I feel very sorry and concerned for you, but even more so for your daughter after reading about your OH's treatment of her. If that is how he is about your daughter, he is not capable of understanding how wrong his parents are.

From everything you have said, the basic situation is not going to change. What do you actually want in the near and medium term future? How are you going to try to make that happen? I think you need to step back and look at where your (ie you, your OH and your children) life is heading.

Anon234

balletshoes wrote: »

when did his attitude change towards your eldest daughter start?

When his parents visited after the birth of my youngest, all the did was find fault with her, constantly to the point I removed her from there and took her home.
Up until then he had been fine, now anything that goes wrong is her fault. I'm stressed and bad tempered because of all the rows, he told her it was her fault, look what your doing to your mother ( I told her he was wrong)

I have very high blood pressure, he told her, if you carrying on behaving like an idiot you'll kill your mum.

As for the question where do I want this to go, I want a family unit. Not me and my dd versus him and his. It's a battleground and it's not a battle anyone is going to win

marisco_2

Anon234 wrote: »

Yes he has called her this in her presence , he also made fun of her for not liking to drink from a cup, she prefers sports bottles as she's less likely to spill them.

However any outburst directed at me or my child is my fault. No doubt mummy tells him he's right

I am a teacher and work with children who are autistic. Some have mild autism others a much more severe form. In my experience they are all special and have so much to offer in their own unique way. What they need is endless amounts of love, encouragement, patience and a skilled and creative approach to being raised. For someone to not be able to recognise this, to lower themselves to refer to a vulnerable child in such an awful manner and to blatantly undermine and bully them is despicable. I don't wish to upset you further OP but has it occurred to you that yourself and your little girl are suffering emotional abuse?

balletshoes

Anon234 wrote: »

When his parents visited after the birth of my youngest, all the did was find fault with her, constantly to the point I removed her from there and took her home.
Up until then he had been fine, now anything that goes wrong is her fault. I'm stressed and bad tempered because of all the rows, he told her it was her fault, look what your doing to your mother ( I told her he was wrong)

I have very high blood pressure, he told her, if you carrying on behaving like an idiot you'll kill your mum.

As for the question where do I want this to go, I want a family unit. Not me and my dd versus him and his. It's a battleground and it's not a battle anyone is going to win

you're not a family unit though. Sorry, but you're not. I've been with my OH for 13 years, we have a child together - and he'd only have to say one thing like your OH has said to your child, once, and that would be it - because thats childish spiteful behaviour, which will only damage her (and you).
Children have a hard enough time with their emotions and self-image, home should be a place where they're guaranteed not to have to deal with that kind of carp. We as parents are responsible for ensuring that home is their haven.