Can't stand my inlaws!

meritaten

Can I ask you something Anon? you say that your oldest child is now being subjected to verbal abuse and what you say he said to her about her being responsible for if you die?
Do you realise that this is classic Narcissist behaviour? He is making her the Scapegoat - while your youngest is going to be moulded into the Golden Child. its as clear as crystal - my guess is that is learned behaviour guided by his everloving mummy. and you? well I would guess that now you have produced the GC you are irrelevant but an annoyance to mommy dearest! you don't kow tow to her/them, you have opinions and they aren't that Mummy is wonderful! This situation is likely to continue as he has been trained from childhood to think Mummy is wonderful, always right and those who don't see her that way are the enemy!
your OH was brought up by this toxic couple - he obviously is completely loyal to her and in his view only one of your children is to be included in his favour - and you are falling out of his rapidly! I can see where this is going - be very very careful hun.

Just_a_Girl_2

I'm horrified by what I've read and can only echo the other posts that encourage you think long and hard about bringing children up in such a toxic atmosphere.

Did you manage to speak to him lastnight?

1886

If they live 300 miles away I would just try and forget them and avoid them, can't be that hard with that much distance between you. I have'nt got time for nasty ppl. They've brought it on themselves, tough

emsaint

try and forget them. Tht's what i have done with the whole of my husband's family. They treat his first child differently to our son - he got no christmas presents or acknowledgement that he was born- he's done nothing he's only nearly 1

I tried for a long time to be nice to them but all i got was rudeness and the straw that broke the camels back was when one of them said i bet your baby dies like the others - 3 miscarriages and i was 3 months pregnant at the time - and his family thought i'd over reacted at that. i lost it and my husband supported me. We still send cards etc but i won't go out of my way and i certainly won't visit them. Thankfully they are 300 miles away.

Slinky

emsaint wrote: »

try and forget them. Tht's what i have done with the whole of my husband's family. They treat his first child differently to our son - he got no christmas presents or acknowledgement that he was born- he's done nothing he's only nearly 1

I tried for a long time to be nice to them but all i got was rudeness and the straw that broke the camels back was when one of them said i bet your baby dies like the others - 3 miscarriages and i was 3 months pregnant at the time - and his family thought i'd over reacted at that. i lost it and my husband supported me. We still send cards etc but i won't go out of my way and i certainly won't visit them. Thankfully they are 300 miles away.

That's just evil....... why even bother with cards?

sassyblue

Never have l read a thread with such increasing horror.

Dump your hubby and run like the wind OP. No-one, absolutely no-one would speak to my child like they have your eldest and still be in contact with me, not even if it was the father of that child!

What is this doing to your eldest? And you are allowing it, what must she think? Hubby's needs reigning in or kicking out before he helps damage your youngest child. I feel for you, you must be so confused you can't see the wood for the trees, l can't believe you are still there putting up with this.

Pennysmakepounds

I am amazed by this thread.....and horrified that this so called "MAN" is the love of your life....or should that read 'WAS'....

Having said that, binging up children is hard, they can be a handful even without medical issues. I have 3 and I know what hard work they are....(Thankfully I have a full time job and the wife deals with them on the whole....:)...)

Joking aside, bringing up your own kids is hard enough, bringing up someone else’s.....well that’s another story..........

However, NOTHING excuses his behavior towards the child or YOU.....I would say he needs a stiff kick up the backside and he can't change....it's time to call it a day ....for the sake of your Child....

To be honest It sounds to me that this relationship is over...SORRY..

pukkamum

Op please do something immediately about the emotional abuse your husband is subjecting your daughter to.
I had a stepfather who treated me like this for years, I was told I was fat, stupid, lazy etc he even threatened to leave once citing the reason that he couldn't stand to breathe the same air as such an a-hole, this was in front of me.
My mother did nothing to stop it and I spent years crippled with self loathing and I have never forgiven her.

hellzbellz

Some of the comments on here about grin and bear it or bite your tongue for the sake of the husband when a child no matter who the father is is being belittled and verbally abused by adults make me livid.

If your husband hears them talking to your 12 year old like that and says nothing he's either been abused himself or is a piece of !!!!.

Either way you must set boundaries and tell these people that abuse is not tolerable under any circumstance toward you or any member of your family. If they don't respect that cut your losses. A child abuser isn't any loss anyway.

Please don't tell your daughter to accept abuse for someone else's benefit. That is the most insane thing I've ever seen on this board and I've read some crazy stuff.

emsaint

Slinky wrote: »

That's just evil....... why even bother with cards?

Because i'm not them and just because they dont bother with my son doesn't mean my husband should forget his nieces or nephews